Although I completely agree with the sentiment of self-inviting to your neighbor's late night Hoot-A-Nanny and tripping over her while carrying 2 pitchers of Limberberger scented Kool Aide, please do not reason that rudeness is theft and give the Nanny State Progressives another excuse to further regulate my private life. It is bad enough that I am forced to listen to a kid who appears to need instruction on personal hygiene lecture me of the threat of "Micro-Aggressions". I do not want that twit to have any idea that s/he can call the police because I roll my eyes, or cough a sound which could be mistaken for saying "Bull$hit."

Because I say rudeness is theft doesn't mean -- hello, Olympic leap to conclusions! -- that this will become "another excuse to further regulate..." your private life.

Look, I'm disturbed about that sort of thing, too, but I don't shoehorn it into discussions that have nothing to do with it.

The reason it's important for us to see rudeness as theft is that we evolved in small bands of people we knew and saw consistently. We now live in vast strangerhoods and don't have the evolved psychology to deal with this evolutionarily novel condition. Reputational concerns are a constraint on bad behavior in small, consistent societies. We need to make up for the fact that we are around strangers who are abusing us and people who end up being rude because it seems more permissible since so many people are doing it (and maybe because you aren't in their immediate reputation group, even if they see you often).

The way we get people to stand up to rude strangers or rude people who don't have concerns about their reputation because they run in a different circle is to tell people they are being robbed. And they are. We all hate to be robbed of something we own or are entitled to. And yes, you are entitled to sleep at 3 a fucking m.

And I don't want to invite myself to her 3am gathering. I want to be in my bed impervious to what she is doing with her shitty entitlement-infused self.

"Reputational concerns are a constraint on bad behavior in small, consistent societies."

We wouldn't have single motherhood if we just applied shame.

I'd just call the police. I assume that by the time you decided to write the "quiz," this had already happened enough times that there's no possibility of the offender growing into a neighbor you'd want to keep around, so why be nice at all?

I totally get your situation and agree that your neighbor was rude. But on the other hand, how far are you obligated to be polite? My husband's band used to practice in our garage at 2:00 in the afternoon on Sunday's. Before they started, they knocked on doors and asked the neighbors for a block in every direction if they minded. None did, as a matter of fact, it turned into kind of a block party. People brought drinks and refreshments and sat, watched, and clapped.

But then we started to get complaints-from three blocks away. The lady was a law school student that liked to study on Sunday afternoon with her window open and she could hear them. The police said that we were not breaking any noise ordinances. We were not excessively loud. My husband went ahead and rented a studio in which to practice. Our neighbors were not happy.

We also shaved the vocal cords of our dog that barked excessively.

I understand being bothered by noise that is so loud that it is not stopped by windows but people that insist on keeping their windows open should expect to hear more than the twitter of birds. I'm sick of bending over backwards to coddle the "special ones.

We wouldn't have single motherhood if we just applied shame.

Or stopped subsidizing their lifestyle.

Since this sounds like a semi-frequent occurrence, I'd call City Hall and ask if there are relevant noise ordinances and how they suggest you handle it.

Then instead of leaving a quiz as you did, which I think might generate hostility, I think I'd leave a note saying you are trying to sleep and detailing the noise ordinance.

I'd probably video and log all future recurrences.

And then ask the cops to remind them when it actually occurs again.

I could write a very thick book on bad neighbors. The house next door was a rental and people came and left. It was a Merry Go Round from Hell.
Parties starting at 2 AM, swimming pool parties that lasted all night with the same child crying the whole time. And dogs barking all night.
When the "Big One" hit in 1984 my wife and I decided that this was the perfect time to bail. There must be somewhere that we can live in peace and quiet. We found this "Shangri-la in a place called Warner Center in Woodland Hills, CA.
Since then I discovered that there are considerate people in this world. It takes some effort, but they are out there.
I just read a comment by someone who deemed it their God given right to throw parties at all hours of the night and determined that it would be pointless to get into an argument with them. Some people just aren't worth the trouble!

There are certainly times I've wanted to borrow an Army LRAD.

Oddly, searching Amazon for LRAD turns up two such devices including this one: http://www.amazon.com/Shomer-Tec-Nausea-Electronic-Disruption-Device/dp/B00ABV7OAM
(Shomer-Tec Sonic Nausea Electronic Disruption Device) Is this for real?

Well, you won't see that show up in your Amazon store what people bought list, but you should see a set of kinivo bluetooth headphones.

Amy, I get it and agree with you on your case. My neighbors are taking it to the other extreme. Our noise was during the day and enjoyed by everyone for a block around. The complainer lived three blocks away. The band was not outrageously loud and we checked with everyone in the near vicinity. I tried to listen from three blocks away and truthfully. I could not hear anything.

I would be frustrated too if I were you too. I would leave s note - once and then I would contact the police.