I have no feelings on them one way or another.

I'm indifferent. I don't drink so open or paid bar makes no different to me. For Chinese wedding, guests paid up front (a bit more practical, the wedding is an expensive undertaking) but the food is usually worth it, as there are dishes there only found during wedding banquet.

It varies on the wedding and who is getting married.
Things I like about weddings:
Wishing friends good luck in their new life.
Get back together/seeing old friends.
(if I'm single) better chance of hooking up.
Sometimes the food is good (or what I like).
Dancing.
Taking pictures.

Things I don't like about weddings:
Dressing up in uncomfortable clothes.
I don't like formality for the sake of formality.
Not acting natural.
Relatives (not necessarily my relatives) and drama.
Sometimes the food is stuff I don't like.
Long distances.
(if part of a couple) usually brings up questions of where are we going, why haven't you proposed to me yet. We had only been dating 3 months so was a very awkward drive home.

So in the case of weddings where I don't know either of the party (Where I'm the +1, or distant friends or relatives)

The last one I went to was an old college friend of my gf. I knew no one there and was a 3rd wheel for much of the night. Spent much of the reception hanging with some other +1s who were just as bored as me, or dancing with I think the Aunt of the bride.

I don't believe in public executions.

For my boyfriend and me--as for any gay couple--a great deal depends on the wedding. So long as one of us knows the couple, the other usually goes without protest.

When one of us doesn't know the couple and the other knows and doesn't much care for them, it gets harder. Weddings are supposed to be a happy time, and it's hard to be happy when you don't know or wish you didn't know the people getting married.

One of the more rotten things that happened was when the minister at one wedding went off script and started weighing in on how marriage should be heterosexual. The bride and groom were friends of mine and, to their credit, they chewed out the minister after the ceremony on the grounds that he'd offended the guests.

I haven't been to a wedding in years. If invited I'd probably just send a gift and skip attending.

I think the best receptions are the informal buffet picnic types. It allows everyone to get to know each other but the happy couple gets out of doing most of the seating arrangements.

I learned to hate them after a couple of events where I was ambushed by the happy couple.

"Surprise, we couldn't afford a photographer/videographer. Here's some sort of camera. Do a professional job, mkay?"

"Hey, this is my sister. You should date. She's beautiful. Isn't she beautiful?".

Yikes.

Drunks, jealous bridesmaids, the happy couple disappearing for three and a half hours while a hall full of people wait, pill-popping cougars slamming shots and salivating over the boy candy, horny grandpas elbowing me to join them in staring at a 20 year old's tits.

It's just too sordid.

My ex hated attending weddings for my friends/family, but was fine with them when it came to his friends/family. What it boiled down to was that he disliked being surrounded by a bunch of people who know each other, when he didn't know anyone but me. His fear was that I'd "abandon" him, leaving him standing alone awkwardly.

But that same dislike applied to all parties -- not just weddings. My ex was an introvert. I am too, so I get it. But I tend to be more willing to bite the bullet and attend uncomfortable events with my significant other.

My current boyfriend LOVES weddings.

I noticed I glossed over the original question. I'm so-so about weddings. I like them under some circumstances (60% of the time) and hate them (40% of the time) under others.

I despise going to them. I hate dressing up for anything, as I am a jeans & tee-shirt guy. I also don't like being in gatherings of people where I only know a few. It makes me uncomfortable. Plus, I don't dance. At all. Ever. No, not because I'm bad at it. I wish I was as good as "bad". My "dancing" resembles the results you would get if you stuck electrodes into your legs and randomly applied current to them, only less coordinated. I'll be the guy in the back hiding under the table. Leave me alone, and no one has to get hurt.

I don't hate them. I don't consider them great entertainment. I will happily go to weddings for close friends and family. I'm not interested in going to someone who is four degrees removed from me just because they're trolling for gifts. Fortunately for me, my wife is not crazy about weddings either. Our own wedding was a simple affair with only a few close friends and family, and that's the way we wanted it.

I hate them. I always look forward to them, and think I'm going to have fun, but I never do.

I can't imagine you advocate lying about going out of town. If he hates weddings, tell him and let him off the hook. And if he has a problem with you going to weddings without him, that's his problem.

