Y'ever dream of sending a fax, or even just a 140-character tweet, to your childhood- or adolescent-self with some pearly little insight which would have changed the course of your life if only you had known?

This was one of those for me.

On a related topic- I've had guys tell me they don't want a relationship (aka dont want a girlfriend) and then get butt hurt when I don't pursue one with them.

Sometimes I think in my former life I was a gay guy or something.

Easy:
1 - "I am really a guy and just trolling to get this site more paid members"

2 - "Stay away or I will sue you for sexual harassment, I am just here for revenge on my last boyfriend. Oh, and by the way I hate sex now so don't ask or I will sick the last boyfriend on you"
-- I am sure none of that is true but that is the only safe position to take when you see it.

Maybe it means they are not planning on bringing a moving van to the second date?

Who knows what message these women are trying to convey.

"Not Looking For Anything Serious Right Now..."

Equals: "I'm just window shopping."

Or: "I'm just looking for some attention to feed my ego."

Whatever. Neither of these bother me much.

I think she's looking for betas to spend bucks on her or alphas to get fux from her.

I used to think excellent, she's happy with casual, sounds great. A couple of years ago I thoght that was what I wanted

Doesn't work that way and so not what was meant, as I belatedly realised. *Instant* red flag.

This guy was a little slow in realizing that she meant it.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10203562502287661

Trust and Ol' RPM Daddy pretty much hit all the high points. NakkiNyan hits the low points.

For me, it would indicate that we should order separately and get individual checks. No, I would not split the check. Even if we were meeting in a coffee shop.

I generally try to avoid their pastries...

"Slut."

"It's a Trap!"

Maybe it's just what she thinks guys want to hear.

Experience says that they are saying it to fool men -- or maybe that actually believe it -- whatever the case they are the most likely to want to be in some sort of relationship ASAP.

Or

I am looking for someone to entertain (and usually pay for) me but get nothing more than my company in return.

A friend of mine had this in her profile for a while after breaking up with a long-term boyfriend.

A lot of people on dating sites (especially the 28-and-over crowd) have the intention of marrying someone ASAP (as in, they have a deadline).

She was hoping having a disclaimer would dissuade such men, as she just wanted to date multiple people for a while. She wasn't opposed to getting into a new monogamous relationship if there was a good connection, but she wanted to weed out the "I want to meet someone, get engaged within 9 months, and be married within a year-and-a-half" guys.

1. Given my age and state in life, I would not be looking at one of those sites.

2. Were impediments to looking removed, I still would not bother because the women in my age group would be divorcees with some splainin' to do.

3. You need no online site to cross paths with unattached women happy for you to pick up the check. If they're divorcees, you likely know more of their circumstances being acquainted with them.

4. If they're interested in ... recreation..., that's less than dignified in my age group (or any age group, while we're at it).

5. If they're interested in companionship, &c., they do not say that unless its a bank shot. Cannot be bothered.....

Depends on the type of dating site.

I'd think free food, or NSA sex,

Either way no last names and never take them back to your place.

most savvy site users are used to "facts" being a loose understanding of what reality is, and so they would be trying to read BTW the lines.

For the femme in question, the sentence must be removed... it's too specific. It's like saying "My biological clock is ticking", or "I need a fling, because the guy I am cheating on my husband with is boring."

Nobody really needs to know all that up front. It puts off people that might be nice companions, and probably leads a lot of guys to assume the wrong thing, good or bad.

Karma being what it is, the first guy who makes a good connection will take her at her word, meanwhile after the first date her panties will be on fire... and he'll say: "wait, I thought you just wanted something casual... um, I don't want to get tied down."

And the boo-hooing starts..

It means she's on the rebound.

A green light for sex?

Just got out of a five-year relationship.

--

Such is our age. Financially dependency until age twenty-three, a decade or so of train-wreck 'relationships' (antedated by or concurrent with some drunken rutting with random party-goers and pub crawlers) which may or may not include a bastard child as a consolation prize, and now since nothing worked out it's her me time.

> It means she's on the rebound.

…Or that she wants to behave as if she is. Pack a condom, and don't worry too much if Callender's pastry chef has a bad night: It's going to be a great weekend.

Have fun out there, Pilgrim.

(Am speaking other contexts: I've met lots of women through the innernet, but none in a venue offering an "online profile." But I'd bet the principle applies.)

So, I can waste time in a relationship defined as not going anywhere, or date someone else and see where it leads? Easy choice, my life's not worth anything, and bad things could happen if it gets serious...

I'm neither single nor looking, but there is no way.

It means is many different things as there are different women on the sites.

It could mean everything from "don't get your hopes up" to "I'm really just shopping around" to, believe it or not, "I'm not looking for anything serious right now".

