Blah Blah Bye: How To Get Out Of A Boring Conversation (Using Behavioral Science)
Terrif Chi Trib piece by Heather Schroering (interviewing me and quoting "Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck" ) on how to get out of a boring conversation.
Tweeted link above gets you around the paywall. An excerpt from her piece:
We've all been there -- in the middle of a party, surrounded by fun people, fun music and fun cocktails, but sucked so deeply into the most unfun conversation with the person who just won't take a breath."She wants your ear," said Amy Alkon, sassy Advice Goddess blogger (AdviceGoddess.com) and author of "Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F**k" (St. Martin's Griffin). "She wants to hold it, and cup it, and love it and attach herself to it forever.
"I love my ears," Alkon added, "and she's not getting them."
Tolerating a conversation you don't want to be in doesn't make you more polite. ("It's not self-compassion if you're sitting there and you want to put a screwdriver into your ear so you don't have to listen to the person anymore," Alkon said.) However, you can politely extricate yourself from a conversation, but there's a science to it.
"At the root of manners is empathy, and this is actually what you need to know to get out of these conversations, because you can get out of them while being kind," Alkon explained.
Details at the link!
"Excuse me, I REALLY have to go to the bathroom!"
Fayd at February 6, 2015 8:07 AM
As an expert, I will say I think that's preferable to leaking on their shoe.
Amy Alkon at February 6, 2015 8:12 AM
PS By "Be more European," I meant talk with your hands. I blabbed a lot and it all wouldn't fit into the space, but I think she did a terrific piece. Got all my quotes right, too, which is (sigh) all too rare!
Amy Alkon at February 6, 2015 8:14 AM
Wow, you y'all are so much more...couth...than I am. Hold that thought, I have to piss like a race horse.
Of course, being a Sith means I have other ways to end a conversation. And sometimes, that involves using your hands.
I R A Darth Aggie at February 6, 2015 8:43 AM
We've all been there -- in the middle of a party, surrounded by fun people, fun music and fun cocktails, but sucked so deeply into the most unfun conversation with the person who just won't take a breath.
One of my greatest annoyances, not just at a party but in any situation: a person who talks and talks and talks without listening.
A explanation I've frequently heard for a person like this is that, deep-down, they're really insecure. While that may be true in some cases, I don't think it's true in most. I think most people like this haven't matured sufficiently. We all start life being self-centered (and there's nothing wrong with that when you're an infant.) But as we grow older and mature, most of us come to realize that the world doesn't, and shouldn't, revolve around us. Some people, unfortunately, never grow out of that it's-all-about-me period.
JD at February 6, 2015 1:18 PM
Terrif Chi Trib
P.S. good name for a rapper.
JD at February 6, 2015 1:28 PM
> As an expert, I will say I think that's preferable to leaking on their shoe.
Huh. Well, live and learn. Old dog here. New tricks, they said it couldn't be done.
jerry at February 6, 2015 1:41 PM
I have a better solution: don't go to parties.
Patrick at February 6, 2015 1:50 PM
But since most people would rather not avoid parties for the rest of their lives (unlike me), I think Amy has the right idea. Find a plausible pretext to escape the conversation. And again, it works with any situation, not just parties.
Should work on anyone (with the notable exception of my mother).
Patrick at February 6, 2015 1:55 PM
Ha! I've been doing something like this for years on the telephone:
"Oh, hold on, I just heard my call-waiting click."
I then put my hand over the phone, wait a couple of seconds, then:
"sorry, I just have to take this other call. It is family. Can't talk now. We'll have to talk another time."
Then, I make sure that I hang up without giving that motor-mouth a chance to say when to call back.
P.S. I don't have call waiting on my phone.
charles at February 6, 2015 7:41 PM
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