Do We Care About The Ways Life Kicks You In The Ass? Not If You're A Man
A lot of journal articles are a slog to get through. This one isn't, and it's worth the read. It's Wayne State law professor Kingsley R. Browne's paper on how only certain sex disparities -- those negatively affecting women -- become the subject of widespread concern, and something seen to be in need of correction. A bit from the abstract:
Ones that are perceived as favoring men are labeled "gaps," while those that favor women are simply facts. Outside the workplace, men are arguably disadvantaged in a variety of arenas, whether in terms of health and longevity, crime and violence, domestic relations, or education. In the workplace, men are far more likely than women to be killed and to work long hours. None of these disparities is generally viewed as a "gap" deserving of intervention, however. Men earn a disproportionate number of Ph.Ds in some fields, while women earn a disproportionate number in others. Only the former set of disparities, however, is typically viewed as a "gap."Many of the statistical disparities between the sexes in the workplace are a consequence of average sex differences in the choices that men and women make about education, the workplace, and the family. Many of these choices are products, in part, of biologically influenced sex differences in talents, temperament, and tastes (all of which appear to be influenced by testosterone), and they all involve trade-offs.
Download it here, free. (Saving the $20 you'd pay on Lexis-Nexis.) You'll be glad you did. Promise!
An excerpt from the paper:
Although it is true that there are more spectacular male successes there are also more spectacular failures, though they get far less attention. Similarly, the tendency of men more than women to devote themselves single-mindedly to their careers is certainly related to some of the workplace gaps, but it is also the reason why women more often end up with custody of the children upon divorce when status as primary caretaker is given weight in custody decisions. That same devotion to the job can also lead to premature death from overwork. Moreover, many of the traits that may pay off in the workplace are the same traits that can lead to violent crime and early death.The fact is that the workplace requires tradeoffs, and those tradeoffs are likely to be weighed differently by different people, according to their own preferences and motivations. What leads one person to choose a career in finance and another person to choose a career in elementary education? Or one person to be a high-rise iron worker and another a dental hygienist? Or one person to intensify workforce commitment after becoming a parent and another person to reduce it? Individual differences in talents no doubt play a large role, as do well-established sex differences in social preferences, risk preferences, and competitive preferences. Which is the "better" choice? It depends upon the abilities and preferences of the individuals, but more men will choose careers in finance and as iron-workers, and more women will choose to be dental hygienists and elementary-school teachers.
Despite the frequent assertion that the gaps that favor men (although not those that favor women) are results of invidious social forces, the truth seems to be somewhat more basic. If the various workplace and non-workplace gaps could be distilled down to a single word, that word would not be "discrimination" but "testosterone." Testosterone is associated with a variety of sex-typed behaviors and traits (even in females), including dominance seeking, aggression, risk preferences, fear, spatial ability, occupational preferences, entrepreneurship, nurturance, and empathy, and it may also be causally related to differences in life expectancy. These traits are all related in one way or another to most of the gaps that have been discussed.
The failure to acknowledge tradeoffs has resulted in a somewhat distorted perspective on the part of some advocates for women. They seem to want all of the benefits of being a man with none of the costs. The question should not be "do you want the good stuff or the bad stuff?"; it should instead be "do you want the high-testosterone package or the low-testosterone package, each of which comes with some good and some bad?"
1. Women have options; men have obligations.
2. Feminist discourse is reducible to a woman uttering the words 'I want'. (See Sandra Fluke).
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It is difficult to imagine someone of the disposition and calibre of Clare Boothe Luce in public life today. (Though Camille Paglia might be seen as someone who manifests aspects of it in humorous form).
Art Deco at April 1, 2014 4:50 AM
"The failure to acknowledge tradeoffs has resulted in a somewhat distorted perspective on the part of some advocates for women. They seem to want all of the benefits of being a man with none of the costs."