In my experience – and I used to do a lot of online dating – it's usually pretty meaningless; if you meet and nothing clicks, nothings going to happen, and if you meet him things click on overdrive, whatever was written the status is going out the window anyway.

It seems a lot of guys don't believe this. This particular woman really ISN'T looking for anything serious right now. Just got out of a five-year relationship. -- Amy

Yep. Even if that is her intent, my experience has been that she will almost assuredly fall into the "entertain me" group (wants to be taken out and paid for but that is all) or will at some point early on go - "Wow this guy is great - life is so much better with a good partner - lets make this serious"

I once responded to an ad like that. The woman had gotten out of a long-term relationship in which she almost got married. She realized she had only ever experienced being with one person at a time and wanted to see what it would be like to date a whole bunch of guys all at once. And by "date," she meant, "not having sex." I didn't have a problem with that and enjoyed being in her company because she was very attractive and fun to just hang out with. However, she would tell me about some of the other guys trying to make moves on her when she was not attracted to them. In this instance, "Not looking for anything serious right now..." didn't necessarily mean "She's Gotta Have It."

I think there are better ways to convey the same point. That's a stock line and is going to cause people to wonder why she needs to call it out in her profile. As you can see people are skeptical of online dating profiles and will read between the lines.

If that is what she wants she needs to state it more clearly. I am not saying add "sexfriend" at the end but rather that she wants to go out for drinks and stuff not the nebulus BS line "Not Looking For Anything Serious Right Now..." which could mean "I am looking for friends", "I am looking for prospective boyfriends but won't decide now", "I just want sex", or "unless you are rich, if you even say hi to me, I am calling the cops".

Sorry for being a downer but this is the land of the free and the home of the lawyers. Sexual harassment of course only goes one way (in practice) so it is up the perpetual winning side to be absolutely clear.

"This woman just wants to go out now and then and have sex with somebody -- one person, not a stranger every night."

That's exactly how I read it. She's not some kind of a "slut" (a stupid, sexist, word), but she would like the company of a man from time to time, but is content with her own company most of the time. That's no reason to be celibate.

I'm right there with her. Give her my number :)

Say something like - let's just have some fun - or - I want to meet a nice guy for some guilt free fun - something like that.

Don't say anything too sexy or you'll get perverts who want to poop on you and stuff.

+1 to both of NakkiNyan's posts, but I see one more likely possibility:

"I don't have the slightest interest in dating or getting laid, at least with anyone in this forum -- but one of my favorite sports is trolling desperate men, then broadcasting what I hear from them." And in her opinion, anyone who responds has proven himself to be one.

> This woman just wants to go out now and then
> and have sex with somebody -- one person, not
> a stranger every night.

What makes you think so?

Working only with the scenario described in your blog post...

What makes you think she isn't completely disinterested in sexual contacts, and just looking for a guy who she can talk to about about sitcoms and local events?

…What makes you think she isn't interested in a flurry of one nighters, as if "serious right now" meant fidelity and commitment?

Knowing what people mean when they say things like
"Not Looking For Anything Serious Right Now..." is difficult without eye contact. It depends.

But many women, in my memory at least, seemed desperate for the next adventure, whether grand or trivial.

Crid,

"But many women, in my memory at least, seemed desperate for the next adventure, whether grand or trivial."

Well said. Having said that accurately, why not enjoy giving and sharing that adventure with them? I love to do that. While you're at it, make it the grand kind.

Maybe guys tend to fall for her quickly and this is her way of getting them to slow down, before they even get started.

As has already been said multiple times, perhaps she just wants some good company and good sex without any expectations or strings attached.

Moving away from this particular girl, addressing the question in general, maybe... "not looking for anything serious" ...is code for hookers seeking clients on dating sites.

"slut" (a stupid, sexist, word)

Nope. A blunt descriptor of a particular feminine type.

Urban Dictionary's first two entries:

1. Slut - A woman with the morals of a man.

2. Slut - Someone who provides a very needed service for the community and sleeps with everyone, even the guy that has no shot at getting laid and everyone knows it.

You have to love the UD. :)

(Cridmo, we still on for our summertime tryst?)

o.O

This woman just wants to go out now and then and have sex with somebody -- one person, not a stranger every night.

Got pics? And is she near Phx?

The male commenters on here are so funny, Mary too :)

I think Amy & whistle dick nailed it. I'm female and this pretty much describes my approach to relationships except they happened organically, I wasn't online dating. Sometimes they turned serious, sometimes only one of us wanted more, and sometimes one or both of us got bored and we went our separate ways or remained friends.

But the goal has always been regular sex with someone who's company I enjoy. I guess I fall under UD's first definition of slut-I'll take it.