"My Uber got pulled over by the Denver police — and then things got really weird"

http://www.geekwire.com/2014/hey-denver-police-harrass-riding-uber/

Please trust me on this… I am a professional.

No matter who you are, no matter what you make of your life...

No matter what miracles you bring into the world, no matter which blessings of the natural order you are so privileged to witness...

If you make a video about them, leave out the music.

Because your taste in music sucks.

Ruins it. (Almost, very nearly.)

Sometimes, your the means of your salvation will present itself with a vomitlike, seemingly sarcastic gesture.

Sexual reproduction, because [choose one]:

☐ High hips

☐ Tumblin' jumblies

☐ Youthful cheer

☑ All of the above

Crid, what is going on? You did it again. Your at 12:26pm. Or, is my one eye deceiving me?

Eh, I bungled the typing. Shoulda been: Sometimes, the means of your salvation will present themselves with a vomitlike, seemingly sarcastic gesture.