Well that's a fat load of bullshit. Shower, shave (yeah just like for women it's optional except you can wear pants, ski masks are a little different) if we haven't had a cut in a while probably get that, clean cloths. For many of us this also involves cleaning the house (cause shit you never know), having the car done (even girls that love the idea that I rescue would not want to be in my car after a transport). Unless you are going for the pin up look most of that time is spent fighting your insecurities or being dramatic not getting ready. If a blow out bar can do it in 15-20 minutes then so can you, or like taking our car to the wash pop by one of these earlier in the day.

Yeah, but sometimes when I shake off though, I get whacked in the eye.

I have to keep repeating, side to side like a dog, side to side like a dog.

It's bad form, however, to lift your leg and pee on a tree on a first date.

Amy,

I was going to order a Nook copy of your new book, but my sweetie used to read your column when he was deployed, and I think he'd get a kick out of a signed copy. Can you do the penis thing with a Dear Sailor, heading? I know you're super busy, so no worries if you're swamped.

Mel

I misread the first time.

For some reason, I thought you had pre-signed a bunch of copies and left them at this particular location.

Sorry, and thanks!

It's bad form, however, to lift your leg and pee on a tree on a first date. ~ Posted by: jerry at June 5, 2014 10:24 AM

Sniffin' her ass doesn't go over real well either.

A woman has to look nice. The guy has to setup the entire date. I personally would rather do all the primping girls do than all the date setup stuff.

Sniffin' her ass doesn't go over real well either.

True, unless you met her through buttnose.com

Thanks Amy!

I submitted an order and received a nice email confirmation from Mia!

Sniffin' her ass doesn't go over real well either.

Yeah. Besides, you may get a whiff of something not grapeshot and you may be able to skip dinner.

And desert. Wut?

Mel, thank you so much! I'm going over on Saturday afternoon, assuming my other appointment doesn't run over, and I'll sign then.

Amy, just wanted to tell you how much I LOVE the line about how, for women, staying blonde is about as expensive as having a car payment. All too true! (Especially when other hair-upkeep expenses are added to that…)