Verbal Consent Is So HOT ("May I dry hump you?")
Verbal consent is what those pushing for those "yes means yes" rules want -- forcing college students to ask permission for every bit of sexual activity they engage in as their only way out of being prosecuted for sexual assault. (But even then, you have to wonder, when does proof mean proof and when can it be sanded down to not really proof at all?)
In the New York Post, there's a piece revealing exactly how hot this is. Maridel Reyes writes:
"May I dry hump you?"Julia*, 30, was at a date's apartment when the guy bluntly posed that question during a steamy moment on his couch. Barely able to contain her laughter, she made an excuse and promptly left. She appreciated the ask, but the wording? Definitely a mood killer.
Verbal consent is, thankfully, the new standard for sex as we move from a "no means no" to a "yes means yes" world -- but with that comes a potentially not-sexy moment for men and women when getting in bed together.
Maybe the federal government should leave demands that yes means yes to those engaging in the sexual activities. If this is what you need, you need to make it clear, and maybe hand out a set of FAQs and a consent form to sign to every person you date.
Mmmm, sexy!
After a cuddles-and-kisses-only sleepover with another date — not the dry humper — Julia took the initiative and told him that she was ready to have sex.
“He paused and looked at me very seriously and said, ‘Are you sure? We don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to,’ ” she recalls. “It was so sweet. It made me want him more.”
Ohh, tough luck. As the instigator she need to ask for his consent, as she did not, she is guilty of rape.
And Maridel Reyes, by refusing to inform the police is protecting a rapist from prosecution
lujlp at August 9, 2015 12:59 AM
The whole yes means yes crap is an attempt at population control by causing people to never have sex again. It completely kills the mood and then there is the fear that there wasn't proper consent for every little detail and you'll be jailed forever.
BunnyGirl at August 9, 2015 1:10 AM
On the (very much!) PLUS side, this idea will only be pursued by the helicoptered children now in college, alert to every microagression and trigger which may cause...
...thought.
Radwaste at August 9, 2015 1:40 AM
The problem is girls who feel uncomfortable saying no even when they want to, will reply yes anyways. This does not solve the problem.
NicoleK at August 9, 2015 4:41 AM
Wait until they inflict this on the rest of us, not just the poor unfortunate college students.
I R A Darth Aggie at August 9, 2015 5:44 AM
NicoleK is exactly right:
"The problem is girls who feel uncomfortable saying no even when they want to, will reply yes anyways."
Help people who feel incapable of saying no to say it; don't try to transform everybody's sex life. That "transform everybody's world" model worked really well in Prohibition. And continues to with the Drug War.
Amy Alkon at August 9, 2015 6:30 AM
Wait until they graduate and the disease escapes the laboratory and infects the general population!
David at August 9, 2015 7:04 AM
Well, I guess if a female is to fragile to be able to control her sexuality, and says yes just because it could be too uncomfortable to say no, then the precious little flower is unfit for adult independent life and should not be allowed out of the house without an adult chaperone.
If women are equal, then they need to sack up and act equal, not whine and wheedle. Too many people think they get the bennies without the obligations of being a responsible adult with agency. Fuck em.
rsj at August 9, 2015 7:09 AM
If I were a man, and especially if I were a college aged man, I would insist on videotaped consent. I would probably get the sex on video too. You know, just to be safe.
Beth C. at August 9, 2015 7:42 AM
"If I were a man, and especially if I were a college aged man, I would insist on videotaped consent."
Wouldn't help. She'll claim coercion.
Remember, guys: "No" means no, "maybe" means no, and "yes" probably means No.
dee nile at August 9, 2015 8:29 AM
“He paused and looked at me very seriously and said, ‘Are you sure? We don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to,’
Does that sound like "enthusiastic" consent to anyone?
lujlp at August 9, 2015 10:34 AM
"Does that sound like "enthusiastic" consent to anyone?"
Women don't need to get consent from males.
dee nile at August 9, 2015 11:36 AM
Beth: I would probably get the sex on video too.
You know, just to be safe.
Or to make some money!
JD at August 9, 2015 12:07 PM
So glad my college days were before all this crap.
Lobster at August 9, 2015 4:30 PM
Romance Novel Rewrite:
Then Count Manningswell whispered in her ear, "May I rip your bodice now?"
Rob at August 9, 2015 7:08 PM
Perhaps, this is why everyone before marriage (and even after) should only be doing hookups through tinder/grinder. That way they have documented consent in electronic form, including the "I like to do . . ."
Or better yet; go through UnDer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=le4rd8B37fk
A hook up and a ride!
charles at August 9, 2015 8:04 PM
"I were a college aged man, I would insist on videotaped consent. I would probably get the sex on video too. You know, just to be safe. "
Won't work. As Dee points out, she can still claimi that she was coerced, off camera. Further, she can claim that the video constitutes "revenge porn" and have the guy arrested on that basis.
Cousin Dave at August 10, 2015 7:24 AM
And I forgot to add: Or she can claim that she was intoxicated. That's the all-purpose trump card; it overcomes all other evidence. The guy can have signed and notarized written statements, and recorded verbal agreements, out the yazoo. But if she says she was drunk, all else is invalidated.
Cousin Dave at August 10, 2015 12:09 PM
It used to be better to have sex with a woman than to masturbate alone. Not any more.
Thanks, feminists (you know, the ones wondering where all the good men have gone)!
Jay R at August 10, 2015 12:44 PM
"a consent form to sign to every person you date."
That was my favorite part of 50 Shades of Grey.
smurfy at August 13, 2015 11:20 AM
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