Advice Goddess Radio, LIVE Tonight, 7-8pm PT -- Dr. Matthew Lieberman: How Our Social Selves Drive Life Satisfaction And Even Self-Esteem
Amy Alkon's Advice Goddess Radio: "Nerd Your Way To A Better Life!" with the best brains in science.
Dr. Matthew Lieberman's new book is Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect
For example, there's a finding by his wife and research partner, Naomi Eisenberger and her colleagues that taking acetaminophen (think Tylenol) actually diminished the pain of being socially excluded. Lieberman explains, "Our sensitivity to social rejection is so central to our well-being that our brains" react to social wounds (and ways to heal from them) much like they do physical ones.
An important underlying point in his book is that self-esteem is not just "from within." It's deeply affected by whether we're liked or esteemed -- or bullied -- by others (which research finds even affects our IQ).
We'll be discussing many such interesting and unexpected findings on tonight's show, and discussing ways we can each capitalize on what Lieberman has learned from the research.
Listen at this link from 7-8 pm Pacific, 10-11 pm Eastern, or download the podcast afterward:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon/2014/01/06/dr-matthew-lieberman-how-our-social-selves-drive-life-satisfaction-self-esteem
Don't miss last week's show with exercise trainer and rehab expert Fred Hahn, who explains why slow-speed strength training for just a few minutes a week will make you healthier than that fitness nut who spends his or her week running miles upon miles in the rain and hours in the gym. (He lays out fascinating and solid evidence throughout the show.)
Fred is co-author, with Dr. Michael Eades and Dr. Mary Dan Eades, whom I greatly respect, of The Slow Burn Fitness Revolution: The Slow-Motion Exercise That Will Change Your Body In 30 Minutes A Week.
Listen at this link or download the podcast:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon/2013/12/30/fred-hahn-on-science-based-exercise
I'll be switching buses at that time and might not be in a position to listen live, or send in a question while listening from my phone.
If the inquiry is apropos of the flow of the interview, will you please ask Dr. Lieberman for strategies for reinforcing or encouraging social connection while asking for behavior modification?
I work as a contract attorney in a large city. It is common for people to work in close quarters for long hours with people we've just met. These groups frequently face the trade off between keeping things distant and simple, or fostering closeness that is reassuring but creates the added risk of social tension or rejection.
What can I do to reinforce social acceptance and connection while asking someone to do something differently, either before we've established good will, or after we've established good will but while someone is under duress?
Michelle at January 5, 2014 3:49 PM
Thanks, Michelle -- will try to ask this!
Amy Alkon at January 5, 2014 4:29 PM
I appreciate it!
The perfume/ body odor convo (for example) can be tricky with a new coworker on a new job, but unavoidable when working in close quarters for long hours. Touchy stuff.
Michelle at January 5, 2014 4:36 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2014/01/advice-goddess-146.html#comment-4179280">comment from MichelleI actually answer that in my upcoming book. I'll try to ask him at least about the perfume one. if the body odor comes from their being from another culture and not bathing, they actually may be able to use it as fuel for a hostile workplace case. (This is not my wisdom but that of an expert in that area -- I just don't want to give his name because I'm in a rush to finish prepping the show and can't go dig up his thoughts right now. Oh, and I'm also not supposed to put out my book before it's published! That, too!)
Amy Alkon
at January 5, 2014 5:02 PM
I hadn't thought of the cross-culture/ hostile workplace angle. You are thorough.
Perhaps perfume or second hand smoke are more similar irritants.
I look forward to reading your book.
My battery's running down/ outlets on the bus aren't working, and we're 45 minutes behind, so I will once again catch the recorded version of your show.
Michelle at January 5, 2014 7:00 PM
Will that slow-arsed method of exercise actually help you lose weight, the way jogging does for me?
mpetrie98 at January 5, 2014 7:54 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2014/01/advice-goddess-146.html#comment-4179512">comment from mpetrie98Better, mpetrie, and jogging is very bad for you. The show explains why.
Sorry, Michelle, didn't get to your question. I wanted to and told him about it before the show but it just didn't seem to fit in at the end of the show.
Amy Alkon
at January 5, 2014 8:21 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2014/01/advice-goddess-146.html#comment-4179514">comment from MichelleJust saw your comment above about cross-culture, etc.
With perfume, you can claim "allergies."
He was great, by the way. His book and research really opened my eyes. (I referenced his work and Eisenberger's in a recent column, so I read a number of their papers.)
Amy Alkon
at January 5, 2014 8:23 PM
I understand. Thank you for fielding my request.
I usually just say the truth, which is that I have asthma. I was having asthma attacks in response to someone's residual smoke, but he wouldn't switch seats or switch to a smokeless method. It was tough to solve the problem without his assistance, but one of our other colleagues stepped up and switched seats so that the two of us who were having asthma or irritation effects could sit furthest away from the smoker. I'm almost always interested in figuring out whether there was a better way to handle a touchy situation. It was helpful to me that this topic had been covered in one of your blog postings shortly before this happened. Thanks again.
I look forward to listening to the recording.
Michelle at January 5, 2014 9:35 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2014/01/advice-goddess-146.html#comment-4180294">comment from MichelleThe asthma excuse is perfect. What you want to do is avoid saying, "Hey, clueless asshole, your perfume would have been perfect for trench warfare."
Amy Alkon
at January 6, 2014 6:08 AM
So that's where I went wrong!
Michelle at January 6, 2014 6:20 AM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2014/01/advice-goddess-146.html#comment-4180414">comment from MichelleHah!
Amy Alkon
at January 6, 2014 7:35 AM
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