A Twitter Thing: Weird False Accusations By Creeps Who Pretend To Know Me
I guess this is a new thing on Twitter -- find a total stranger, act like you know them, and accuse them of something that couldn't possibly be true but that sounds ugly.
In this case, I've been accused of using "the n word" while "in our French class." Um, this is some yahoo from Somalia. Some Muslim guy who wants "a woman who is halal in the streets but haram in the sheets." Lovely. 
He looks to be about 20. I'm 51 and from suburban Detroit. Do you think @Ramadan_Abdul98 has a time machine?
Here -- just below -- is the first conversation, from Saturday morning. I saw in my Twitter notifications that they'd tagged me -- for some reason. Clearly a mistake -- so I thought. (See my request to "unsubscribe" at the bottom of this first conversation.)
It sure isn't me they're talking about. I don't say "the n word" -- ever. I got called a "kike" and more growing up. It was painful. I wouldn't use hateful language like that on anyone.
I also can barely open a Pellegrino bottle. The idea that I'd break any nose that isn't made out of cake and frosting -- well, it's not physically likely. Also, I'm not violent -- just hostile!...to the deserving.)
Second convo: 
And here we have creep #2: 
So...what's your guess on whether Creep #2 and I were in "French class" together in the Detroit suburb I grew up in -- the one that basically got populated by "white flight" from downtown Detroit?
Deputize one of your creeps, tell him he's your favored protector, and set him on the others.
Lastango at August 22, 2015 10:40 PM
Hilarious. I'm liking that suggestion, though not sure of its actual workability.
Amy Alkon at August 22, 2015 10:42 PM
It's a mistake to even make the first reply. You're just providing them with entertainment.
a_random_guy at August 23, 2015 4:10 AM
Ignore them. It helps your alibi.
Bob in Texas at August 23, 2015 5:24 AM
I first replied because I wanted to not be included in a conversation that seemed to be including me in using the "n word" and breaking somebody's nose.
I next replied for the same reason.
Amy Alkon at August 23, 2015 6:11 AM
People can attack me on Twitter for, say, being an idiot or whatever, but once you start accusing me of things I have not done, like saying the "n word" and punching people, I report you to Twitter for defamation. Which I did.
Amy Alkon at August 23, 2015 7:06 AM
Amy, I read this as you got your nose broken by Destiny and Ms. Gorest was trying to prevent you getting further beat up. To no avail as you apparently bled to death.
I could be wrong, the writing on these tweets is terrible.
Conan the Grammarian at August 23, 2015 8:15 AM
Do you think @Ramadan_Abdul98 has a time machine?
He might think so. I wouldn't rule out mental illness or meth intoxication.
Ken R at August 23, 2015 9:08 AM
I don't have twitter, Facebook, or any other social media accounts - and one of the reasons is for stuff like this.
Way back when the "internet" was the newest thing, like 1990 or so (OMG, has it really been about 25 years?!) I signed up for an AOL account. And similar things started to happen to me.
Nowadays, it would simply be called spam and a spam filter would take care of it.
But, it really bothered me that some of the emails would claim to know me and accuse me of such nonsense as well. I really didn't know why - what they were trying to gain.
Then one of the tech gurus at our company said that it was a way to see if your account was still active - they would know that by if you responded and when you responded (even years later it is still suggested to not even click "unsubscribe") your email response header contains critical information that they didn't have before. So, it was best to just delete the spam.
I don't know if this type of warning would apply to social media accounts; but, I would still not respond; instead just report them if the social media app allows for that.
I'm still in the "dark ages" and I'm okay with that.
charles at August 23, 2015 1:12 PM
French class? These shmoes need to be lifetime ESL students.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at August 23, 2015 1:38 PM
You mean you really don't remember that time you bled to death in French class? Huh. Weird.
Donnie Don't at August 23, 2015 7:04 PM
It's got to be a scam of some sort. The Nigerian scammers will try absolutely anything. Facebook is having a huge problem with people who create fake accounts to try to get access to group pages so they can spam then with scam offers. They ask to join the group and they try to act like they know people in the group. I manage a FB group for some of us who used to work for a now-defunct small company. Someone whose name I didn't recognize asked to join the group. His profile said he was a member of about 2,000 groups -- a mark of a scammer. I sent him a message asking him what his connection was to the group. He sent me back a message containing nothing but various smiley-face and thumbs-up icons. Idiot.
Cousin Dave at August 24, 2015 8:03 AM
But... They speak so well! I'm sure they're reasonable!
Ugg. Do not engage.
ahw at August 25, 2015 1:23 PM
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