There are many many reasons not to live in Chicago, a failed city in a failing state. That said, it depends on the job. And dont put any roots down there, for pity sake.

Ha. She should stay in New York, because if that is what she judges people on, no one will want to be her friend.

> There are many many reasons not
> to live in Chicago, a failed city
> in a failing state. That said, it
> depends on the job.

☑ Affirmed. If the job puts her in one of the new condos with a view of the lake (or of the city from the shore), a good life can be lived on Michigan Avenue with frequent visits to the Art Institute. There are big schools and people to talk to.
P
Just maybe don't settle in. Go easy on the pizza.

As a guy there is nothing wrong with being the big fish in the small pond. You just have to be confident that the situation is sustainable. It is no good to downsize and then keep downsizing because the smaller area offers less opportunity.

A similar part of this, as a parent you never should help your kids live beyond their means. You are making them the smallest fish in a bigger pond. They won't be able to afford the same things as the people around them. They won't understand the trade offs their neighbors are making. While thinking you are helping them you really are just making them feel poor and dependent. A recipe for unhappiness.

We Midwesterners also tend to have different ideas of "ideal body type" than those balsamic vinegar addicts from the effete East. Although as a Minnesotan I'd have trouble living in Chicago, I guarantee that the archetypical "thin" woman here is going to be quite a bit healthier and more filled out than the scary-thin New Yorker, and you're going to see a lot more comfortable people, men and women, whose German and Scandinavian roots and love of good cooking are apparent.

We like ourselves that way.

The only person who can make you happy is you. Much as I like Chicago, there is no way I'd ever move into that fiscal mess. But that's me. Weigh the advantages and disadvantages for yourself and choose accordingly.

I've had plenty of opportunities for more money with longer commutes and a lesser standard of living. I chose time over money. But again, that's me.

Ha. She should stay in New York, because if that is what she judges people on, no one will want to be her friend. ~ Beth Donovan at June 30, 2017 5:33 AM

Definitely this. Don't be an "it's better in New York [City]" transplant. North Carolina is full of those, as was San Francisco.

My late neighbor retired here from New York City and did his level best not to be that guy. He spoke of the positives here, versus New York (low cost of living, nice weather, friendly people, easy access to good medical care, etc.).

Although, on occasion, he did lament the lack of diversity in restaurants here; every other place is barbecue, good barbecue mind you, but forget finding a decent Thai place here. He was an American car buff (owned a '57 and an '05 Thunderbird) and totally got the NASCAR vibe here, even if he didn't go to the races.

If you don't like the bagels in Chicago, don't spend the next three hours telling everyone how much better they were in New York, go back to New York and have a damned bagel. And enough about the pizza.

The pizza is something the letter writer will have to adjust to. Chicago pizza and New York pizza are two different food groups. One wonders how they can both be called "pizza."

And beer. Chicagoans drink beer. There are a few nice wine bars with choices beyond "red or white" there, but by and large, the denizens there prefer beer, which may help explain that thin-fat thing she's experiencing.

Chicago has fantastic museums (art, natural history, science and industry, etc.), a plethora of sports teams (some are even worth the price of admission), history, a wide range of job opportunities, and plenty of day trips outside the city to interesting and fun places. It's also the cleanest large city I've ever seen. Don't let the crime, corruption, and -37º winter wind chill get you down.

I chose time over money. But again, that's me. ~ MarkD at June 30, 2017 6:46 AM

Just recently made that choice myself.

It can be an advantage to be a big fish in a little pond. When picking colleges, I chose the state school where I graduated with honors (this is 40 years ago when that meant something) rather than the ivy league where I probably would have flunked out.
As far as amenities, there is always a trade-off. I would never find the amenities in NYC to be worth the cost of living.

"if that is what she judges people on, no one will want to be her friend."

Except for people tired of gazing at beer-fattened land whales.

I was just offered a great job in Chicago.

That there should be the deciding factor. Is it better than your current job? will you have more money after taxes? is the cost of living different? how many friends will you be leaving behind? how hard is it for you to make new ones?

Once you get past a certain population size, the dating pool is large enough - one just doesn't have enough time date past a certain number of suitable people.

As far as it being Chicago, Chi-town is a big place, it pretty much stretches from the Wisconsin line to the Indiana line. If it's a great job, I'll presume they're located on the north side, so living choices will be plentiful and relatively quiet and safe.

Of course there's that whole Illinois is imploding vibe, but how far behind is NYC/NYState?

New York is significantly better off financially last I checked IRA. And honestly even if your state goes into bankruptcy, so what? Over the long term that has consequences but most of us can move and find work elsewhere. Unless you are on welfare from the state, work for the state, or sell services to the state it doesn't matter much for you. In all reality your job probably left the state long before the collapse. Which would be why the state is collapsing.

If someone is planning on moving for dating reasons I would suggest really researching the place before moving.

I was moving because I had to for a job. I did some quick research on the social scene and it looked better than where I was. Pretty good - not great. And in reality it is really horrible...in fact when I did the same type of research I found a different result. Really there are only 2 tiny neighborhoods that were ok...and only for the really young less than 27 at the oldest. I had thought my dating life would improve and it crashed instead.

I really don't understand why internet searches turn up such different results from where I used to live and now from here.

I really don't understand why internet searches turn up such different results from where I used to live and now from here.

Search engines take your zip code based on your IP address and tailor results accordingly.

Which is why I use a VPN & port forwarder to put me in a really shitty part of town when I go online shopping, saves me like 20%

If her prime prerogative in life is to mate, and she doesn't want to compete with all of those other thin, beautiful women in NYC, she could fulfill her biological imperatives far more expeditiously in, say, Birmingham, Alabama. It's also worth noting that if the females in a given city are fat, the males are probably a bit on the porky side, too. And there are risks; stay in one of these fat-people places for too long, and you might end up becoming one of them. Pass the blue cheese, please...