There are people who create laughs? I am so naive.

Just avoid funny things for the next 50 years.

Problem solved.

Tricky. On one hand, my boyfriend asked me to change how I sneezed, and I didn't get upset. (He asked if I could start sneezing into my elbow instead of my shoulder). OK no big deal, I could care less.

But I consider a laugh to be more like a smile -- a personal, spontaneous reaction that is tied to emotions rather than bodily function. If someone interested in me romantically were to ask me to change my smile, it would absolutely kill the mood forever, and I'd probably be breaking up with him soon after.

Now, there are some caveats:
-Has she always laughed this way, or, as Amy mentioned, is this a laugh she came up with deliberately (and rehearsed) a few years ago as a way to get attention? If so, why date someone like that?

-Is it so obnoxious, it couldn't possibly be natural? And so obnoxious it might affect other areas of her life (like work)?

If so, LW might say, "You know, several people have brought this up to me: Your laugh really stands out. And I admit, it kind of startled me at first." Or, he might mention it in situation-specific ways: "You know, my workplace is pretty stuffy and conservative. So, could you use your indoor laugh at the next office party?" That might snap her into awareness (if she isn't already aware). But if LW just doesn't *like* her laugh, asking her to change it for him and him alone will likely have a chilling affect on the romance.

... yeah, if its a dealbreaker he should move on. I personally dont think I could change mine, it is not concious... I wouldnt want to think and worry about it every time I laughed. Its a good way to turn someone dour

Nah, just don't ask her out...

But also don't miss the learning experience.

It's worth thinking about what it is that bothers, and decide what that means. Worth thinking about why you want to get the cart in front of the horse in the first place, if all other things are attractive, why is the laugh a problem? Is the laugh an expression of something else?

are you the one who has gotten her to laugh? How do you know it's a laugh you hate, and in what situation?

Seems like you are asking the wrong question in some ways, but maybe for the right reasons. If something put you off like that, or maybe the huge mole on the end of her nose... don't bother. It'll just bug you.

Remember that this is an initial reaction, and you should be wary of ignoring those.

Beside, ain't no guarantee that she'll go out with you, because she hates the way you chew gum.

It's a bit like the response to the gal asking about the guy with the neck beard. You can try asking very nicely once you get to know her some, but be prepared for her to say no and maybe get offended. At that point, if it's a dealbreaker for you, then you owe it to her to let her go. There's a fair amount of monkey-brain in how we react to sounds; certain frequencies can set off part of your brain that you don't have much say-so over. I can think of a couple of celebrities who are smart and entertaining, but I can barely stand to listen to their speaking voices. It's primal

But also, at this point, you might want to think hard about what you really want and what you just can't tolerate, and maybe trim your do/don't lists appropriately. It tends to be the most shallow people who have ten-page-long dealbreaker lists.

He's wondering -- assuming things go well between them -- if he could maybe, eventually, subtly hint to her to change her laugh.

I think he's jumping the gun a little, worrying about things before he has a reason to. He doesn't even know yet if she wants to go out with him! He shouldn't concern himself too much with her laugh until he's gotten to know her better. And then, who knows? He might wind up kind of digging it.

My prescription in the past has been to tell people to think not of all the wonderful things about a person (because nobody breaks up with you because you're hilarious and great in bed), but about all the annoying and not-so-great things about a person, and see if you can live with them.

When my eldest and her boyfriend decided to get married, my future son-in-law was polite enough to discuss the matter with me first. Among other things, I told him to think about all the things he hates about my daughter, and ask himself if he can live with them for the rest of his life. Whether what I said sunk in or not, I can't say, but I thought I ought to tell him.

You all are some very interesting people, you know! (Keeps me inspired to blog when it's 11pm and I should have been in bed half an hour before -- because I wake up at 5am to write these days.)

I went on a date with an over laugher once -- you know, that guy at the movies who ruins every joke by laughing too loud and too hard. Afterward I ran into a friend in the lobby and she actually mentioned it, not knowing he was my date: Wow, what was up with that dude? He was kind, smart, generous, successful, but I couldn't deal with his laugh. At all. So I introduced him to a slightly older girlfriend who was looking to settle down. That was 25 years ago, they're still married, we're all still friends, his laugh still drives me up the wall. I've always wanted to ask whether she didn't notice or didn't care. Or maybe found it charming? Someone for everyone, like they say.