Well, of course. The Man is supposed to bear the extra cost, and when he doesn't, it's a "War On Women."
Isaac T. at April 1, 2014 9:44 AM
God save me from whiny men who see the world as a place where they're victimized over and over and over again.
If you are a man: Nut up.
Kevin at April 1, 2014 11:18 AM
Kevin: You're welcome to nut up all you want. Me, I'm avoiding all the ass-kickings I possibly can. That includes putting myself in a position where this society can take away my money, health or freedom.
Amy: Nice find! I downloaded the paper for later reading.
Chris at April 1, 2014 11:39 AM
>>If you are a man: Nut up.
Translation: "If you're a man living a hard life, having injustice heaped upon you, nobody cares, go fuck yourself."
That pretty much sums it up.
Assholio at April 1, 2014 11:44 AM
@Chris: We're on the same page, I think. For me, "nut up" means: take responsibility for yourself and your actions; protect yourself with birth control or prepare to take care of kids; make sure you have the means to live independently; follow through on your word; and if life slugs you in the gut, pick yourself up and keep going with some modicum of grace.
@Assholio: If that's working for you, keep it up.
Kevin at April 1, 2014 11:53 AM
Kevin: That is MUCH more sensible. We have a different understanding of the term you used.
A phrase like "nut up" (or "man up") is Shaming Language 101 from feminists. It's commonly understood as, "Put women first! Sacrifice yourself for the Feminine Imperative!"
Yeah right. Not happening here. Had a vasectomy at 30, don't associate with women more than necessary, don't go out to bars or clubs, and I sure as hell am never marrying!
Chris at April 1, 2014 12:21 PM
A phrase like "nut up" (or "man up") is Shaming Language 101 from feminists. It's commonly understood as, "Put women first! Sacrifice yourself for the Feminine Imperative!"
Well, I don't let anyone - men or women - make me feel ashamed I'm a guy. As for life decisions: we all make 'em, and we live under our choices and either thrive or wilt.
One of my choices involves not reading academic arguments about sex and gender differences. It's worked out pretty well so far!
Kevin at April 1, 2014 12:29 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2014/04/do-we-care-abou.html#comment-4447657">comment from KevinA phrase like "nut up" (or "man up") is Shaming Language 101 from feminists.
Oh, please.
"Shaming Language" is sniveling pantywad talk.
If you use this, you should try to rent a pair of balls or tape some hairy bits on yours.
Growing a pair would be another option.
Amy Alkon
at April 1, 2014 1:33 PM
"Sniveling pantywad talk" ??
Who let Pajamaboy in ??? (evil grin)
Keith Glass at April 1, 2014 2:27 PM
>>"Shaming Language" is sniveling pantywad talk.
Translation: "If you're a man being ridiculed for any complaint you might have, nobody cares, go fuck yourself."
Assholio at April 1, 2014 5:39 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2014/04/do-we-care-abou.html#comment-4448017">comment from Assholio>>"Shaming Language" is sniveling pantywad talk. Translation: "If you're a man being ridiculed for any complaint you might have, nobody cares, go fuck yourself."
No, it isn't that nobody cares about a complaint.
"Waaaaah, you 'shaming' meeeeee!" is the problem.
So, somebody's ridiculing you. People do it to me with some frequency. The answer is getting up on your hind legs and saying something back, not whining about their language and deeming it "shaming." If you're "shamed," that's on you.
(For a little change of pace, why not just announce, "I'm pathetic and weak"?)
Oh, and hilariously, that term -- "shaming language" -- is used to try to shame somebody for some remark they made. Not to worry. You merely made me think less of you for using that term. I did a check just now and I seem to be -- yes! -- shame free!
Amy Alkon
at April 1, 2014 6:06 PM
>>No, it isn't that nobody cares about a complaint.
Actually my point was that no one cares if you are a man being ridiculed. My personal response to being ridiculed is, "Go fuck yourself."