I don't mind weddings. BF does, unless they're family weddings, then he'll go. But eh. I can take 'em or leave 'em.

My "dancing" resembles the results you would get if you stuck electrodes into your legs

Hah, love that.

I've only been to two weddings. Both were for Marine war buddies of mine, so they weren't so bad. There were free drinks and we all got pretty wild, so even though I'm staunchly anti-marriage, they're among my fun memories.

I got another wedding to go to soon, first non-Marine one, but it's from other party-friends, so I'm looking forward to it.

From my wedding-hating male friend: They're all the same (so they're boring). Cornball wedding activities like the Hokey Pokey and catching the garter. It's hard to beg off without looking like a jerk. He usually doesn't know many people there. You have to be "on" throughout the event (tough for introverts). Lots of schmaltzy, lovey-dovy speeches, which are boring if you don't know the couple and eyeroll-inducing if you do. Infliction of religion, especially irksome if you know the couple is not otherwise religious.

Worst of all: If you're not married to your date, EVERYONE will make jokes about when that will happen.

I have to agree that all weddings are the same. Even couples who kill themselves trying to be original end up on the same script. Maybe the food is barbecue, or the guests are in costumes, or someone reads Shel Silverstein instead of something from the Bible, but they're still all the same.

Can add much more than Joe J said.

I find that weddings are mainly for the bride, to a lesser extent the families (both sides), but overall a semi-public exhibition in which there are few participants but lots of spectators. It is designed to elicit (manipulate?) strong emotions from all involved. Unfortunately, I don’t really care to participate as a spectator (for all the reasons Joe J stated). If it is a wedding for an immediate family member or very close friend then I am all about joining in that emotionally laden event since these people are directly part of my life. Otherwise you are just part of the awkward crowd of people obligated to be there. And we all know how much we love obligations…

Hate them. Only 1 has been fun.
I hate wearing uncomfortable clothes.
Overly formal.
I either know hardly anyone there or its family and there is a bit of drama there and lots of questions and prying as to when I am getting married.
Lots of space filler conversation (I hate that).

The one wedding or really he reception afterwards was for a good friend and co-worker. I knew lots of people there but they didn't care about my dating status. And it was party people... it was a lot like a kegger.

I'd wager many men feel about weddings the way women feel about going camping. A few like it, many tolerate it if they have to (social pressure) others ....

Yes, men hate going to weddings. Especially if they're the groom.

Joe J - that is seriously unfair to those of us women who enjoy camping. And I'm talking tents, campfires, no electricity, and no running water.

My wife and I are ballroom dancers. But we never dance at weddings. Why not? (1) Postage-stamp-size dance floors; (2) drunks bumping into you, and (3) typical wedding DJ's don't know squat about dance music.

If it's family, it's a requirement, close friends, semi-requirement .. in either case they are not for fun, they are to support and bear witness. In other words not all about you. OTOH, bah, who wants to go to a stilted uncomfortable party like that, if you aren't close to the couple.

I dun even go to parties as a plus one friend, because of uncomfortable questions.

If weddings:men :: camping:women, then I feel really sorry for every man I ever dragged to a wedding. Because I think I would prefer jail to camping.

Max at January 2, 2014 9:45 AM wins the bitter bachelor response (BBR™) category. Congratulations! Amy will drive to the post office today and put your certificate in the mail.

Good work! ☑



Honorable mention to Posted by: Joe J at January 2, 2014 9:16 AM:

> (if I'm single) better chance of hooking up.

If you don't like groups of strangers but already have a date, the spark that could brighten the event is already smothered.



Props also to Posted by: coffee! at January 2, 2014 12:18 PM, who stimulates the discussion warmly:

> It is designed to elicit (manipulate?)
> strong emotions from all involved.
> Unfortunately, I don’t really care to
> participate as a spectator

In much younger days I read somewhere that ceremonies were how the military processes moments of sentiment. (This may have been blindingly obvious to the rest of America, but to a kid raised on a campus, it was revelatory.) There are feelings that need to be acknowledged, if not indulged.

Coffee's right that those of us who aren't equipped to share the poignance of a distant acquaintance's marriage aren't going to be amused by a theatrical ceremony, either. (Gowns! Funky vows! Participation by cousins of achievement, or trouble uncles just out of prison but trying to make a fresh start!)

