The New Prudes Are The Feminists
Paris Lees is sick of it -- writing on VICE about all the thinking and speech that is no longer permitted in the feministsphere:
I'm sick of being told that being sexual is bad. That being sexualized is bad, gauche and unpalatable. "When was the last time you heard a man describe a woman with an adjective that wasn't dripping in sexual innuendos and defaming premises?" Author Lauren Martin asked in her op-ed for Daily Elite earlier this year, which has now had over 694,000 shares on social media, including the other day on my Facebook feed. "When was the last time you heard a man describe a woman as beautiful?"Erm, I don't know. Yesterday?
I know plenty of guys who lovingly refer to their lovers as beautiful. And smart. And sexy. And every other complex thing that made them fall in love with them. Of course, some men do describe women in rude, reductive ways. But that doesn't mean that every time a man describes a woman as sexy that it's a bad thing, or, indeed, that men never appreciate women for their beauty.
...I've been told that I'm hot when I'm bare-faced. I expect most women have. I've also been told that I'm beautiful ( all the time--seriously, guys, it's getting boring) when I'm wearing a smokey eye. These things are not black and white.
Shortly after reading the Daily Elite piece, someone shared an article on Facebook called "Attention Instagram 'Models', You are Selling Yourselves." The fact that it is hosted on theproblemismen.com is a bit of a giveaway that it's not to be taken as an intelligent feminist critique, but the 70,000 shares it's had on social media suggest that more than a few people are taking it seriously. Rather helpfully, it's accompanied by a photo of a young girl posing in a bikini. It reminded me of the time Julie Bindel wrote a piece moaning about expressions of lesbianism in pop culture--giving the Daily Mail an excuse to run pictures of young, scantily clad celebrities lezzing it up at parties.
Anyway, theproblemismen.com article begins by slut-shaming girls who post saucy pics online. "Posing in a lace bra and a G-string on Instagram doesn't give the perception that you are a 'lingerie model'... it makes you look cheap... like the only value you offer is your body."
Of course, there are real issues with underage girls posting sexual photos online which are then picked up by pedophile sites, but telling girls that it makes them look "cheap" isn't the answer. And why does posing in your bra suggest that the only value you offer is your body? I've got photos of my graduation on Facebook but I don't remember anyone telling me: "Your brain isn't the only value you offer, Paris."
Some cute guy who looks to be about 30 messaged me on Facebook Thursday night, saying he wants to get together with me when I'm in New York. I thanked him but told him I had a boyfriend. "you're stunning," he said.
I'm also 50, and I think it's cool as hell that a guy who looks like he's 30 just said that to me.
The stupid thing would be not appreciating that.
RELATED -- feminism, of course, involves aggressive humorlessness and butthurtness. From The Verge, "I don't care if you landed a spacecraft on a comet, your shirt is sexist and ostracizing":
A number of the scientists involved on this incredible project were interviewed in the hours leading to contact by Nature Newsteam. One of those Rosetta scientists was Matt Taylor, who chose to dress, for this special occasion, in a bowling shirt covered in scantly clad caricatures of sexy women in provocative poses."This is going to be a very long day but a very exciting day," said Taylor. "I think everyone should enjoy it because we're making history."
No one knows why Taylor chose to wear that shirt on television during a massive scientific mission. From what we can tell, a woman who goes by the name of Elly Prizeman on Twitter made the shirt for him, and is just as bewildered as he must be that anyone might be upset about her creation. But none of that actually matters. What matters is the fact that no one at ESA saw fit to stop him from representing the Space community with clothing that demeans 50 percent of the world's population. No one asked him to take it off, because presumably they didn't think about it. It wasn't worth worrying about.
Oops. I forgot to feel "demeaned" and "ostracized."
This is the sort of casual misogyny that stops women from entering certain scientific fields. They see a guy like that on TV and they don't feel welcome.
I find his shirt seventies-ugly, but if you decided you won't enter a field because somebody wears a shirt you, say, find offensive, you didn't want to be in that field all that much, anyway, did you?
How do women who are truly men's equals behave? They take any "keep outs" to be challenges that make them work even harder.
