http://www.amazon.com/Winning-Mind-3rd-Ed-ebook/dp/B004XD1M20/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1408636535&sr=1-1&keywords=with+winning+in+mind

With Winning in Mind by Lanny Bassham.

I don't think there are any grand strategies out there, but for my sport, I found this book very helpful.

"My Enduring Hatred of the Self-Help Mentality," by Peter Claspy-Binderbuns, © 1988, Putnam & Sons.
Spring for the hardback... They left the illustrations out of the softcover.

"Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking," by Susan Cain.

I didn't mean to ruin it. I'm just always cranked by the title "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem." Trees gave their lives....

Shakespeare helps a lot. Honest.

Self-efficacy!

> Shakespeare helps a lot.

I went with Gould. William will always be with us.

"How to Sell Anything to Anybody" by a car salesman named Joe Girard. I sold appliances, for more than 25 years, and this book helped me be a better salesman. Simple advice, from someone who's sold for a living, and became really good after a slow start. He's not much of a writer, which makes the book all the better, because it comes off as authentic. Highly recommended.

"Six Pillars of Esteem" is the only one of those I have heard of. I read some back in my 20s about dating and confidence, etc.

They all fall into 1 of 2 categories.
1. "Fake it til you make it" basically fake having confidence and people will start treating you like you have confidence and then you will gain a bit of confidence and less faking, more real...spiral to high confidence. I never found this to work...perhaps I couldn't fake it well enough

2. Do thinks that you will suceed with just a bit of challenge...then another slightly more challenging ...evently you will have confidence and self esteem. I found I had these things until it came to dating...because I didn't do well there.

I have recently been trying to find a book a read on a bit different topic. It was something like a Mathematicians guide to scheduling. The reason is I am having trouble making schedules that I can actually keep...I think this because I have to do some much driving and that time various so much because of traffic. It was a bit helpful before...though much like this it said you just need to reduce the things you are trying to do.

Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends and Influence People. Effective Negotiating - Chester Karrass. This last one came from a seminar my former company sent me to that helped me beat thousands of dollars out of software vendors.

Dr. Robert Glover - No More Mr Nice Guy

Don't be put off by the book title! All men should read this.

http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

"Dealing with People You Can't Stand, Revised and Expanded Third Edition: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst" by Dr Rick Brinkman and Dr Rick Kirschner.

I have read and re-read this book for years, it helps me to not only communicate effectively with my difficult people (I include my teenagers in that group), but it also helps me identify when I'm being difficult for someone else so that I can dial it back.

Funny that you should ask this now, I just finished reading it.(again)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0085W9K5Q/ref=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o01_?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I forgot about Dale Carnegie,,, One of my employers sent me to their class based on the book as a trial. I found it very simplistic and while the ideas made sense in the book/class in real life they didn't work -- and even in class some times. It felt like it made the assumption people were fairly gullible/naive/ something like that.

For example, one teacher was talking and presented an option to the class and what she thought the class should do. The other then said something. A few minutes later they revealed it was demonstration of some technique about dis-agreeing without seeming disagreeable. On person asked, she thought the second had agreed with the first, what the class thought. BY a show of hands all but one thought the second had agreed with the first. Exactly the opposite of what the second intended to communicate.

At work we had an issue where we need a few hours of work from a different group but the other group was saying it was way too low of a priority for them to get it done. So I used the Carnegie groups consultation which came with the class...they were not able to help...just to say our company was screwed up (that was obvious).

Late to the party, but -

(1 & 2)
The Civility Solution: What To Do When People Are Rude, by P.M. Forni.

I was about a third of the way through Carnegie's "How To Win Friends..." when I realized I don't want more friends/ to be nicer - I want to know how to deal with idiots without becoming a flaming asshole. The Civility Solution offers great advice that goes a long way. His preceeding book, Choosing Civility, is also good. They're both short, and quick reads.

(3)
Mark Goulston's book, Just Listen. Thank you Amy for your interview of the author - it is why I bought the book. I revisit the interview when I need a refresher for particularly charged situations.

What I've learned in those three books helps me discern when the problem is me, someone else, or situational (low blood sugar, too tired, late in the day) and have more confidence in the right course of action.

Books on writing have also helped.

(4)
Ralph Keyes' "The Courage to Write: How Writers Transcend Fear" gets at the same ground Brene Brown covers in Daring Greatly, regarding the considerations around being vulnerable. From page 184:

...I asked a prizefighter-turned-comedian which profession felt more dangerous. "Oh, comedy," the man said without hesitating. "By far."

"But you could die in the boxing ring," I pointed out.
"You can die up on stage," he replied. "I've seen it happen many times."
"But you can get up in the morning."
"Except you don't want to."

(5)
Susan Shapiro's "Only as Good as Your Word." (Thanks again Amy for another great recommendation.) Not intended to be a self help book, but her incisive self reflection and calling out of the dynamics she and others operated in provided a lot of object lessons.

From pgs 260-61: "...the secret pact of my [writers'] workshop was, 'We'll all help each other become almost successful.' [...] If I blamed my compulsions for blocking my career, I was implying that their addictions were linked to their inabilities to finish projects and nail book deals themselves."

And last but not least -

(6)
Passionate Marriage, by David Schnarch - but only five chapters - 2, 11, 12, 13, and 14. Chapter 2 introduces some core concepts, and the last 4 chapters also put fine points on powerful concepts. I think the interim pages in the 408 page book (plus references) demonstrate the points he makes in the final chapters. The book focuses on marriage but the concepts are about the individual in relation to self and others, on responsible choice and intentional growth instead of primitive survival responses.

Regarding confidence - pg 337: "The issue isn't whether you're good enough the way you are. It's a question of who you want to be."

Great chart on page 355, "Regulating Growth and Stability: for Individuals, Marriages, Families, and Groups."

Not quite on topic but the millionaire next door by Thomas J. Stanley has been helpful for me and friends. It gives a realistic view of what rich people look like and how they live. That then helps with the 'keeping up with the jonses' attitude that then leads to 'its all a scam' or 'its not what you know but who you know' attitudes that result when the 'jonses' are just made-up TV people. No one can keep up with the tv jonses.

I've been reading his second book the millionaire mind, but I can't recommend it. It is clear he doesn't understand what he is talking about. He goes on about fearless millionaire businessmen. Which is complete bull. They just fear different things. So they acted differently.