You know what I do when I get hate mail? I laugh hysterically and sometimes I publish it. Do you know what I do when I get rude tweets? Sometimes I block the person, and other times I ignore it.

Do you know what I don't do? Stop speaking up. Seriously ladies, you can do this. Stop being a wimp.

"And although men are technically just as likely as women to be harassed online, they're less likely to label the behavior harassment or abuse."

"Less likely" is a vague phrase that allows one to ignore or downplay data or behavior not conducive to your POV.

IOW, a minority of men do as a minority of women do and label this behavior as harassment or abuse. More of both sexes should ignore this behavior and continue to speak out.

(Kinda makes the study seem less women centric which was probably contrary to the POV being presented. There's no money in being part of the human race.)

Suzanne Lucas is a perfect example of how to be -- as an adult. This is exactly what I do.

I rarely block people, unless they keep tweeting me so repeatedly that they get annoying (because my notifications get filled up with their inane tweets).

Here's a bit from one of my emails recently to a reader who wrote me a rude, nasty, insulting email:

I hire somebody to question all of my work and blog commenters have changed my mind on issues in the past. However, none of these people have done it by being nasty or insulting.

The fact that I used evidence-based science behind my column is a call for celebration, not insults. I provided a plausible way to explain what this man experienced so he wouldn't tank his relationship. I think that's a good thing, and I stand behind what I wrote. I will let your email serve as a reminder that I need to be kind and civil in voicing criticism, not insulting. So I think I've turned this into a positive. All the best, -Amy

By the way, I have gotten death threats in the past in the mail -- back in the days when people faxed stuff a lot. I used to fax them to the FBI's something-or-other desk in LA.

Then I talked to an FBI agent. He told me that a guy in Boise, Idaho, who sends me a death threat, is really unlikely to buy a plane ticket, get on a plane, rent a car, get a hotel room, buy a gun (because you can't bring one on the plane), and track you down and off you.

That's a lot of effort.

Sure, it could happen. But it's mostly just talk.

Aside from present company, one woman I've always liked on the internet is Megan McArdle, The World's Tallest Econoblogger™, who became famous-ish in the bloggy years of our young century. She too talked about some fairly personal stuff in her fully public commentary, things that James Reston and George Will never got around to sharing in their newspaper columns: Experiences with personal finance, diet, geography, even minor themes of romance. To a casual consumer of her work, ie not-a-stalker, things appeared perfectly comfortable, as her topics were high-toned enough that one could imagine her being invisible to assholes, intrusives and violent types.

But on a couple of occasions she's described some of the crazy shit she's received, and it is bad.

Amy, I'd never mock you for your personal life, your family or your background or your money or your body or your love or your food or your religion or even your politics.

But that transparent shit about "evidence-based science" cracks my ass up: Game on.

"Conversations" online are mostly not about a real conversation (ie politics or social issues). On Facebook, it is personal interactions of friends. On blogs and news sites people get all riled up and yes, insult each other, and also don't stay on topic.
I would also note that men often show they are friends by calling each other rude names like "butthead" or swearing at each other. They generally don't take it seriously. Women never do this. Thus being called names on the internet might actually hurt a woman's feelings, but not a man's.

I have to disagree.

It's not about being a pussy. It's that people target women differently and most normal people just don't want to deal. That's why you mostly see awful comments on youtube and such since normal people just want to enjoy life without any sort of confrontation and tend to never comment.

I once had my picture up on a reddit local community sub and while I found the large influx of harassing messages hilarious I can see why most women wouldn't. Eventually I had a guy try to to hack into my instagram and I had various others send me several pages long messages, dick pictures, etc. Because women are physically weaker open threats are more terrifying.

Why deal if you're a normal woman with a normal life? You're not going to get any point across the majority of the time. So who cares.

buy a gun (because you can't bring one on the plane)

Actually, you can bring a gun on a plane.

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/12/11/how-to-fly-with-your-firearm/

You asked for a miracle, Theo. I give you the Eff Bee Eye.

-- Hans Gruber

But given Idaho's relative location, it is a mere 12 hour road trip from Pocatello to LA.

It's not about being a pussy. It's that people target women differently and most normal people just don't want to deal.

So what? Women have different priorities, fears, and aspirations than men, why wouldnt a "harasser" target those over what they would target when harassing a guy?

Toni is one of my new favorites.

Bravery is steadfastness in the face of overwhelming fear, you cannot be brave if you are fearless, nor if you demand that others be silenced and restrained to protect your personal philosophical bubble.
Too many people today have never known real adversity so the tiny bumps and bruises they receive are magnified out of all proportion to the real injuries they receive. If some of the special snowflakes out there had lived my life in the 70's and 80's in SW Detroit they would have suffered spontaneous combustion. They have never known the gut-gnawing hunger of being days or weeks without food. They have never seen the dead eyes of a real predator staring at them over the sights of a pistol or knife. They have never experienced being cursed by a wild-eyed hate filled crowd intent on spilling blood to relieve their inner pain by inflicting greater pain on their target. They have never heard the flat crack of a bullet speeding past their head as someone seeks to end their life with malice aforethought. They have never known the bowel loosening fear of standing a few feet away from someone intent on their death and feeling the pressure of a #2 pencil as they try to calm themselves in preparation of ramming that tiny stick of wood into the other guys eye.
Microaggressions disappear in the face of real knowledge of the death and destruction that western society keeps at bay. The tiny bumps and scrapes of civilized jostling become welcome reminders of just how bad the real world is outside of our little bubble of protection. The feelings of the special snowflakes lose all significance for those who have seen firestorms and know they can visit us at any time.
Sadly, I know that our coddling of the weak and helpless in our society makes its collapse much more likely as the snowflakes run riot, demanding that the ugly walls that protect them be torn down as offensive to their delicate sensibilities. They do not know what is on the other side of those walls, or imagine that they were erected only to shut them in.