Yes, we older men will be trying to peek down the bride's neckline. Or her mother's. Or her Maid of Honor's. What did you expect was going to happen? (I hardly know you, lady, but since you've got your nipples at my temple....)

Mr. Clark hates big weddings, will attend small ones if they are close family/friends. Why:

It is more about the reception than the wedding. Big receptions are too formal and you hardly know anyone. If you do want to catch up with someone, it's very difficult. Many last way too long. Most receptions are way to loud and the food is usually terrible.

Many times we have gone to the wedding and skipped the reception.

Whence "theatrical"?

Guess the exact word our bride used to describe the setting of that platform as she arranged the ceremony. Was it:

☐ [A.] Perfect!

☐ [B.] Perfect!

☒ [C.] Perfect!

Choose only one!

Not a guy, but I despise weddings and all the drama and drunks. If it's not my wedding I have no reason to be there. My fiance, on the other hand, loves going to the wedding but I think it's for all the free alcohol at the reception.

@ Kima I don't see how it's unfair, since I clearly said some like it.

I'll go because it's a chance to study behavior, as long as it's not my own wedding, again.

Adam Carolla does a bit where he describes how weddings can stir the wrath of a woman who is waiting for a proposal from a man…that may be why some men don't like weddings.

(As a long-time reader of this column, I don't for a second think this is true of Amy and Gregg, but might apply elsewhere.)

> Carolla does a bit where he describes how
> weddings can stir the wrath of a woman who
> is waiting for a proposal

He has a great variant for the Palm Springs weekend.

You think you're just getting away for a couple days to eff, play tennis in late afternoon, and have some drinks... But her friends at the office have been telling her this has got to be the weekend that he proposes. ("Yes, I think he really will! He's probably got the ring in the pocket of his Michigan State hoodie!" So on Sunday afternoon you're driving back to the coast, all chilled and chatty and thinking about getting into work the next day, and she's sitting upright in the passenger seat, arms folded, strangely quiet....

Maybe men hate going to weddings for the same reason I hate going to bridal and baby showers.

"Life isn't one damn thing after another. It's the same damn thing over and over."

Lizzie, I'm going to have to remember that quote. Thanks!

I hated going to them.

Then I got married, and realized how much I appreciated everybody being there.

I don't mind weddings; in fact, I gladly go to wish the happy couple a great day.

Of course, I only get invited to weddings of couples I know; so, maybe I'd be in Gregg's shoes if it was a couple which I didn't know that well.

I hate going to weddings if I don't know the bride or groom. I hate small talk, introducing myself to people I don't know, cause I'm not going to see them agin! What's the point???? I hate it trying to act friendly when I don't want to be. Also, I really hate it when people who I just meet ask me what do I do for a living. It's like, do you even care??? You don't know me and you probably won't see me again, so why do you even care what I do for a living!
Also, if I don't know either the bride or groom that well, why would I want to go? I also seriously doubt that they would even care if I'm there!!!!!!!!!!!

After 20 years of being a part-time wedding photographer, I now detest weddings ! Let me give all of you a few clues about what happens if your a single guy that gets invited to a wedding....

1)"Oh you just HAVE to meet my cousin!" I can pretty much promise you that the cousin is fat and ugly or a crazy cat lady or both.

2)" Can you give my Aunty Urinal a ride to the wedding...it's only 50 miles out of your way" My truck is black....not taxi yellow ! Arranging transport for your wedding guests is not my damned problem !

3) yup, I've had the bit about the photographer not showing up pulled on me ! Fine...I charge $100 per hour-5 hour minimum. If I like you, I might do your wedding pictures for free...but then, I don't like most people !

4) any out of town wedding is going to cost me at least $500. As I see it,that's a waste of my entertainment budget. You've seen one wedding you've seen them all.

5) I HATE sitting with people I don't know and being expected to make small talk. I really detest people you ask me questions that are none of their damned business. The last time someone asked me what kind of work I did at a wedding, I told them I was a hit man. They left me alone after that. And sitting me with your preacher will not cause me to suddenly convert to whatever religion you belong to-not happening !

