I had done something mechanically stupid and dangerous as a young engineroom sailor, and instead of yelling at me the officer in charge took me into the back of the office, had me sit down, and as he sat next to me he quietly told me that the worst thing he could imagine doing was writing to my family and having to tell them I died or that I was badly injured.
I would have simply tuned him out if he had yelled, but the quiet way he admonished me was very effective. (and nearly had me in tears)
I learned that day how to begin to be a good leader, and I wish I could tell him how important that lesson was to me.

John, exactly, exactly, exactly.

Same here, with my wonderful boss at Ogilvy.

Well, the feminists have been successful in insisting that bullying or condescending attitudes are the exclusive property of men and only women are ever on the receiving end of such boorishness.

That's why they coined the term "mansplaining." They have adroitly created the misperception that only men explain things in condescending and rude ways, and only when dealing with women.

It's quite remarkable as to how social justice works. Black activists such as the insufferable Tariq Nasheed, have successfully redefined the term "racism" to mean something that only white people can be.

Following suit, feminists have redefined "sexism" as something only men can be guilty of.

The plural of anecdote is not data. Both sexes can be bad bosses. I saw in a survey that women would rather have a male boss. How curious. While men can be more aggressive, women bosses can be unclear on what is expected or what one did wrong. And there are offices where women bosses blatantly will not hire or promote men--and they can get away with it because reasons.

Just more "evidence" that women aren't really adults, and can't endure the slings and arrows that life throws on many an occasion.

Why do so many women put up with this implied characterization? Is that because it is, in fact, mostly true?

Dear, oh, dear...

"I would have simply tuned him out if he had yelled, but the quiet way he admonished me was very effective. (and nearly had me in tears)
I learned that day how to begin to be a good leader, and I wish I could tell him how important that lesson was to me."

Funny how people are different. I could care less about having some JG or Ensign give me a quiet talking to. It meant a lot more to have a Chief screaming about what kind of an asshole did whatever stupid thing I had done to incur his wrath. I could care less about the no experience Jackass out of ROTC or Annapolis then or now.

At the risk of sounding like a wuss, I think getting yelled at by a guy would be scarier than being yelled at by a woman. Ultimately, I feel like if it got violent I'd escape with less damage if it was a woman. Not that I logically think it would but I imagine the illogical hormones would kick in at that point.

Biggest billies have always been girls or grown women.

A comment about bosses as leaders. Men understand being a leader or a follower. We play team sports (or used to before feelings took over). You need a captain usually. Men understand that a group is stronger with a strong leader. Women are uncomfortable being either a leader or a follower. They will gossip about the boss a lot, try to undermine, play one-up much more than men.

I've been shouted at, gossiped about, condescendingly spoken to, and called names by women in the workplace, what does that count as?

It's wild that Jessica Walter torpedoed the show because Tambor yelled at her.

She's either very sensitive or very vindictive.

It's worth reading David Cross' pathetically self abasing interview on Gothamist. He's getting crucified because his account suggests that she was behaving in a way that warranted an argument, but that Tambor went too far in shouting at her. It was also a one time incident.

What's also wild is how the #MeToo crowd is now insisting that yelling at a woman during an argument is 'sexual harassment' and all the men should be punished.

Social Justice.

Thank you!! I have been making some similar observations and the result has been people looking at me like I have 2 heads---or perhaps, like I must have no vagina or I would not say such incomprehensible things. As a life-long criminal prosecutor I've had about an equal number of male and female bosses who have been great, except for one man and one woman, each of whom were bad because they never communicated with me, or helped me in any way; they would just sporadically and mysteriously criticize me. Anyway, when discussing the "me too" issues as relates to the workplace, I said that I don't get why the issue is confined to the harm caused by anything even remotely sexually suggestive that comes from a boss or co-worker. I've been only slightly bothered by flirty comments coming men at work, but been very shaken by the nasty and unfair things said and done to me. The worst by far was some back-stabbing done by female coworkers.