This is a lie.
and if you don't tell the guy to do this or that to help you out, you're not doing him any favors... he doesn't know how you feel.

Who's ego are we protecting here? I think it's the person who has a difficult path to the big O, not the guy.

Certainly this is about communication- depending on experience, boya wouldn't have a clue on anything special required. From his perspective, this is a natural event that doesn't require extras.

Who has to explain how different it feels, what things work, and what don't?
That he could be hung like a horse, but then it would just hurt, and still no O?

If you fake it, he thinks everything is good. If it's not good, you are lying to him. Why would you do that? Afraid to tell him that he needs to up the foreplay game? That only exterior stimulation will work? That your wiring is a bit different?

These things won't hurt his ego, because there isn't a high likelihood of you having the big O without some skill. Help him build his skillset, yeah, he can do that.

OTOH? Lay there like a demanding sack of spuds for an hour, grow bored with it, and ask "are you finished yet?"
Suddenly pr0n is more exciting, takes less effort, and needs are met.

If you can't feel much down there due to having kids, and need attention other places... means you should lay that on the line. If you don't, you're not giving him a chance to help you.

Dunno, I see a lot of people trot out this thing where his ego gets bruised, it performance anxiety, and so forth... but I don't think it is.

I think this is a simple lack of understanding bout how we each work as individuals, and what to do about that. If you don't talk about it, it won't get better.

You don't have to fake it, and you don't have to lie, you have to communicate.

If a woman told me she was faking it, I would ask why.

Geez, SwissArmyD, the way you're talking about this almost sounds like you think it is a partnership or sumthin'!

The question really is about telling a guy you faked it the first few times and then didn't know how to roll back from that. But would like to do that now.

Amy, she doesn't need to roll back....
if she wants to keep him around, she has to level with him, that she might need a bit more help in that dept, and he's just the guy to do it... spicing up the bed as it where.

If she really wants to have the heart to heart, she could run with the "now that I really can trust you to take it another level..."

If she is faking it, and believes that this is all his fault, she may as well MOA.

All she really has to do is communicate her needs a bit better, wrapping it in as much or little sexytalk as she wishes, and he'll get the message..

this could really be as simple as saying: "I need a little bit extra attention, can you help me with that?"

guys can fix stuff, even if it requires extra behavior on his part...

but you don't need to go over the faking it with a backhoe.

the question is what to do moving into the future.
She must like him, or the first fling wouldn'a turned into the second or fifth.

Truth be told, there are prolly things that she does with him, that maybe he might like a lil' extra sumpin' ya'know?

She should never admit to faking it. Just tell him that THIS feels so much better and that THAT drives her wild. Can he do more of WOW!

If she doesn't know then he's in for trouble as time goes by.

She should never admit to faking it. Just tell him that THIS feels so much better and that THAT drives her wild. Can he do more of WOW!

If she doesn't know then he's in for trouble as time goes by.

Posted by: Bob in Texas at July 6, 2015 11:05 AM

Exactly. Faking an Orgasm is not a sin and often falls into the category of TMI.

If you want better sex, it is a better tactic to direct your lover to the places he needs to go in order to reach that goal rather than to get negative with him.

I take a great deal of pleasure into giving pleasure, and if at the end, my orgasm needs a manual assist, most loving men are perfectly fine with that.

If they take it as an insult, than they need a few lessons in female anatomy.

Which is why I don't recommend sex with random strangers. It is like picking up dinner at a greasy spoon. Sometimes it is fine, and other times you get unpleasant after effects.

That's why I like the new Apple Watch that can measure pulse rates. I give one to all my girlfriends.

" Faking an Orgasm is not a sin"

No, but it is a good indicator of how much truth you'll be enjoying in your relationship.

If you'll lie about something as intimate as this, you'll lie about anything.

" Faking an Orgasm is not a sin"

No, but it is a good indicator of how much truth you'll be enjoying in your relationship.

If you'll lie about something as intimate as this, you'll lie about anything.

Posted by: Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at July 6, 2015 12:14 PM

Define *lie* and I have never been asked point blank if I have achieved orgasm.

Is this the kind of grilling you want from a lover??

Like a home cooked meal, you wait for the compliment of how good a cook or lover you are, you don't attempt to beat it out of them....

I can't imagine being so insecure, as to need to quiz a sex parter about the quality or quantity of their orgasm.

The closest I have experienced is girl told after a few times she had been extra dramatic - being all Harry met Sally. It had seemed over the top and I had said something that I had not intended to reveal that but I think it did. It all seemed fine to me. But part of that is that it at least seemed to me that she was really enjoying both before and after the reveal.

I have dated several women who have need specific things and has all been fine with me.

It's funny, Amy, that you assume all of the Big O faking is done by women.

Sometimes after a long day and/or one drink too many, the extra effort to get over the top just isn't worth it. But female egos are very fragile, aren't they? Don't want them thinking they weren't worth the trouble...

I never cared whether my lady friends faked their orgasms or not, because most of the time, it's impossible to know. So I carried on my merry way, and at least one person in the coupling had a good time. From all accounts, the ladies enjoyed it as much as I did, so it's no big deal.

Two related questions:

1. Have any men faked orgasms?

2. Have any women faked faking orgasms (i.e. claimed to fake it when they were real)? Like when an arrogant jerk just rocked your world?

"I can't imagine being so insecure, as to need to quiz a sex parter about the quality or quantity of their orgasm. "

Or so dishonest as to fake one?

Or so dishonest as to fake one?

Posted by: Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at July 7, 2015 12:21 PM

I personally make pretty much the same noises when I am really enjoying myself as when I actually have an orgasm.

Unless someone wants to hook me up to an EKG, there would be scant difference.

People fake all sorts of things to be polite, including being happy to see someone ( which must be quite an effort when they run into you. )

There is no one more socially gauche, or disliked than an absolutely honest person.

They are boring, tedious and rude.

Here is the way I look at it. Faking an orgasm is like cheating.

First, you are being dishonest.
Second, sooner or later your going to try and find someone who can ring your bell.

I have little sympathy for women, or men for that matter, dissatisfied with their sex lives because they refuse to have an open conversations about their wants, needs, and desires

What this woman need to do is give her boyfriend a sex ed class.

First apologize for lying,

second explain that women are different then men - a lot of men really dont understand this, sure you've got more stuff but its not like you'all come with a manual, and if this guy has had a string of fakers he still doent know what he needs to know

third she needs to explain that even if he does everything 100% right she still might not have the Big O, which isnt to say she wont have enjoyed it