6) I have never been able to dance and nor do I plan on learning to. Your bridesmaids constantly trying to pull me out on to the dance floor just pisses me off. I can't drink due to a medical problem, so there's pretty much nothing for me to do at a wedding.

7) DON'T use the " but you'll get a free meal out of it" line. See #5....for $500, I can eat out every night of the week for a month !

I have rules I taught my relatives kids-you might want to borrow them-

1) If I have to go to your wedding and bring my dad-you get ZERO $ from me because he will embarrass me by doing something stupid.

2) If you just have to have me there, you get $50

3) If I can stay home and watch TV, you get $100

Amazing how often they pick #3....

I am a woman and this is how I feel about weddings. Unless the wedding is your own, they are drawn-out boring affairs full of people you don't know (at least 3/4 of the guests are usually total strangers), very expensive for guests (gift for the couple, something to wear, shoes, etc., and this is after you've probably popped for a pricey wedding shower gift), and time consuming.

I don't want to spend hours driving to a wedding (even with my husband doing the driving), another half-an-hour finding a place to park (big city church weddings are the worst for this and you often end up blocks away from the church because that lot is full and you have to pay through the nose at some alternate location...

and then sitting on a hard pew until my butt is numb while the bridal party followed by the bride moves down the aisle at a snail's pace. And whoever thought that having a 3 year-old flower girl was cute? The kid usually gets scared about halfway down the aisle, begins screaming and/or crying, and has to be coaxed or carried the rest of the way to the front. More time spent in a hot church smelling a mix of perfumes that increases in the heat to the point I am grabbing for my inhaler.

Then, as my butt is totally asleep from the hard pew, I have to strain to hear the couple recite their unoriginal vows. I no longer strain to hear this. I just sit there and think about what I am going to do when we get home and I can get out of the uncomfortable clothes I am wearing including the shoes that are killing my feet. I know that my husband is basically thinking the same thing, that is if he's awake. I usually have to nudge him because he is either asleep or about to be.

Of course between all this boredom and going home is the reception. That is often the worst. We are seated with people we don't know from Adam and Eve. Boring people who have nothing interesting to say and at least three or four are clearly drinking way too much. I have to listen to more toasts (enough with the toasts!), by a parade of people who are awful at public speaking and even worse at humor. The food is either good or not. There doesn't seem to be any in between on this. The time finally comes to cut the cake (thank goodness) and we are subjected to at least three more toasts. Applause as the bride and groom together slice the first piece. Apparently this is such a monumental job that applause is required afterward. We eat the cake, another food item that can be very good - or not.

We don't wait for the bride and groom to leave the venue because often times they NEVER do! We try and find them to say "Congratulations" for the umpteenth time (they are probably tired of hearing it at this point), and we flee into the descending twilight, thankful that another wedding is over. In fact, we now often make excuses and don't even go to them. We don't invent reasons. We just say we can't make it. That is easier.

Why is this about men hating weddings? Is there something somehow gendered about hating watching people go into debt and passing that debt onto everyone who's ever known them, for their narcissistic displays of "completeness" due to their heterosexual coupledom? MAYBE WOMEN HATE WEDDINGS TOO!

I've been happily married to my wife for almost 19 years and haven't had to go to but a handful of weddings. I'd rather have my teeth cleaned than have to go to anyone's wedding. The only one that was cool was one we had in our home for a nephew that I grew up with that is more like a brother. About 100 or so people and I was the best man. It was his third wedding, but the lady he married is quick witted and funny. I think the reason this wedding didn't blow chunks is because I had enough going on before, during and after that day helping out that I wasn't bored out of my gourd. I'm a bit ADD and I like having something to keep me occupied. I wore a tux and the whole shabang! Generally I hate weddings though.

I hate weddings more than anything. They're boring, predictable, and worse off, all the same. You have everything the people getting married, ceremony, dancing... none of it is appealing. I've said in the past, I'd rather attend a funeral. At least we know then, that the guest of honor isn't suffering or won't suffer any longer.

My wife makes me go to weddings for her family, (large family) and I'm miserable at every one.

I have to say, that weddings and marriage are two different things. Both suck though.

Sadly, I am being forced to attend one tomorrow for her sister, who is marrying a complete moron. I hope I am unable to attend, due to amputation or a case of uncontrollable diarrhea. Shoot me please