No sympathy. First I'm betting the reason girl two has boyfriends is she either is cool with her weight and has a magnetic personality, or she puts out like a change machine.

People can be skinny if they want to, they either dont care to do the work, or they dont care to do the research. Either way, they dont really care.

The girls young enough for these magazines might research, but they can't do the grocery shopping, luj.

> I never recommend dieting (which usually doesn't work), but I do urge girls to meet friends for walks, not pizza. To drink water, not sugary soda. To try to eat smaller portions and less processed food

I love when people diss "dieting" for "not working" in the same breath that they recommend - a change of diet. I've seen people criticize low-carb with 'it didn't work because I put the weight back on when I went off it'.

You're always "on" a diet - whatever you're eating now is the "diet you're on". I think people conceptualize "dietING" as a temporary deviation from an unhealthier baseline 'normal' diet that they plan to return to - but if you plan on going back to eating in the way that caused you to become overweight, then of course you're going to put weight on again. I guess what she meant in her own way is that they should make permanent changes to their diet.

I have some sympathy for overweight people in that it is difficult to maintain weight in our society, for various reasons - a.o. we're constantly surrounded by poor food choices, and the government's formal advice (and that of most nutritionists, and even many doctors) is also incorrect. But with a moderate amount of 'better advice' and a moderate amount of discipline, it becomes much easier.

She's right about "fat acceptance", I think it's inane.

It's pretty darn difficult to lose weight and live weight, even if you know "the answer" and have access to the food you should be eating.

Did we all enjoy #BanBossy?

The new viral campaign #LikeAGirl brought to us by Always will literally have you in tears, that is if you have any humanity in you at all. At all.

"Always’ New #LikeAGirl Campaign Will Bring You To Tears"

http://www.buzzfeed.com/candacelowry/this-emotional-compaign-aims-revolutionizes-the-phrase-like

https://www.google.com/search?q=likeagirl

Regretfully, it didn't work for me except to note the language and pc police are out in force.

We even have people who call themselves "nutritionists" overtly promoting obesity:
http://www.fatnutritionist.com/
She used to do Skype sessions where for a fee she would, I presume, tell you it's OK to eat what you want when you want and to "trust your body" (as that's what she advises on her websites). Major newsmedia outlets constantly run articles glorifying obesity and the "real women" campaign seeks to normalize the ravages of decades of unhealthy modern junk food on our bodies. We're constantly worked into a moral panic about "eating disorders" but obesity kills orders of magnitude more people than eating disorders. And then there's Michelle Obama going around promoting the government's bad advice. This is what parents (who want to keep their kids a healthy weight) are up against .. it's practically a war on skinniness on out there.

Healthy is beautiful. Focus on health and everything else usually falls into place.

I have spent the majority of my life obese and morbidly so for a good portion thereof. The idea of "fat acceptance" sickens me. My overweight was a sign of a failing on my part but I never considered it a moral failing as I would had I "accepted" my condition. That isn't "acceptance," it's *giving up.*
As it is, Amy (bless you, bless you, bless you) put me onto the work of Gary Taubes and I saw in his writing *precisely* what I had been dealing with through my entire life. I have since gone low carb and weight has come off me without pain and in the most delicious way. I've not been perfect of course and I have to knock off another 60 lbs or so but as long as I don't allow myself "indulgences" (ice cream will slay me), the weight can come off startlingly fast.
I expect to hit my goal weight around the end of the year. But "accept" the condition that has caused me all sorts of health problems over my life? Oh HELL no. And damn anyone who thinks that's the smart thing to do.

My main thing in dealing with food, and in instructing my own kids and those that I have influence over, is just MODERATION. I live in the Deep South and I'm sorry but it's not gonna happen that we're gonna be eating kale with anything anytime soon. I eat what I want, I just don't eat a lot of anything anymore. Seems to be working for all of us just fine. What on earth do we need massive fries with every burger? Why does a lunch time portion at Red Lobster have enough pasta for 2 meals (maybe 3)? That's the real problem, in my opinion. Oversized portions are the norm and we've been taught to clear our plates or to have dessert with every meal. Geeez.

