"Microaggressions" And The New Meaning Of Trauma
This guy, Chris Hernandez, writes about trauma a man he met in the Marines encountered -- trauma because he was in a horrible helicopter crash, was horribly burned, and witnessed his friends screaming and dying. Hernandez also describes trauma he personally has experienced as a police officer:
I remember the shock I felt when I walked up to a car after a seemingly minor accident and saw a two year old's head lying on the floorboard. I stood helplessly outside a burning house as a ninety-two year old woman died inside, while her son screamed hysterically beside me. For years after my time as a soldier in Iraq I'd have a startle response if I unexpectedly saw a flash, like from a camera, in my peripheral vision (it reminded me of flashes from roadside bombs). Soldiers near me were shot, burned or killed by weather in Afghanistan.My childhood wasn't rosy either; early one morning when I was eight I heard pounding on our kitchen door, then was terrified to see a family member stumble into the house covered in blood after being attacked by a neighbor. Even today, after thirty-five years, I still sometimes tense up when I hear a knock at the door. When I was ten, my eleven year old best friend committed suicide because of a minor sibling dispute. He wrote a note, left a will, snuck his father's pistol from a drawer and shot himself. I was severely affected by his death, and ten years later got a copy of his suicide note from the city morgue. After I read it, I finally felt that I could heal from that horrible event.
And then he discovers the new meaning of trauma:
Trauma now seems to be pretty much anything that bothers anyone, in any way, ever. And the worst "trauma" seems to come not from horrible brushes with death like I described above; instead, they're the result of racism and discrimination.Over the last year I've heard references to "Microagressions" and "Trigger Warnings". Trigger Warnings tell trauma victims that certain material may "contain disturbing themes that may trigger traumatic memories for sufferers"; it's a way for them to continue avoiding what bothers them, rather than facing it (and the memories that get triggered often seem to be about discrimination, rather than mortal danger). Microaggressions are minor, seemingly innocuous statements that are actually stereotype-reinforcing trauma, even if the person making the statement meant nothing negative.
And he echoes my conclusion in a previous blog post:
If your psyche is so fragile you fall apart when someone inadvertently reminds you of "trauma", especially if that trauma consisted of you overreacting to a self-interpreted racial slur, you need therapy. You belong on a psychiatrist's couch, not in college dictating what the rest of society can't do, say or think.
And he goes one better:
Fuck your trauma.Yes, fuck your trauma. My sympathy for your suffering, whether that suffering was real or imaginary, ended when you demanded I change my life to avoid bringing up your bad memories. You don't seem to have figured this out, but there is no "I must never be reminded of a negative experience" expectation in any culture anywhere on earth.
...Oh, I should add: fuck my trauma too. I must be old-fashioned, but I always thought coming to terms with pain was part of growing up. I've never expected anyone to not knock on my door because it reminds me of that terrifying morning decades ago. I've never blown up at anyone for startling me with a camera flash (I've never even mentioned it to anyone who did). I've never expected anyone to not talk about Iraq or Afghanistan around me, even though some memories still hurt. I don't need trigger warnings because a book might remind me of a murder victim I've seen.
And before anyone says it; being Hispanic doesn't make me any more sympathetic to people who experience nonexistent, discriminatory "trauma". Discrimination didn't break me (or my parents, or grandparents). I've been discriminated against by whites for being Hispanic. I've been threatened by blacks for being white. I've been insulted by Hispanics for not being Hispanic enough. Big deal. None of that stopped me from doing anything I wanted to do. It wasn't "trauma". It was life.
Generations of Americans experienced actual trauma. Our greatest generation survived the Depression, then fought the worst war in humanity's history, then built the United States into the most successful nation that has ever existed. They didn't accomplish any of that by being crystal eggshells that would shatter at the slightest provocation, they didn't demand society change to protect their tender feelings. They simply dealt with the hardships of their past and moved on. Even my great uncle, the Korea Marine, never expected us to tiptoe around him. He wouldn't talk about his experience, but he didn't order us not to.
Yeah, fuck those people who don't want to inadvertently trigger someone's PTSD. Tough it out. Grrrrrrrr.
Or, y'know, maybe if we changed our approach to trauma we wouldn't lose 22 vets a day to suicide.
Elle at January 5, 2015 6:00 AM
@ Elle
Clueless ands did not address the topic.
Drink some coffee and try again. Or not.
Bob in texas at January 5, 2015 6:27 AM
Elle, you [trigger warning] stupid [trigger warning] bitch.
The [trigger warning] article is [trigger warning] talking about all the [trigger warning] bullshit [trigger warning] trigger warnings, that [trigger warning] morons [trigger warning] insist accompany every [trigger warning] damn word or concept that might be to [trigger warning] harsh for delicate little flowers to handle.
[trigger warning] God [trigger warning] forbid anyone take [trigger warning] responsibility to deal with their issues as opposed to [trigger warning] screaming [trigger warning] trigger warning before saying words like [trigger warning] assault, or [trigger warning] rape, or [trigger warning] male in law and medical classes.
