My father was like this for almost a month before he died.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4KG1akAX0I

He had osteosarcoma that he hid from us and didn't get treated. After he died, we thought he'd known about it for two years, but we just discovered that he knew about it for five years.

He had a rock-hard mass in his abdomen the size of a soccer ball. If I ever meet him again, I'm going to ask him what the hell he was thinking.

"No idea," he'll say. It'll be like that Monty Python sketch where in the middle of an argument, somebody suddenly shouts, "Burma!"

"Why'd you say that?" the other person asks.

"I panicked."

After Dad died, we found that he'd bought several pairs of underwear with a 52-inch waist.

His plan to deal with his growing tumor was to buy bigger underwear.

So you say you're looking for a video that proves the American government wants to steal children from Conservatives and give them to gay couples to abuse?

Well, here ya go.

Obama: NSA reforms will give Americans 'more confidence' in surveillance programs

It's late and I'm closing with a joke!

This woman is out there somewhere.

Apparently, the British Toilet Association awards imaginative or innovative UK faciities every year. Here are this year's charming results.

Pay attention to the 13th photo. Does it bother you as much as it does me?

The problem with your gif crid is it only shows one rotation on a loop.

We have no idea of how talented she really is

So here's the problem with the American version.

It lacks the lightness the lungs help create.

Is this a sign of the apocolypse: Bill Gates is worrying about what's in your pants?