21 Days To Good Manners
My science-based, funny manners advice book, "Good Manners For Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck," will be out on June 3.
Here's an excerpt from the first chapter, "I Don't Care Where You Put the Fork (as long as you don't stab anybody in the eye with it)," that tells a little bit about it:
The good news is, we can dial back the rudeness and change the way we all relate to one another, and we really need to, before rudeness becomes any more of a norm. That's why I've written this book, a manners book for regular people. The term "nice people who sometimes say f*ck" describes people (like me and maybe you) who are well-meaning but imperfect, who sometimes lose their cool but try to be better the next time around, who sometimes swear (and maybe even enjoy it) but take care not to do it around anybody's great-aunt or four-year-old.
The book focuses not just on explaining human behavior and how we can stop ourselves from being rude but on how we can stop other people from taking advantage of us and everybody else -- sometimes, with proactive measures.
The book chapters include a chapter on the science behind stopping the rude; and Communicating; The Neighborhood; The Telephone; The Internet; Dating; Going Places (cars, sidewalks, public transportation, and airplanes); Eating, Drinking, Socializing; Friends with Serious Illnesses (What to do when a friend is really, really sick and could maybe even die); The Apology; and, finally, Trickle-Down Humanity -- a non-sappy chapter on how to make the world a better place.
Over the next 21 days, I'll post some quotes from the book.
Please consider pre-ordering. The book is discounted from the $14.99 retail price to only $9.48 at Amazon and $9.67 at Barnes & Noble.
Pre-orders help give the book "heat." (Also, every time you pre-order a copy, a kitten lives and my electricity stays on for another 20 minutes!)
I'm suspicious and paranoid, and often assume the worse of people, which can result in being nasty. I think I'm getting better, though. I keep reminding myself that most people WANT to be friendly, and most people go into situations hoping the other person is nice and friendly, so I try to be that nice and friendly other person. It's hard though, because I think I'm naturally kind of a bitch.
NicoleK at May 13, 2014 7:22 AM
Interesting, NicoleK, but at least you have some self-knowledge. I emphasize in the book that I don't have perfect manners (and, in fact, am kind of a hothead). I just try to identify where I suck as a human so I can make an effort to do better. And I have improved on a number of fronts.
What I do in a bunch of places in the book is explain what our impulse is (impulse to act, that is), explain why that probably is per the science, and then use that as a way to explain what's probably a wiser and more effective option.
Amy Alkon at May 13, 2014 12:57 PM
Considered annnnd ... done.
Jeff Guinn at May 15, 2014 12:14 AM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2014/05/21-days-to-good.html#comment-4631224">comment from Jeff GuinnThank you so much, Jeff! (Jeff is actually *in* the book -- and not as a rude person...quite the opposite.)
Amy Alkon
at May 15, 2014 5:23 AM
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