"So what? Women have different priorities, fears, and aspirations than men, why wouldnt a "harasser" target those over what they would target when harassing a guy?"

You're missing my point. Women are targeted differently. If all I had to deal with online was being harassed like a man well lmao who cares. But when you're a woman men do things like try to dox your personal information to sexually harass you, hack into your personal accounts and influx you with a mad amount of dick pictures in a volume that just doesn't happen to straight men (I see it happen to pretty gay guys though).

Why would a NORMAL woman want to deal with that? Its not about being a pussy and not being able to take it. It's about wanting to have a peaceful existence.

When I have shown straight NORMAL men the volume of shit I have received (and I'm a nobody) first they don't believe it and then they are shocked. If you as a woman got no interest in being a public online figure then you will just censor yourself to avoid really personal harassment and stalking that serves zero purpose but to make you feel really shitty.

The internet is the favorite playground of lonely angry single men who are sexually frustrated. If you avoid them in real life why in the world would you not go out of your way to avoid them online too?

What is the point of speaking out online anyways from a normal people's perspective? Most places segregate online into echo-chambers of similar beliefs.

What is the point of bravery against mobs of anonymous angry lonely men who are technologically saavy if you ain't making a living from it?

> What is the point of bravery
> against mobs of anonymous angry
> lonely men who are technologically
> saavy if you ain't making a
> living from it?

Consider Cosh. Besides, bravery has its own purposes.

Look, if a discussion is futile, don't bother. But how will you ever be certain? We never know who's listening, or when. Being right, and expressing yourself well, are habits.

Sure you never know who is listening but most online conversations are unseen unedited garbage. So why ruffle your own feathers arguing against an anonymous mob?

I think both sides are wrong. One tries to paint is as women being silenced victims of the internet and the other side as women just not being brave enough to take the heat.

People don't want to deal with something they see as pointless confrontations. It might be behind a keyboard but people still get worked up. They've got personal lives to enjoy. I almost never bother commenting online unless the place is a small community where everyone knows everyone and there is a certain level of shame if you're being a rude turd.

I already got lunatic clients I have to confront personally on the daily no way in hell I'm interested in angry anonymous mobs. I suspect that's the deal with most people.

> I think both sides are wrong.

Affirmed. I mean, you could say just about any deprecatory thing you wanted about the popular mind in America in 2016, and we'd all have to agree.

I still don't know what Gamergate is and am not sure I'm asking.

Yet there's zero, zero doubt that men have always said horrible things about women to slow their competitive achievement in every context you could name, now including every corner of the internet. I can think of ten such occurrences described in my reading and conversations over the last three days, including the Hrdy link Amy posted yesterday.

But when women get all clucky about this, they're describing a baseline of personally supportive sharing in achievement that has never —so far as I know and that's not-too-terribly far— existed in any human culture. Within very alliances and families, sure. Whites exclude blacks. Brainiacs exclude the dim (and as of three weeks ago, the reverse). Straights torment the gays and on and on it goes. Ever get a new job? Other people in the enterprise who've been there longer will try to fuck you up. Sometimes because they want your resources and sometimes because their stepdaddy used to beat them. Men have always done this to each other. The better cultures, almost all of them, have therefore baked thick laminates of stoicism into their conceptions of admirable masculinity: Thou shalt not whine.

One heartening thing about Hillary's defeat last month is that very, very few voices ascribe her defeat to her femininity. She wanted to be judged as ambitious politician, not merely as a ceiling-cracking female exemplar.

And so judged she was. What more could Trump possibly have done to ensure that than beyond pussygrabbing jokes?

"But given Idaho's relative location, it is a mere 12 hour road trip from Pocatello to LA."

And, having been to both, one would have to be a little nuts to make the trip on one's own initiative.

In eastern Idaho, the official vehicle is a 4-wheel-drive that gets used, and is towing either a canoe or a snowmobile or a dirt bike. Rifles or fishing poles are inside, often in the back window, because few thugs are there. In Idaho Falls, a clear day means you can be in the foothills east of town with a telescope and count the buses at INEEL, ~50 miles west.

It's much like the UP of Michigan, where I once saw, early Sunday morning, a bike/ATV dealer's inventory still on the front lawn, there being no thugs to rob them. Ahhh.

and influx you with a mad amount of dick pictures in a volume that just doesn't happen to straight men (I see it happen to pretty gay guys though).

I'm sure if straight men got upset at dick pics the way women do they would receive more of them