>>Oh, and hilariously, that term -- "shaming language" -- is used to try to shame somebody for some remark they made. Not to worry. You merely made me think less of you for using that term.
I don't believe anyone in this thread actually used that term except as a reference to feminist teachings/propaganda. I merely quoted you.
Assholio at April 1, 2014 6:27 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2014/04/do-we-care-abou.html#comment-4448056">comment from AssholioAnyone who takes that term seriously needs to glue hair on their balls, etc.
Amy Alkon
at April 1, 2014 6:33 PM
>> I did a check just now and I seem to be -- yes! -- shame free!
Too bad everyone doesn't have such bullet proof self esteem. I think you might have a real super power there!
Me, I'm just an asshole who doesn't really care anymore.
Assholio at April 1, 2014 6:38 PM
Chick singers!:
You may freely disregard any psychological principle no older than Duran Duran.
Crid [CridComment at Gmail] at April 1, 2014 7:57 PM
About "shaming language:" Most men, having been raised by women (mothers and teachers), are sensitive to signs of approval and disapproval from women. Women, consciously or not, take advantage of this. I have seen, for example, a female junior faculty member tell the university president in a public forum that she "was disappointed" in one of his decisions. He apologized, perhaps reflexively. I sincerely doubt he would have responded that way if a male faculty member made the same statement. Had the president been more attuned to "shaming language," he might have recognized the strategy and responded in, let's say, a more manly way.
The reason to take shaming language seriously is not to claim victim status or to whine, but rather to recognize a subtle but effective way in which women manipulate men. If you recognize shaming language, you can block the manipulation (and thereby "man up").
DrPinWV at April 2, 2014 4:22 AM
Weren't the Unions the ones who were looking out for guys getting injured on the jobs? Now that they've been busted we shouldn't be surprised that there's no one looking out for guys getting injured on the job...
And if you're running around shaming people, you're a bit of a douche.
NicoleK at April 2, 2014 6:04 AM
The reason to take shaming language seriously is not to claim victim status or to whine, but rather to recognize a subtle but effective way in which women manipulate men.
No, but perhaps a "subtle and effective way in which men allow themselves to be manipulated."
See: "Nut up," above.
Kevin at April 2, 2014 12:01 PM
Kevin, I think we are in agreement on the key issue: Shaming language is a tactic for manipulation and control. I don't have a firm position on the distinction between "a way to manipulate men" versus "a way in which men allow themselves to manipulated." My point is that getting men to recognize the tactic will help them to "nut up" and resist it.
DrPinWV at April 2, 2014 2:14 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2014/04/do-we-care-abou.html#comment-4450231">comment from DrPinWVI get emails like this every so often.
When I get an email like this, I don't wring my hands and talk about "shaming language." I think, "Somebody's a miserable asshole" and get on with my day.
The hilarious thing is, when some of the mob who attacked me a few years back were posting whole posts on me and how unattractive I am -- yes, whole posts, with hundreds of comments -- in one of them, I noticed somebody commenting on my "yellow teeth."
They were right. My teeth were yellow! (I drink a lot of coffee.) Thanks to them, I started bleaching them. I love that -- the source of my now far-whiter teeth was people intending to hurt me.
Amy Alkon
at April 2, 2014 3:26 PM
>>I get emails like this every so often...
Point of fact; that is not "shaming language" - it is merely an insult. There is a difference.
>> See: "Nut up," above.
Translation: "I will attempt to shame you for not having bullet proof self esteem and immunity to female influence. Go fuck yourself."
Assholio at April 3, 2014 11:41 PM
The fact is that men are rarely seen as sympathetic creatures in our society. They always have been and always will be disposable. War would be impossible were it otherwise.
Matt at April 4, 2014 7:24 AM
>> They always have been and always will be disposable.
Translation: "If you are a man, society doesn't care about you, go fuck yourself."
Assholio at April 4, 2014 7:27 AM
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