Agree Or Disagree?
I'm moderating a panel on memoirs tomorrow at LA Times Festival of Books, and I'm asking my panelists about privacy -- jumping off from this Anne Lamott quote:
"You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better." --Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life








I dunno, she ain't never been my cup of tea.
That chick ain't just pre-Copernican, she's megalo-Ptolmaic, in her model, the Universe revolves around her, so I can understand how she believes in fuck the epicycles who dissed her.
Anyway, I try to choose non-sociopaths to follow.
(Except maybe when Crid says something funny.)
jerry at April 19, 2015 12:13 AM
That's bullshit. Because people can have behaved perfectly well and maybe you were the asshole so you're gonna write it down how you interpreted the interaction, which will paint you in the light of the victim. And then you're putting the burden on the person to publicly defend themselves. It happens so fucking often especially among female writers regarding their sex life. Unless the person is compelling in their own right via their own achievements then I skip the genre altogether. I ESPECIALLY skip them when they're about professional writers.
(And jerry that was hilarious)
Ppen at April 19, 2015 2:06 AM
Aren't there libel issues involved here?
Patrick at April 19, 2015 6:07 AM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2015/04/agree-or-disagr-1.html#comment-5972138">comment from PpenMy take, from "Good Manners For Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck", is that if a person has done something wrong that is relevant to us as a society, it's okay to expose them -- like if they park in the handicapped space, sans placard, and then skip out of their car into the store. However...
I'm quoting from Brandeis and Warren's Harvard Law Review article on privacy from the '90s -- the 1890s.
http://groups.csail.mit.edu/mac/classes/6.805/articles/privacy/Privacy_brand_warr2.html
Amy Alkon
at April 19, 2015 6:37 AM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2015/04/agree-or-disagr-1.html#comment-5972143">comment from PatrickPatrick, libel is only involved if you can prove that a person told untruths about you in writing.
The right to privacy is really at issue here -- of a private person, a person who is not a public figure or doing something of public relevance, to not be publicly exposed.
Amy Alkon
at April 19, 2015 6:40 AM
Exactly, Amy. What happens if the author's recollection is not 100% perfect?
Patrick at April 19, 2015 7:28 AM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2015/04/agree-or-disagr-1.html#comment-5972210">comment from Patrickhttp://dictionary.law.com/default.aspx?selected=1153
Amy Alkon
at April 19, 2015 7:30 AM
Recounting unflattering events is not that big of a deal. But a 'tell all' book filled with negativity mainly reflects on the author instead of the subject.
Ben at April 19, 2015 12:28 PM
Lamott wrote incredibly vicious things about her mother. Who doesn't have some issues with their mothers? But a well-known writer has a platform to vent and slant things her way that the people she writes about do not. She also used her son as column-fodder for years. Like a lot of parents who invade their children's privacy constantly for their own ends, she insisted that he was fine with it -- even when he was too young to consent, much less imagine how he might feel about the exposure when he was 10 or 20 years older. (I was thinking something similar when I read photographer Sally Mann's justification for documenting her kids' lives photographically in this week's NY Times Magazine.)
Lamott's a Christian who won't shut up about Jesus and how he changed her life. Given how she treats the people closest to her, and the way she's so quick to criticize Christians whose political opinions she dislikes, she's not much of a credit to her faith.
JD at April 19, 2015 5:33 PM
"If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better."
I think this is just a reason to be self-righteous about saying nasty things about people when they don't do what she wants.
ahw at April 20, 2015 8:09 AM
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