Amy, I try to do this on a regular basis. Too often I find that when you say "hello" to some people they are stumped for a response. Have you run into that in Europe?

No! Leave me alone!

I'm a bitter bachelor! Grrrr! Kids! Skateboards! Prop-er tee!

Besides, most women look all butthurt and rapey-scared when you talk to 'em like that.

Jay,

I have found that Europeans consider Americans really friendly, and when to come to our parts their often a little taken aback by how we talk to strangers, and customers.

Same with Asians (they find us overly friendly).

Latin-Americans find us cold.

Grew up in rural Virginia and am now in West Texas. Saying "Hi" (or nodding your head) to a person you have made eye contact with is just good manners.

On country roads and in the neighborhood you wave (small) at the car passing by.

Obviously not done in a crowded environment so maybe that's what's going on.

When I was living in NYC, I was glad most people didn't say hello. I passed countless people every day. Acknowledging all of them would have been exhausting.

Amy, when I said they were stumped for a response I was being sarcastic. I meant that some people you nod or say hello to just totally ignore it. Maybe a lack of social skills.

"Same with Asians (they find us overly friendly)."

Correctamundo.

I would say that biggest culture shock I had in U.S. was the easy hellos between strangers. Most Asians would avoid eye contacts among strangers.

I have a theory that why Americans would like to say hello and shake hands with strangers. Asians will bow to each other instead when introduced for the first time.

I think it is because this country was once lawless Wild Wild West without central government protection. So, if you were a farmer two hundred years ago here, most likely you will have a shot gun handy near you while you are plowing the field.

If you were a traveling to California from Maine two hundred years ago, you would say hello to the farmer as soon as you saw him. Also, you will raise your hand to show it is empty. The two will eventually shake right hands to ensure there are no guns in their hands.

Don't get me wrong. I like American culture of being friendly to strangers. But I do think it came from the fear that the farmer will not shoot you in the head as soon as he saw you.

Getting lessons from the French on how to be nice is like getting lessons from Henry VIII on how to be a devoted husband.

> But I do think it came from the fear
> that the farmer will not shoot you in
> the head as soon as he saw you.

As opposed to the chieftains of Mahan along the Geum, who, in the middle ages, were renowned for blowing strangers?

Who exactly is your gold standard, Chang?

"But I do think it came from the fear that the farmer will not shoot you in the head as soon as he saw you."

Wow. Not only is the "Wild West" Hollywood fiction, the handshake predates the USA by centuries. It's not an environment of fear at all; you made that up.

Maybe you haven't noticed this, but persons outside the USA are subjects, while this nation's basic concept is that the citizen is in charge (yeah, yeah, I know they're giving that away, etc., etc.).

People in charge acknowledge each other. Those in subservience don't.

Amy - I agree that it is a great way to make the world a little better place. However, I don't know why you think it is a Parisian thing. Almost every where I have been in the US, this is the standard mode of operation - a quick hi, nod of recognition, or " How's it going" happen to me every day. Maybe LA is a cold lonely place, but here in New Jersey, we greet strangers every day. Oh, we also hold the door for each other when going into and out of stores.

I agree with BobN, this is standard pretty much throughout the US. I have lived on both coasts and a few places in the middle and most Americans are very nice people who will greet you with a hello. Probably the nicest people I have ever met live in Oklahoma, but people here in Texas seem okay too.

For the record, I always greet the cashier and more importantly, stay OFF my phone while checking out in store. It is rude to have conversation while checking out. The person behind the register is not robot or a servant and it is rude to treat them as such.

"As opposed to the chieftains of Mahan along the Geum, who, in the middle ages, were renowned for blowing strangers?"

Anybody, we call heroes or great leaders. Genghis Khan, Alexander, the Great, Caesar, Napoleon.... They were all "renowned for blowing strangers."

"Who exactly is your gold standard, Chang?"

In the spirit of July 4th, I would say that Thomas Jefferson, who wrote that "All men are created equal".

But we both know that after he wrote the passage he went home to eat supper prepared by slaves and fucked some slave girls, who could not say she got headaches that night.

Why do you think that was allowed to happen? My guess is that it is because the slaves were not armed. Had Sally Hemings armed herself with Colt 45, Jefferson would have been forced to make eye contacts with Sally. Then, say hello, smile, prepare dinner, give her a diamond ring, kiss, marry and fuck in that more civilized order we expect from the gentlemen in 1776.

None of the above happened because when two strangers met for the first time, one was armed and the other was not. Then, the friendly greeting was not necessary anymore. If you don't believe me, just ask any American Indians.

Anyway, don't get me wrong. I like Thomas Jefferson. But it needs a little revision. "All men are created equal." and Colonel Colt will help you keep it that way.

These are cartoon expressions. Raddy nailed it: You give the impression of a spoiled child, one terrified to think that he might need to feel gratitude to someone for something.

The cowardice of immigrants is a problem nowadays. It's weird how they're ashamed to admit they're coming here to get their needs met.

"The cowardice of immigrants is a problem nowadays. It's weird how they're ashamed to admit they're coming here to get their needs met."

Bullshit.

This is the country I CHOSE to live while you hit the DNA lottery. What have you done to be an American? I did something to be an American and am proud of it. How about you?

The sight of Golden Gate keeps reminding me that "All men are created equal". No one is allowed to be above or below the bridge. Keep yourself on the bridge all the times just like anyone else.

Crid, you are very special person. There is just only one like you in this entire world. But don't forget the rest of 7 billion are equally special like yourself.

> I did something to be an American

I doubt it.

> you are very special person

It's true.

And "special" is a meaningful demonstration of discrimination on your part, one you shouldn't be so childishly eager to retract.

Human souls are not bouncing around in big glass ball on a Saturday Night game of chance, looking for a chute down to the surface of our planet from the buffeting of celestial indifference.

I've quoted the Civil War diary of my great-great-grandfather, one of the dozens of Americans in my family whose character and clarity made this country what it is, and who then brought me into this place, and into the nourishing shelter of their discipline and understanding, in a deliberate and thoughtful way. To describe it as a "genetic lottery" is pathetic. This is anything but a gamble: America is indisputably the product, the BEST product, of human will.

When imagining the feudal life of 17th century Korea, I'm pretty sure you'd have preferred slaveholding America... On either side of the whip.

Don't kid yourself, Muffin. Being here isn't the magic. Being American is the magic.

Yet your commitment seems deeply qualified....

Also, I agree with Amy and the others... L.A.'s reputation for shallow charm is mostly fiction.

The people I've met in NYC, no matter how gruff in early encounters, were never any less socially needy after they because comfortable at the the table, the pew, the taxi-seat or the pillow.

(And they were no less likely to demand gratuitous courtesies than anyone in the Ozarks or the deep South.)