"self-imposed cover charge" ... I like that.

While I probably don't average one per day, I try to do little things for people. As just one example, whenever I have a lot of things at a checkout stand and see someone behind me with just one or two items, I tell them to go ahead. It's just a small courtesy but, without fail, people are very appreciative.

In return for one kind act a day, I wish we allowed to vaporize one SUV(or pickup)-driving jerk each day.

I cover this subject quite a bit in the final chapter of my book. It's actually good for us (benefits us in a number of ways) to be good. It feels good, and people others have been kind to tend to be more inclined to do kind acts themselves.

Try the above -- doing one kind act a day -- for a week or two, and see what happens and how you feel. And, per Sonja Lyubomirsky's research, for this to be most effective, don't just do the same cookie-cutter act daily; do what's needed in a situation.

One of the chapters I'm proudest of in this book is the last chapter, "Trickle-Down Humanity," which basically is about extending yourself for others and the benefits of that -- for each of us, personally, and for all of us. I promise it's not sappy, either! And it draws on the work of some very inspiring people.

Oh, and as you'll see from the Communicating chapter, jerks come in all sorts of vehicles -- sometimes, bright blue VW Bugs with bud vases.

I ran a food bank for 7 years, pretty much destroyed what empathy I had for the "poor"

And charities that claim to help the poor

Oh, and as you'll see from the Communicating chapter, jerks come in all sorts of vehicles...

Oh, I know they're not limited to SUVs and pickup trucks but, in my experience, those are the usual offenders.

It could be that jerks are drawn to larger vehicles or it could be that being in a larger vehicle gives a person a feeling of power & entitlement and, therefore, they drive more aggressively. Or a combination of both.

I've been in a motor chair for several months, recovering from a spine injury. It has given me new perspective.
I've been cheered by so many small kindnesses of strangers: opening non-auto doors so I can enter a store, helping access store coolers/freezers(extremely awkward), bringing something down from a top shelf, retrieving an item that I have fumbled, or helping with the 20lb dog food bag.

So go forth and do a small kindness. It doesn't take much - as Amy says "Do what's needed." which is often a small small thing. So many strangers have put forth small efforts that have lessened my pain and frustration considerably and I am grateful to each one. I hope it makes them feel good as well.

JD, I'm a petite woman who drives an elderly Lincoln Town Car. (I admit that I adore her.) But I was driving a Ford Festiva before I married my 6'7" husband. I got tired of using the Jaws of Life to extract him from it.

Perhaps we are an exception that proves the rule, but there are some who have valid reasons for driving their behemoths. Please don't vaporize me!

I had part of my lung removed while in the army, somehow on return form medical leave some idiot assumed my return from leave was my in processing date leading the computers to believe that I owed the US government over a year salary.

I got it fixed before being discharged, after my discharge I was informed that the guy who invalidate my debt did so without proper authorization, I asked why that argument couldnt have been used about the guy who created the debt.

It eventually got fixed with the intercession of a couple of senators, but until it did my paychecks were being garnished by the government to the point I couldnt afford groceries.

My local VFW ran a food bank distribution point for St Marys, so I stared using that.

Once a month, had to pay a week in advance and a truck would drop off the boxes. $10 or $15 for upto 15lbs of food. 7 or 8 in assorted meats the rest in non perishables dropped off.

The husband of the lady running it got cancer, and she was going to drop it, no one else volunteered to let us take it over, so I did.

I let a few other know, dropped off some flyers at about 20 trailer parks and within a month we had gone from 10 people once a month to more than 100 twice a month.

At which point the VFW invited us to leave. Apparently cutting into early afternoon drinking twice a month by 45 minutes was to big a fucking hassle for their members. (Which is why I tell them to fuck off when they call asking for donations)

Thankfully a nearby church allowed us to use their parking lot, and over the years as we expanded let us us their chairs and tables and store about 50 shopping carts in a room they never used.

We got to the point where they were sending out a rig full of produce and on our worst day you could get a whole shopping cart full of fruits and veggies for free with the $10 box. On our best days if you wanted to take a portion of everything available you could have as many as FIVE carts full of food with the $10 box.

The reason I dont care much for charities is the way I stopped running the food bank. St Marys cut a deal with the two other major charities in town. The end result being they promised to stop serving our area. By this time we had for years had a semi coming out to our spot and twice a month and served several hundred families. So they sent out the rig on the wrong day, and then claimed no one was there. They failed to send out the rig on the right day and tried to reschedule for the middle of the afternoon on a weekday.

The cancelled service on the grounds that there wasnt enough demand. Leaving the closest food bank more than 20 miles away, all for a slightly higher share of federal assistance funds. And to engender a situation where that small food bank would be the sole provider for an area 5 times larger than it previously had, so that the next year it would qualify for even more federal funds, a large portion of which they used to "pay" St Marys to "help" them cover their area. (Which is why I now tell St Marys representatives to fuck off when they call asking for donations).

As for why I have little sympathy for the poor?

"Its too hot"
"Its too cold"
"Its too sunny"
"Why do I have to wait in line"
"This (free) coffee isnt good enough"
"Why cant I go in the church and sit down"
"Why do I have to wait until everyone has gone thru to get extra"
"I dont want that, why cant I have extra _____"
"I dont want people to know I need help, can you buy it for me and then drop it by my house later tonight"
"I cant use this much [give some to a friend in need] I dont want them to know I use this service"
"It isnt fair that the $15 dollar box has more food in it than the $10 box"

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, non stop bitching about everything as though I controlled the weather. The homeless guy living in the city park had more manners and decorum than 80% of the people who came thru that line.

Doing something kind or thoughtful takes very little effort and doesn't have to cost you anything other than a smile or a kind word. I try to do something every day, but recently I had one that made me feel pretty damn good and all I did was wheel a woman's suitcase to the right hospital floor. She was trying to drag the suitcase and she was using a walker. Turns out she was being admitted to begin chemo for brain cancer. I found out that she was single, and had no family and was going through this ordeal by herself. This woman was so appreciative for that small favor, she started crying - she couldn't believe that I had taken the time to assist her. I made it a point to stop by and see her every day while visiting my mom.

I sometimes irritate Bible thumpers by insisting that the highest calling one can answer is the unheralded sacrifice for another.

Those who can live by the book without beating people with it get the point, though.

I irritate Bible thumpers by asking if they'ed be interested in acting out the 60 man gang bang in the Song of Soloman