My Boyfriend Raped Me Hello Again Last Night
Under "affirmative consent" rules on campus rules, each sexual act must be preceded by a request for consent. From a New Republic piece by Batya Ungar-Sargon:
Even within an existing relationship, verbal consent must be given. Must two married college students verbally consent to each other? The law stipulates the rather awkward condition that affirmative consent must be "ongoing throughout a sexual activity." Must a couple stop at every stage to reaffirm their consent?But there is a larger problem at stake in Bill 967. It is an argument of definition: A failure to procure "affirmative agreement" means that sexual assault has taken place.
Hans Bader writes at NCFMCarolinas.com:
As lawyer Scott Greenfield notes, progressive law professors have submitted a controversial proposal to the American Law Institute that the Model Penal Code be radically changed to require affirmative "consent" throughout society, for both "sexual intercourse" and a broader range of "sexual contact."On page 69 of their draft, they explicitly admit that this affirmative "consent" requirement would classify as sexual assault even many "passionately wanted" instances of sex (presumably because of the technicality that such mutually-wanted sexual intercourse is welcomed after -- not affirmatively consented to before -- the sex is initiated).
Perversely, they justify this massive invasion of people's sex lives as supposedly protecting people's sexual "autonomy" from potentially unwanted sex, even though their proposal goes well beyond banning unwanted sex, to banning sex that was in fact "passionately wanted" although not agreed to in advance.
Pretend, for a moment, that this has been passed.
Well, on Monday night, my boyfriend blew through the doorway and kissed me -- without any sort of petitioning of me as to whether I would be interested this activity.
I could have called the police and had him arrested. However, he had arrived with three Sous Vide-ed steaks and other fixins for dinner, so I must confess that I kept my mouth shut -- that is, until it was time to hoist a fork with a delightful looking piece of rare steak on it.
P.S. My actual policy has always been: Ask me if you can kiss me and the answer becomes no. (Ya big pussy.)








Only if they're not married to each other. Getting married in college is stupid anyway.
Patrick at February 3, 2016 6:51 AM
Idiotic.
PS As regulars here probably know, three hours after meeting me, my boyfriend walked me to my car, grabbed me and kissed me -- which is why he's my boyfriend, and not just "some cute guy I once talked to at the Apple computer store."
Amy Alkon at February 3, 2016 7:07 AM
So, can I just get the woman to sign a blank paper? I mean, I can fill in the details later, right?
The French have a word for this (of course!): carte blanche. Of course, one could ask the fictionalized Cardinal Richelieu how that worked out for his agent, Milady de Winter.
At least she didn't lose her head while giving head. Wut?
I R A Darth Aggie at February 3, 2016 7:13 AM
Oh, I R A -- these documents can be overturned.
Sex with a prostitute will soon become the only form of "safe sex."
Amy Alkon at February 3, 2016 7:17 AM
So, what, I need to get it notarized?
Signed consent forms for video taping of the encounter?
I doubt that prostitutes will be exempt from the law, tho what happens there is more plainly discussed.
I R A Darth Aggie at February 3, 2016 7:35 AM
> Signed consent forms for video taping of the encounter?
Apparently colleges are making the video taping grounds for expulsion.
So:
1. You get falsely accused of rape at college
2. You say, no, it was consensual I have the videotape to prove it
3. You still end up kicked out of college, because you taped the encounter.
Snoopy at February 3, 2016 7:40 AM
The law is being used to weaponize regret. The majority of sex in the above scenarios will never be prosecuted. But now if a woman feels regret the next day she has the power to ruin a man's(or another woman's)life. And this is called progress...
Shtetl G at February 3, 2016 7:51 AM
Some of my most romantic memories involve the guy just grabbing me and kissing me out of nowhere. Sad girls growing up now may never know that feeling.
Esther at February 3, 2016 8:27 AM
This is scary stuff, and not likely going to get better before it gets worse. If it keeps going, foreign invaders may just need to waltz in and say "well, you didn't get me to sign a consent form it was ok to counter-attack, we're going to sue."
*scribbles on hand* "...Ask me if you can kiss me and the answer becomes no." ;)
the other Patrick at February 3, 2016 10:25 AM
"Sex with a prostitute will soon become the only form of "safe sex.""
Only until the SEIU organizes them.
MBerg at February 3, 2016 10:29 AM
These kinds of laws are made by people who are scared of life.
Life comes with risks, offenses, and unpleasantness - along with rewards, affirmation, and pleasure.
Yes, there are stalkers and creeps out there, and we must guard our most defenseless citizens against them. However, there are also myriad stories about guys who didn't take no for an answer (my grandfather included) who persisted and got the girl, much to her eventual delight.
Conan the Grammarian at February 3, 2016 10:38 AM
"Ask me if you can kiss me and the answer becomes no."
It isn't just you, it is pretty universal. Many women also need some alcohol or total darkness to reduce their inhibitions. Any alcohol on a campus = assault and in total darkness you can't even look for facial expressions.
These laws violate basic human nature. The problem is that girls who don't know what they want and are insecure are trying to act like boys and having hookup culture, which they really don't want, so they have regrets, especially if he doesn't call again.
Craig Loehle at February 3, 2016 11:06 AM
No woman wants to think she was just another notch on a bedpost or the fodder of locker room braggadocio - even if she went in with a hookup as an objective.
Now, she thinks she has a weapon with which to get even.
Conan the Grammarian at February 3, 2016 11:29 AM
To protect your autonomy, we will micro-manage all aspects of your sexual interactions and mandate how those interactions are carried out.
-Jut
JutGory at February 3, 2016 11:36 AM
"But there is a larger problem at stake in Bill 967. It is an argument of definition: A failure to procure "affirmative agreement" means that sexual assault has taken place."
There's an even bigger one than that. Can a woman be charged for any sexual initiative she makes under this law, and if not, why not?
Jim at February 3, 2016 12:26 PM
"But there is a larger problem at stake in Bill 967. It is an argument of definition: A failure to procure "affirmative agreement" means that sexual assault has taken place."
There's an even bigger one than that. Can a woman be charged for any sexual initiative she makes under this law, and if not, why not?
Jim at February 3, 2016 12:30 PM
"Insisting on absolute safety is for people who don't have the balls to live in the real world."
There's an even bigger one than that. Can a woman be charged for any sexual initiative she makes under this law, and if not, why not?
Don't be silly. Of course not.
She doesn't have penis.
I R A Darth Aggie at February 3, 2016 1:40 PM
Progressives - People who are consumed with the thought that some where, some one is having fun, and are determined to make damn sure that a stop is put to it.
Wfjag at February 3, 2016 2:28 PM
> Progressives - People who are consumed with the thought that
Agreed, but where are the Republicans who oppose this?
Snoopy at February 3, 2016 3:46 PM
"Agreed, but where are the Republicans who oppose this?"
In California?
Ben at February 3, 2016 7:47 PM
Under "affirmative consent" rules on campus rules, each sexual act must be preceded by a request for consent.
Or dinner and a movie.
JD at February 3, 2016 8:52 PM
As a college woman who actually liked sex this would have totally ruined it for me. Of course understood that it was still my decision to allow someone to seduce me.
JT at February 8, 2016 1:50 PM
Yup, raped my wife this morning, and look forward to the next chance to do some more rapin'. Rape, rape, rape, rape, rape, rape ... how good it is! (I especially like when she rapes me, over and over again!)
My God, this makes women absolutely ridiculous creatures. And they insist on respect? Not likely.
Jay R at February 8, 2016 2:40 PM
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