But sure you keep pretending its about real PTSD and not feminists and [trigger warning] pansies trying to make everyone a [trigger warning] victim of something to garner themselves more political power.
/sarc
lujlp at January 5, 2015 7:02 AM
is that seriously what you came away with Elle?
are people who deal in the marketplace of microaggressions thinking about PTSD?
A horribly burned person is going to warrant a bit of deference in what you talk about, true. If you discover someone is a rape victim, no matter how long ago... are you going to be more conscious of what you say and do? Certainly.
When you open the door for a woman, and she berates you for a few moments over how much she can open-a-door-herself-thankyouverymuch... does she deserve deference over your perceived slight?
I never knew until recently that was some kind of microaggression based on my male privilege. And since I open the door for anyone, it must be ableist privilege too.
The catch 22 in all of this is that people are forged by their lives. Do we really want people to be forged by a global depression, and World Wars? By watching helplessly as someone burns to death? By starvation, privation, and the four horsemen of the apocalypse?
Who wants to see that? OTOH, when you live so well for so long, the simple courtesy of a door opening can seem like some kind of physical blow to your psyche.
It may well be that you are then on the downhill slide into one of those events in which strong people are forged...
Heinlein called that "bad luck".
SwissArmyD at January 5, 2015 7:10 AM
The concept of microaggressions, like that of privilege, is useful to get people to think about the way societies are structured and how that can be to the advantage of some groups and the disadvantage of others.
But humans being humans, people take useful concepts and turn them into all-out truths as part of the transition from tragedy to farce.
These are also political weapons of course.
Astra at January 5, 2015 7:19 AM
"crystal eggshells that would shatter at the slightest provocation."
Boy, does that phrase perfectly describe so many people today!
People who experience real trauma like Chris Hernandez experienced, I suspect, want to get over the trauma and get back to a normal life. Whatever normal might be.
But, far too many folks, who haven't experienced trauma like he has want to make a big deal out of their experiences and expect the rest of us to "pay attention to them" because they think they are special.
Charles at January 5, 2015 7:24 AM
PTSD is serious bizness. They use the same meds they use on me for them.
Ppen at January 5, 2015 8:45 AM
Lecturing others about microagressions and the trauma they're said to induce always struck me as posturing by comfortable people with a little too much free time. Think about it: How can you claim oppression when the oppressor hasn't bothered to show up? How can you claim you're being silenced when nobody's shushed you even once?
Must be the microagressions!
Old RPM Daddy (OldRPMDaddy at GMail dot com) at January 5, 2015 8:49 AM
"The concept of microaggressions, like that of privilege, is useful to get people to think about the way societies are structured and how that can be to the advantage of some groups and the disadvantage of others."
The groups who are advantaged are mainly narcissists and power-trippers. Are those the people we want to be privileged in society?
Cousin Dave at January 5, 2015 12:02 PM
The truth is we all face hundreds of microagressions everyday.
These things are not evidence of the patriarchy or signs that someone is out to get you.
The truth is, society is mostly indifferent to your problems ... just as you are to your neighbor's problems and those of the stranger on the bus.
Deal with it. You're not that special.
Conan the Grammarian at January 5, 2015 1:11 PM
Depends on what you are triggering.
Many years ago I can remember my father having to deal with an incident with one of his employees...actual it was at the guys home--a couple of young guys decided to break into his place. Not sure of the details but he flashed back to Nam. Those guys are lucky to be alive.
The Former Banker at January 5, 2015 11:54 PM
Feel free to ignore me, but I'm not about to shut up.
MarkD at January 6, 2015 4:08 PM
After my genuinely traumatic bypass operation, I was doing some heavy soul searching. I read a book "Your Soul's Plan" by Robert Schwartz, and I highly recommend it. Schwartz delves into people's pastlives using professional psychics, helping them find the meaning of the awful stuff they put themselves through.
One insight he offers is that planet Earth is a truly tough world to survive in, and nobody comes here looking for an easy time of it. We're known-- and admired-- throughout the spirit universe for the tough, resilient souls we produce. There's more spiritual growth to be had in a day's tragedy here than in 10,000 years on any "perfect world".
Schwartz's follow-up book is aptly titled "Courageous Souls."
jefe at January 6, 2015 5:14 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2015/01/trauma.html#comment-5747461">comment from jefeThere is ZERO evidence that any of this "past life" stuff or "psychics" are good for anything more than separating fools and their money.
Amy Alkon
at January 6, 2015 6:35 PM
Whoa, Amy, slow down there.
As a former Pharoah of Ancient Egypt, I used my even more-previouser past lives to realize how to build pyramids using electromagnetism and borrowed UFO technology. Saved us a lot of time and effort.
I mean, this stuff does have its place.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at January 7, 2015 12:49 PM
Why is that everyone was Napoleon or a pharaoh or a princess in their past lives?
Why doesn't anyone ever find out they were a scurvy-ridden peasant or died of the clap in a gutter?
Conan the Grammarian at January 7, 2015 1:28 PM
Leave a comment