Actually, the research shows that fat-shaming and exposure to negative attitudes towards fat causes people who perceive themselves as fat (and most fat people know they are fat) to eat MORE and gain weight.

Fat acceptance may not cause people to lose weight, but it may stop them from gaining more. Damage control might be the best bet in most cases.

Ironically, on people who don't perceive themselves to be fat, fat-shaming prevents them from eating more.

See a similar article from last October by Katy Waldman: "You Might Not Be Beautiful the Way You Are."

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/10/02/nyc_girls_project_bloomberg_s_worthwhile_self_esteem_campaign_for_girls.html

Excerpt:

"This initiative gets so many things right. But to pick a nit, what’s with the slogan? As Kat Stoeffel at the Cut notes, 'There’s something slightly contradictory about the NYC Girls Project message— "Don’t worry about how you look. You look beautiful!" ' Isn’t the point of the program to encourage girls to disassociate their sense of worth from their physical appearance? Why couldn’t the slogan simply be, 'I’m Awesome the Way I Am?' ".....

"...For some girls, the slogan 'I’m Beautiful the Way I Am' is a lie. And surely, all else being equal, most of us would rather be beautiful than not. But all else being equal, I would also rather have 20/20 vision or a black belt in karate. Society’s solution for people like me is not to say, 'You are perfectly-sighted/skilled in martial arts just the way you are.' Why? Because needing glasses or lacking karate chops are not horrible, soul-destroying hardships that butcher our chances for happiness in life. That physical appearance does make such a difference in others’ perceptions of us (with all kinds of professional, legal, and interpersonal repercussions) only underscores why it’s important to rein in subjective beauty standards as arbiters of worth...."

(end of excerpts)

Trouble is, Waldman (and Stoeffel) only get it half right. That is, no, kids are NOT awesome the way they are, just as a great many adults are not - even after you take away the convicted criminals. If they were, what need would there be for them to change as they grow up so other adults won't think of them as immature? I.e., while some kids are unpopular for very unfair reasons, other kids DESERVE to be unpopular and need to change - and those 12-year-olds who are popular for the right reasons as well as being straight-A students are still not allowed to drive, vote, marry, or do any number of things without parental permission - and for good reason. How "awesome" is that?

To put it another way, maybe it's time we stopped the embarrassing American habit of trying to exaggerate everything in life when it's just phony - and we especially should stop flattering kids for qualities they don't really have. Complimenting them for working hard - IF they really did the best they could - is one thing. Telling them to keep cheerfully busy so they will at least appear socially confident is good too. So is loving your own kids unconditionally. Implying that they deserve to be popular when they're just boring and ordinary (and socially lazy) is another thing altogether. (Same goes for boring and ordinary adults, of course - they don't deserve to be popular with other adults either.)

Are they heavy and kick-ass fit but naturally heavy, or just blobs of overfed jell-o?

> Actually, the research shows that fat-shaming and exposure to negative attitudes towards fat causes people who perceive themselves as fat

But is pointing out e.g. that obesity kills an estimated 100,000 Americans per annum "fat-shaming"?

> Trouble is, Waldman (and Stoeffel) only get it half right. That is, no, kids are NOT awesome the way they are

I have a colleague who believes this kind of attitude contributed to Roger Elliot becoming so bitter and snapping - instead of acknowledging his own flaws and working on them, he believed himself to be awesome, and therefore in his mind, his inability to get a girlfriend was everyone else's fault.

> "You Might Not Be Beautiful the Way You Are."

As a bit of a computer nerd I would love to believe that being pale and thin should make me look good "as I am" to women - alas, I'm not so demented as to believe that. Nor do I expect that we should try redefine society's "standard of beauty" by pressureing women to try think pale skinny computer nerds are good-looking.

I wonder how many feminists who go on and on about redefining our standard of beauty would consider trying to redefine their own sense of what they find good-looking in a man to include short overweight bald men and pale skinny computer nerds, and not guys like Matthew McConaughey.

> Summer is here, and a few camps are banning
> talk about appearances ("Where Mirrors Don't
> Rule," ThursdayStyles, June 19). Seems like
> a good idea.

It "Seems like a good idea."

Are you motherfucking kidding me?

Say it to my face.

