Achingly Dull LA Times Dating Column
It's one of a "submit your story!" feature called, boringly, "LA Affairs." An excerpt from this one, titled "Third time's the charm for two artists online."
I sent Pj a message saying I was looking for new friends and that he seemed cool. Almost immediately he sent me a message. We chatted a bit about his art studies, my writing and the tattoo of Totoro (the title character in Hayao Miyazaki's animated movie) I'd recently gotten on my ankle. Unfortunately, our conversations eventually fizzled out, mostly because I wasn't really ready to talk to anyone who could actually be someone to me.A year and a half later, Pj's profile popped up on my list again. My situation was much the same, except this time I was recovering from an interminable crush on a friend who was wrong for me. Pj and I exchanged longer messages for a couple of weeks. We meant to meet up, and he texted me now and then, but it just never happened.
...As we talked, Pj looked at me through those round glasses, his smile twitching under his thick beard. I felt that spark, that pull toward him. It ultimately turned out that we had more than enough in common where it mattered. We fell in love, quickly and wonderfully. Somehow, in the immense, traffic-laden city of Los Angeles, we'd managed to find -- again and again -- the right person.
We've been together for a while and continue to brave L.A. congestion to spend time with one another. Sometimes we even collaborate artistically, creating unique and interesting projects, and soon we hope to live together, removing the last bit of distance that separates us.
Are you really boring? Maybe they'll publish you, too! Here's their submissions guide.
Wow, Alana, hyperbole much?
How do you "recover" from a never-ending crush?
Amy, if this is the quality of writing one reads in the LA Times, you could have left the "Dating Column" off the headline.
Conan the Grammarian at May 11, 2015 8:29 AM
Oh, it's a sweet enough story, but tales of love gone right aren't usually that interesting to anyone but the parties concerned. An equivalent work-related story would go, "I got the requirements from the customer, and after a few conferences and a lot of work, finished the database he wanted. And then, guess what? He gave me money!"
Best of luck to Alana and P.J. all the same!
Old RPM Daddy (OldRPMDaddy at GMail dot com) at May 11, 2015 9:01 AM
Boring is good. We need boring.
Remember the (apocryphal) ancient Chinese curse: "may you live in interesting times."
My favorite news days occur when the evening news shows some "feel good" report, because nothing awful happened anywhere in the world.
a_random_guy at May 11, 2015 9:21 AM
We were at the same University. His ex-girlfriend said I might like him and gave him my email. We met in a coffee shop. Eventually we got married, but first, stuff happened. We moved to Philadelphia. We moved to Switzerland and got a house and two kids.
Hey... I can do this kinda writing too!
NicoleK at May 11, 2015 11:52 AM
So, we were, like, not totally into each other at first but we did stuff and then we totally clicked and, like, now we're soul mates.
BlogDog at May 11, 2015 12:12 PM
How do you "recover" from a never-ending crush?
I prefer bourbon for my recovery. Wut?
I wonder if they'll take something like:
After several failed romances, I decided I was picking the wrong women. That meant I needed to work on myself. I also felt that I needed to be a happy person in order to have a chance at relationship success, so I worked on that, too.
I eventually came to a point that while I still have work to do, I am generally happy. The problem with dating is that while no one can make you happy - you have to find that for yourself - they certainly have the capacity to make you miserable.
Given the attitudes in modern American women, I've pretty much checked out of the dating game. I'm not saying there's no chance, but she's gonna have to be something special.
And probably a redhead... ;-)
And like bourbon...
I R A Darth Aggie at May 11, 2015 12:24 PM
She is lucky he gave her a third chance. After two tries where she won't even see you face to face? I would have moved on after the first time.
Ben at May 11, 2015 12:48 PM
I've heard this before, but instead of meeting on-line, they met in the town square. And instead of the immense, traffic-laden city they had to overcome a long and bitter family feud. It didn't turn out well. The suspense is killing me on how this one will end.
Goo at May 11, 2015 8:41 PM
The only story I have that boring is my time travel fantasy, where I tell my 1990 self not to break up with his long-distance girlfriend, and we live happily ever after.
Real life is considerably more interesting, if less happy. Now separated from the woman I married after breaking up with the girlfriend, I've been dating someone I met online a month ago. I really like her, she seems to like me, and we've been having good times, but last night I found out that in the late 80s she did prison time for what she did to a guy who broke up with her after they'd been dating 3 weeks. While in prison she threatened to kill two judges.
The kicker is, the person who sent me this information is my ex-wife. We've been divorced almost 30 years, and I haven't seen or spoken to her in over 20. She heard about what I was doing from a mutual friend and took the trouble to check things out.
Rex Little at May 11, 2015 9:27 PM
When I read something like this, containing a carefully-condescending explanation of some trivially-obscure cultural reference (Totoro), I immediately grasp that I am dealing with a terminally self-absorbed hipster nit-wit at least 3 sigmas away from the mean.
Oh, I'm sorry. "Three sigmas away from the mean" is a concept from reliability/probability theory that describes . . . . .
See what I mean?
Sheldon Cooper explains 'condescending':
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OB1aOwmv5_s
It's a way of making sure people know just how much smarter/cooler/more hip you are than they are. But, as a joke is no longer funny if you have to explain it, people who have to explain how much smarter/cooler/more hip they are - usually aren't.
llater,
llamas
llamas at May 12, 2015 4:37 AM
Boring, or just bad writer? I have some great stories from my life that look so flat when I put them to paper in my journal.
My husband and I are boring, however, and that's just the way I like it.
Astra at May 12, 2015 7:32 AM
Leave a comment