Get Gratitudinal
A study on the power of gratitude (in the form of thank you letters) that Christian Jarrett posted on BPS Research Digest reminded me of the many studies I've read on the benefits of gratitude -- and how they've changed the way I interact with people: both strangers and people I'm close to.

Here's my tweet in response to the BPS piece:

Being told you made a difference -- whether you're someone's academic mentor or a phone operator they happen to get when they call the HMO -- gives your work meaning and your life meaning. It's huge.

This really doesn't take much on your part -- just planning to tell people when they've done right by you, from the "big" people in your life to the people you have passing encounters with every day.

The phone operator example is one of those. It's rotten to have some dead-eyed drone be the one who answers your call when you ring the HMO. And when I say "dead-eyed," yes, it's a phone call, but I swear you can hear the dead eyes thing.

Everything goes so much better and you're so much less stressed when you have the other kind of operator, the kind, competent one.

Well, open your mouth and say so -- at the end of the call: "I just want to tell you, I would have been really stressed about this, but you were so kind and really knew your stuff, and it made this really pretty easy."

That's all.

Did somebody's work or thinking make a difference in your life, the way you do your job, your career path? Tell them. Even by sending an email.

It's good for you -- and it's good for them, and it's good for the two of you. I write in a section on gratitude in my "science-help" book, "Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence":

Social psychologists Sara Algoe and Jonathan Haidt find that expressing gratitude--in your own thoughts and to the per- son who's done something kind for you--seems to strengthen bonds between people. The gratitude seems to work as a sort of emotional Post-it note, reminding both people in a relationship how good they have it--which is all the more reason to keep investing and keep appreciating.