When I was a kid, my mother told me that some people don't like Jews, and I needed to work even harder because of that. That's the message of success, not "Boohoo, somebody offended me; I'll go hide under the bed." (That's the message of feminism, the new infantilism.)
via @CathyYoung63
Best line in the article:
"I want no part in any feminism that takes "We know what's best for you" as its starting point."
I would only modify it to say, "I want no part in *any* group that takes 'we know what's best for you' as its starting point."
there are some who call me 'Tim?' at November 14, 2014 2:35 AM
As an aside, I'm older than you, and *I* think you're amazingly hot.
I'm gonna say that I think Gregg scored, big time.
there are some who call me 'Tim?' at November 14, 2014 2:38 AM
It's easy to figure out who's the totalitarian: there's someone somewhere who is having fun of a sort I do not agree with. That person must be found, and punished.
I R A Darth Aggie at November 14, 2014 6:18 AM
Meh, the shirt doesn't offend me or keep me from doing science, but it was particularly inappropriate for wearing when you are in front of the world in a professional capacity, and I see no problem with pointing that out.
The shirt has generated a huge discussion on the Facebook astronomers page. I detect a cultural divide between Americans and our European and South American colleagues. The latter are much more inclined to Amy's position on this.
Astra at November 14, 2014 6:32 AM
Yes, the grundyism has always been there, and postmodern feminism has elevated it to an art form. All the slut walks and so forth are merely an attempt to paper over the huge philosophical inconsistency: In feminism, women are supposed to have lots of sex, but mut not enjoy any of it.
It's no surprise that so many women today decline to self-identify as feminists, after seeing the joyless existence that it promises them.
Cousin Dave at November 14, 2014 6:33 AM
2 things, I'm thinkin'
1 is, wait, so we care more about some clothing, than the brain involved? Ats prolly sexist or something, OTOH, I'd bet there would be nary a peep if the guy had been dressed in drag, 'cuz that'd be 'his choice'.
Standards are whatever we make up on the spot, doncha know.
Second?
I'm betting that he could get away with this because of the strange work rules at ESA... you can bet your bottom dollar he would never wear that to work at NASA or any contractor... HR would write you up fast enough to make your head spin.
SwissArmyD at November 14, 2014 6:44 AM
The other thing about that Verge article that really grates on me is the assertion that women would be lucky to make it far enough in science to be insulted by the shirt: "Those are the few who persevered even when they were discouraged from pursuing degrees in physics, chemistry, and math throughout high school. These are the women who forged on despite the fact that they were told by elementary school classmates and the media at large that girls who like science are nerdy and unattractive."
What planet are these people living on? Is there a school district anywhere in the country where teachers and advocates aren't bending over backwards to tell girls how very, very special they are, and how super-awesome math and science are?
These people are as bad as MADD: identify the problem, fix most of the problem, then pretend the problem hasn't been addressed, and obsess over the remaining bits of the problem that are functionally insoluble.
Guvner Squid at November 14, 2014 7:33 AM
I'm betting that he could get away with this because of the strange work rules at ESA... you can bet your bottom dollar he would never wear that to work at NASA or any contractor... HR would write you up fast enough to make your head spin.
Yep, lol. When we did the press conference for the Hubble servicing mission, everyone's clothes were vetted in advance. Well, those who appeared on camera, but if I had put on a shirt like that even as someone in the audience (within camera panning range) I suspect I would have had to change.
One article I read pointed out that most Americans don't appreciate the class angle here. Taylor is British and from a working-class background, so showing that a guy in tats who didn't go to the "right" schools can be a successful scientist is a great message. Still best save the half naked ladies shirt for the pub after-party though.
Astra at November 14, 2014 8:12 AM
The outrage over the shirt is a way for marginal performers to explain why they aren't at the top of their field. “I could have been contender, but the misogyny in the scientific community is what held me back.” Because Lord knows it couldn’t be you in anyway… This is a slap to women who do work hard and achieve success.
Sheep Mom at November 14, 2014 8:23 AM
The outrage over the shirt is a way for marginal performers to explain why they aren't at the top of their field.
See, Instapundit made the same allusion on Twitter and it's simply not true. These are my colleagues in a fairly small field, so I know who is most loudly complaining and how successful they are in science. It is, as one might expect, a broad distribution, but there are plenty of very successful scientists who think that this is inappropriate and harmful. As I said above, the strongest divide appears to be U.S. vs. European/South American in this.
