Rent A Minority! Diversity On Demand!
Hilarious parody site that I'm sure some people will take as for realz.
Rent-A-Minority is a revolutionary new service designed for those oh-shit moments where you've realized your award show, corporate brochure, conference panel is entirely composed of white men. For, like, the fifth year in a row. Suddenly you're being called out on Twitter and you need to look not-racist and not-misogynist fast. Actually doing something meaningful to disrupt institutional inequality would be way too much work; so why not just Rent-A-Minority instead?
More:
We have a minority for every occasion. Whether it's a tech conference panel, an awards show, an advert, or a business meeting, we will collaborate to find the right minority for you. All of our minorities have been vetted to ensure they are not "too black" or "too Muslim" or "too much of a Feminist." We know how awkward that can be. Each minority comes with bespoke pricing based on a proprietary algorithm that analyzes current states of supply/demand and the Degree of Diversity (TM) intrinsic to the potential hire.
Featured minorities include:
Ethnically Ambiguous
Mexican? Arab? Asian? Mixed? What even are they?! It doesn't matter...the exotic Ethnically Ambiguous minority can be whoever or whatever you want her/him to be.Cheerful Woman of Color
Won't embarrass you by being "an angry black woman."Smiling Muslim Woman
Certified not to support ISIS (or your money back).Intellectual Black Guy
Good for tech conferences. Also available to stand next to you while you say racist things at parties. Because you can't be racist if one of your best friends is black, obvs.








Part of John Derbyshire's infamous "The Talk: Non-Black Version" which got him fired from National Review was reference to IWSB's, or "Intelligent, Well-Socialized Blacks" that Derbyshire claimed were in high demand by virtue-signalling whites, and thus in short supply, because there are only so many of them to go around. His premise was that an IWSB could write his/her own ticket.
Robert Evans at February 22, 2016 3:14 AM
Derbyshire was right about that. IWSBs get ~20% increase in pay in tech fields for the same skill level. But it has the downside of making blacks look stupid. Since they are so much more expensive people hire what they can afford and consequently the black guy is typically the least skilled person in the room.
Ben at February 22, 2016 6:24 AM
I'm reminded of the stories I've read about white people being hired by Chinese businesses in China just so they can have a white guy on hand. Like if there is a grand opening or a government ribbon cutting. Have a white guy in a suit makes it look so much more legitimate.
Shtetl G at February 22, 2016 12:49 PM
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