Just don't call anyone back, apparently that's a new scam. https://www.google.com/search?q=don%27t+call+back

Also, I will be expecting weekly survey updates.

My technique is to say,"Thanks for calling me about Amway. I am sure we have just the thing you are looking for. So what would like to buy? Some perfume perhaps?" Click in now time.

The "about your vagina" conversation I find very entertaining.

If you want to retaliate, being witty with the phone rep doesn't do it, nor does encouraging them to hang up. The whole point of robocalls and the initial conversation is to eliminate unlikely sales as quickly as possible. Robocalls are particularly efficient because almost no one "presses 1" to speak with the sales rep, only those so foolish as to be interested in the offer.

To retaliate, keep the rep on the line as long as possible. This bogs down their operation.

Clearly, there is a balance. You can't waste your life stringing along a sales rep, although this can be informative if you are curious. So, present situtations which lengthen their time on the phone at the least cost to you.

() Always "press 1". This uses up some of their time even if you say nothing. If everyone went through to the live rep, they couldn't stay in business. They would talk to hundreds of people for every one truly interested.

() Say "Just a second, I'll turn off the TV. I'd like to find out more." Then, don't bother going back, just hang up after a minute or two. They will already be off the line. They don't wait long.

() For Credit Card Services, talk just a bit. When they ask about your credit situation, say "I'll need a moment to get my last credit card statement." Again, walk away and hang up in a few minutes.

It is painful to invest even more time after they have started by wasting yours. But, only this type of pushback can have a practical effect on slowing them down or stopping them.

Clearly, the phone companies are not interested in shutting down these intruders. The telemarketers are big customers of the phone companies.

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Andrew; I would not recommend pressing one - that indicates to their system that you ARE an interested party, even when you are not, which means that your number is now flagged as such and cause them to call you back, and call you back, and call you back.

They will also sell your number as one that responds to telemarketing.

So, do NOT press one.

I usually just screen my calls by letting the answering machine (yes, I still have one of those) pick up the call. On the rare occasion that I do pick up and it is a telemarketer I usually just say "not interested" and hang up; But, I am going to try Amy's suggestion next time and turn it into a sex call.

The best way ever to respond to phone spam is the Tom Mabe method. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7OgWcwgB50

-jcr

Just don't call anyone back, apparently that's a new scam.

Not new, just recycled. At least they're environmentally friendly...I generally figure if it is important enough, they'll leave voice mail or call back. And if caller id says "blocked call" or equivalent, I don't answer and send them to voicemail hell. Tho spoofing caller id is generally not difficult.

Speaking of carpet cleaning cold calls, I once heard a guy on the radio who pranked one such cold caller with "oh, there's so much blood, blood every where, oh god, you've got to send someone over immediately".

When the local franchise called in, with a certain amount of "should I call the police as well" in her voice, the pranker said he had no idea what she was talking about, and that he didn't need carpets cleaned.

JCR - that is priceless! I so wish I had the nerve to do that.

At least they're environmentally friendly…

They anything but.

They invade your environment.

That's not friendly; it's rude and piggish.

If you can figure out who's surveying you (takes a little Internet detective work) I hope you'll track down the executives' home numbers and call them at 3 a.m. to tell them what you think of their being in the "business of abuse."

Amy I had someone call my parents business, I picked up and said just send a fax their assistant isn't here, they physically showed up the next day.

I tore the guy a new one and he got mad at me.

I used to get LOTS of telemarketing calls, and I tried many ways to get them to stop. Be nice, be rude, waste their time, ask them to "wait a second while I [...]", invoke Do Not Calls lists, and more. Nothing worked.

Just before I looked into filing a DNC lawsuit, I hit upon one last idea: give them career/life counselling. I'd ask them about their jobs, their career plans, their interests, their life goals, how they felt about blah blah blah, etc. I usually gave them some coaching and advice, too.

Phone calls tapered off rapidly, and after three weeks they'd stopped almost completely. I'd like to think that I convinced so many callers to change jobs that their bosses blacklisted my phone number. "Danger! DO NOT let our employees call this number! It makes them all quit."