I think there's a problem here with "one-itis." No woman that you haven't even asked out yet is worth writing an advice columnist about. As SwissArmyD says, she may not even want to go out with him. He should ask her out, then it either works out or it doesn't.

To me the LW is over-thinking or looking for a "PC" excuse to dump her after having sex.

Of course I don't know how much interaction socially he has had w/her. Maybe he really gets a "zing" out of being around her and then get repulsed by her laugh.

(Which to me answers the question and he is ignoring the answer because he is scared of missing out of obtaining "true" love. Or he wants guilt-free sex.)

I suspect that the laugh is at his member. That might be a dealbreaker…

I'm answering a question from a guy who's into a girl and wants to ask her out but is disturbed by her laugh. He's wondering -- assuming things go well between them -- if he could maybe, eventually, subtly hint to her to change her laugh.

While he's wondering that, he might also consider wondering if he could maybe, eventually change how he feels about her laugh.

The reality is, the guy could go out on a date with her and find something else that makes her a dealbreaker. ...and it isn't wrong to go out on a date with somebody for further experience to see whether you can deal.

Absolutely. Nothing wrong with going out with her a few times. He may indeed continue to find her laugh disturbing but if he ends up really liking a lot of things about her, it's possible that it won't be as much of an annoyance.

My prescription in the past has been to tell people to think not of all the wonderful things about a person (because nobody breaks up with you because you're hilarious and great in bed)
_____________________________________

One can never be sure.

"42 Things Wrong With American Women"

http://www.freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=83&t=19704

I don't know if Roosh actually wrote this list or not, but here's one item:

"They think being funny and witty is a quality that men love."

So, apparently, even THAT turns some men off.

At any rate, being loud in general - or not having an indoor voice or indoor laugh - can certainly turn people of either sex off.

"The "expected" answer to a question like this is to say to the guy, "How dare you, you shallow pig!"

As a gay guy, please pardon my ignorance on heterosexual dating; but, hasn't it sort of been a running joke that women always date guys and want/expect/demand that the guy change? (Tuck your shirt in - you look like a slob; Don't do anything to embarrass me in front of my friends, Be nice to my parents - we ARE going there for dinner on Saturday, etc.)

So, I guess what I saying is a guy asking such a question is real women's lib. The gender's have reversed roles a bit, no?

I hope it works out for both of them.

I hope that he stays away from her. It would save both a lot of heartache. My husband yells at me when I laugh when I'm talking. It turns a happy moment into one that is not so happy and those happy moments are in short supply anyway.

Unless he has reason to believe this is a fake laugh, he should make up his mind that it's part of the package, and take it or leave it. I couldn't change my genuine laugh to save my life. It's as much a part of me as my northeast accent. Either you like it or you don't. This isn't like cutting your hair or shaving your beard, or wearing more skirts.

But I do get why something like this would bother someone. A nice voice is far more important to me than height or hair. Seriously, it is -- I have dated guys my height or even shorter, but I cannot date a guy with a high-pitched voice or girly laugh. It's just a huge turn-off to me. So I don't date them --I leave them to the women who don't mind.

However, I can't imagine saying "hey, can you try to make your laugh less girly"? Even if he could make efforts to change it, he'd feel self-conscious every time he laughed for the entire time we were together. Certainly that's how I'd feel if a date said it to me. (And for that reason, I'd have to dump him.)

While he's wondering that, he might also consider wondering if he could maybe, eventually change how he feels about her laugh.

P.S. forgot to add this to my previous comment above...

When a person has a behavior you don't like, there are two things you can do: (1) try to get them to change (or hope that they'll change) or (2) change how you feel about their behavior.

The first you have no control over; the second you do.

Concentrate on what's important. An annoying laugh is one thing. A fantastic blowjob is another. Which would you rather have?

Go out with her. You'll never know what you might find out if you don't try.

An example. I met my current girlfriend twenty three years ago, nothing happened then of course because we were 20 and so immature. A year or so ago, we met together again through friends. I threw caution to the wind and drove 800kms (500 miles) to see her on the basis of a couple of Skype calls. Which worked out perfectly. And the guys waiting for her to move back into the city were really disappointed. Tough luck, dickheads, I got there first.

LW - give her a go and don't worry so much. Just see how it goes.

I'm sorry I missed this.

Would you avoid Fran Drescher because of that voice?