Agree or disagree (my own feelings are mixed) but don't take the easy route of the ad hominem attack.
Astra at November 14, 2014 8:31 AM
What matters is the fact that no one at ESA saw fit to stop him from representing the Space community with clothing that demeans 50 percent of the world's population.
Cultural relativism, dudes and dudettes. They're from Europe. Don't be so Amerocentric in your cultural outlooktitude!
Old RPM Daddy (OldRPMDaddy at GMail dot com) at November 14, 2014 8:55 AM
@"it makes you look cheap... like the only value you offer is your body."
Maybe feminists keep feeling like offering beauty somehow precludes offering anything else of value, because they THEMSELVES aren't offering any value to humanity. They're projecting.
Meanwhile, there are women who manage to achieve great things and offer value to the world while still looking beautiful and sexy, proving that the two are not mutually exclusive - e.g. the pianist Yuja Wang (http://media.tokafi.com/2007/09/15-questions-to-yuja-wang-2007-09-02.0114248694.jpg)
Lobster at November 14, 2014 10:12 AM
I predict sales of "Clueless Horndog Hawaiian Shirt" will go through the roof.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at November 14, 2014 10:40 AM
I was reading another one of those articles, yesterday, about how women are making great strides in the tech industry but sexism is sTill rampant. I'm always mystified by these stories. Since getting my engineering degree on 2007 I've worked for a major defense contractor in 3 different states, and my male colleagues, esPecially the ones under 30, all seemed to be so afraid of appearing to be sexual harassers that it was actually kind of sad.
Sosij at November 14, 2014 11:49 AM
Mehr. It's a shirt. He's a techie. People looking for outrage have found some, and should be appropriately thankful. The rest of us are interested in the space stuff.
a_random_giy at November 14, 2014 12:01 PM
"Dr Taylor received a reassuring pat on the back from Andrea Accomazzo, the Rosetta flight operations director, as he went on to describe the current state of the mission."
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/space/11231320/Rosetta-mission-scientist-Dr-Matt-Taylor-cries-during-apology-over-offensive-shirt.html
Flight Ops. Dir is a woman who was standing right there... why did she let him go on camera in the first place? We wonders, aye, we wonders.
SwissArmyD at November 14, 2014 1:03 PM
Flight Ops. Dir is a woman who was standing right there... why did she let him go on camera in the first place? We wonders, aye, we wonders.
Presumably because she was busy in the flight ops center during the landing. Taylor was in the interview area not the ops room. I watched it live.
But I'm sure that's what you were going to say...
Astra at November 14, 2014 2:26 PM
Although I hit post too fast, because I believe Andrea Accomazzo is the man sitting next to Taylor in the apology video. Darn the Italians and their girly names!
I don't know who that woman is.
Astra at November 14, 2014 2:28 PM
And, while I'm spamming Amy's page on this topic, I will direct your attention to the tattoo Taylor got to commemorate the mission:
http://i1.wp.com/www.metalsucks.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/matt-taylor-rosetta-tattoo.jpg?zoom=1.5&resize=620%2C539
It's pretty awesome.
Astra at November 14, 2014 3:18 PM
huh, thanks for the correction, Astra... I knew there were women on the team, so I figured w/o checking... that Andrea was one. Been a while... shoulda known better than to assume.
SwissArmyD at November 14, 2014 3:43 PM
When I was at Smith we danced topless on the radiators at parties and had bdsm workshops in the women's resource center.
NicoleK at November 15, 2014 12:05 AM
That apology is the most the pathetic thing I've seen in a while. He should grow a spine and stand up against these bullies and tell them to go to hell, that he'll wear what he wants. Though I kind of feel sorry for the guy, science-nerd types have never been good at standing up against bullies.
Feminism has long since stopped being a rights movement.
Lobster at November 15, 2014 3:19 AM
He deserved what happened to him because of the way he was dressed. He should have dressed more conservatory, if he didn't want to get raped in the media.
Matt at November 15, 2014 10:16 PM
Does that sound familiar to anyone?
Matt at November 15, 2014 10:17 PM
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