> Healthy is beautiful. Focus on health and
> everything else usually falls into place.
>
> Posted by: Jen at June 29, 2014 7:06 AM

That's horribly, unforgivably wrong.

You need to do some reading if you're going to make comments like that about the world you live in.

Let me recommend your first book.

Lobster, I bet I would have dated you.

To clarify a bit more (though I doubt most people here need it), I should have said:

...those 12-year-olds who are popular for the right reasons as well as being straight-A students are still not allowed to drive, vote, marry, or do any number of things without parental permission - and for good reason. How "awesome" would you be if you were an adult and STILL clearly incompetent and untrustworthy to do all those things?

> I bet I would have dated you.

Sosij's larger intentions are unclear in this moment; so for now, that's possibly the harshest blog comment slamdown of all time.

Sin.

SSSSSSSSinnnnnAAAAAAAAPPPPP!

Crid - you ain't right for that

Okay.

I don't know what that means, though.

Slang term that means you shouldn't have said that, but it was funny.

Sosij's larger intentions are unclear in this moment; so for now, that's possibly the harshest blog comment slamdown of all time.

It does have a "you're nice enough, Hillary" ring to it, doesnt' it?

"Why does a lunch time portion at Red Lobster have enough pasta for 2 meals (maybe 3)? "

Another Southern denizen here... and yeah, I think it's a particularly Southern cultural thing that if we're paying more than $5 or so for it, we feel like we're getting ripped off if the portion isn't generous. America the bountiful food basket -- that's of course quite preferable to the alternative, but we do need to use it responsibly, so to speak. I find that a lot of restaurant portions fall into that awkward zone: it's too much to eat at one sitting, but not enough to make it worth the trouble to take the leftovers home.

"But is pointing out e.g. that obesity kills an estimated 100,000 Americans per annum "fat-shaming"?"

For the purposes of the study I'm thinking of, yes, the women who considered themselves overweight who were exposed to an article about the negative effects of being overweight ate more M&Ms than the ones who were exposed to an article about the negative effects of smoking.

Unfortunately, you'd think that you could scold people into losing weight, but it doesn't work that way. It'd be awesome if it did. We'd be a very skinny nation.

The same study, as I said, showed the opposite effect on women who didn't perceive themselves as overweight, suggesting you CAN scold people into staying thin.

What's the solution? I dunno, tell thin people about the negative effects of being overweight, and focus more on small changes for fat people?

Another Southern denizen here... and yeah, I think it's a particularly Southern cultural thing that if we're paying more than $5 or so for it, we feel like we're getting ripped off if the portion isn't generous.

Or as the old joke goes "well, the food isn't that great but at least the portions are large."

This applies to the Midwest as well.

> I think it's a particularly Southern
> cultural thing

Does the South's heritage of poverty count for anything here?

It came to mind a lot when I lived in North Florida... Restaurants weren't pretentious, but no matter how modest the seafood shack or burger counter, they always promised a good VOLUME of food on your plate. Because the history of the region was about hunger much more than indulgence, it always seemed forgivable, even as the patrons were getting larger.

"Does the South's heritage of poverty count for anything here?"

Quite possibly. There is a strong thing in the culture that you don't let food go to waste. And back in the days before refrigeration, pretty much the only way to accomplish that was to make sure you ate everything that was prepared.

Exactly. They seriously meant that you were supposed to clean your plate. Leftovers were always kept, and you ate up because there was that sense that a day may come when you didn't have that next meal. I've spent a lot of time in the nursing home lately and oh my gosh at the foraging of food those seniors still do. It's just a hard habit from another time.

I also think that there is something to having learned to cook and eat a certain way and not being able to vary much from that. I wish I could say I know how to cook that Mediterranean diet that seems to add 50 years to your life, but alas, I still use bacon grease to fry my eggs because to not use it is a WASTE OF GOOD GREASE and it's what I learned to do. Baaaah. Old habits die hard.

, "but alas, I still use bacon grease to fry my eggs because to not use it is a WASTE OF GOOD GREASE and it's what I learned to do. Baaaah. Old habits die hard.

Posted by: gooseegg at June 30, 2014 2:47 PM

Eat the eggs cooked in bacon grease. Chuck the toast.