Wish I lived close enough to attend! Any chance you will be touring?

Say you are behind a cellboor clearly hearing his conversation. You are uncomfortably distracted.

Why not ask questions and give him advice? He is sharing is life with you, why not share back?

What's wrong with knowing how to set the table? As Miss Manners said: "Doesn't everyone eat?"

It's not about snobbery, any more than is expecting your guests - or hosts - to chew with their mouths closed. (Small children will, of course, petulantly disagree with this - not only does it make chewing more difficult for them, but they don't even get thanked by the other person for their hard work. Someone pointed out that for kids, learning manners is akin to the housewife's lament; no one notices when her house is clean; they only notice if it's not. Even so, the work has to be done.)

Not to mention that if you don't know certain widespread Western traditions, you could easily find yourself using a utensil that belongs to the guest next to you - such as a wineglass.

Here's MM's eloquent explanation as to why defiance, ineptitude, and ignorance are not cute (from 1991):

http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1817&dat=19911110&id=8TUdAAAAIBAJ&sjid=rqUEAAAAIBAJ&pg=6817,2447107

First line (uttered by a fictional character):

"I can never remember which fork to use."

Be sure to check out the last paragraph, if nothing else.

As long as he's using his inside voice, I don't care if the guy in front of me in line is talking to his cellphone or a tin can tied to a string. And while I'd prefer he say something interesting, I can always read a magazine if listening to him bores me.

Just please, don't talk to the girl at the register and slow her down. And put the phone down when it's time to swipe your card.

I think knowing the formal rules is more important when one is a guest than when one is a host. As a host, your guests are likely to be personal friends, so it's not that important to impress them. It's very different when you're a guest at some formal dinner that may well be your path to a better career. One does not want to look clumsy and ignorant by, say, drinking from the finger bowl, if there is one. (It's for rinsing your fingers between courses - though I have to admit I don't know why your fingers would get dirty, since it's hard to imagine that, say, corn-on-the-cob would get served at a formal dinner.)

As the well-known travel writer Roger Axtell wrote about visiting certain other countries (especially when on business trips) "Behave as if you were calling on a rich old auntie." That, of course, includes learning other countries' table manners, tiresome though it may be - or you'll regret not doing so.

Examples:

In parts of China, "always leave some food in your dish to indicate that your host was so generous you could not possibly finish....the last course is often plain boiled rice - which you should refuse! To eat it signifies you are still hungry and is an insult to the host."

And:

"In Britain, for instance, as soon as the day is done, so is business, and nothing will turn your hosts off faster than continuing shoptalk over drinks and dinner."

As long as he's using his inside voice, I don't care if the guy in front of me in line is talking to his cellphone or a tin can tied to a string.

Rex, same here. If someone was talking loudly to a friend with them, I'd find that more annoying that someone speaking quietly on a cell phone.

Amy, I'm curious; what bothers you most...is it people talking loudly on cell phones, or the fact that they're talking on cell phones?