Meet RaSTRAWnikov!
Raskolnikov is the murderer in "Crime and Punishment."
No, not to worry -- nobody's bashed a mean pawnbroker over the head in Santa Barbara.
Katherine Timpf reports at NRO that Santa Whackobarbara has just passed an ordinance authorizing jail time for handing out plastic drinking straws. It "will allow restaurant employees to be punished with up to six months of jail time or a $1,000 fine for giving plastic straws to their customers." Yes, really. Timpf writes -- and I totally concur:
Now, I'm a reasonable person. I may be a libertarian, but I'm glad that we live in a society with laws. For example: I am glad that if a person, say, murders another person, then that murderer has to go to prison. That seems totally fair to me. But six months in jail for handing a little piece of plastic to another person? I feel like you'd have to be bananas to think that's even close to fair.This is especially true when you consider just how small an impact these straw bans are going to have on the environment. As Reason notes, straws represent only 0.02 percent of the amount of plastic waste that is estimated to go into the ocean each year. What's more, the United States is responsible for only about 1 percent of the total amount of plastic waste that's in the ocean overall. All things considered, this new ordinance isn't going to be making a real dent in the problem it's intended to solve -- but it could create some harm. As Reason explains, straw bans could end up having a negative impact on disabled people who cannot drink without them.
Still, plastic-straw bans are becoming more popular. There are efforts to ban them in New York City, San Francisco, Portland, and Washington, D.C. Colleges nationwide -- from Knox College in Illinois to the University of Portland to Duke University -- have already banned them.
As I've written in the past, I have absolutely no problem with individual businesses making the decision to stop using plastic straws. But getting the government involved in what people choose to drink liquids out of seems like a bit of a stretch, and sending people to jail over it is just plain asinine.
And just a little upstate:
But you can still poop in a bag and leave it on the street sooooo https://t.co/tMsItPrk4p
— Emily Zanotti (@emzanotti) July 25, 2018
Six months in jail for handing someone a plastic straw? Jailing skeptics of Anthropogenic Climate Change? Jail time for hate speech? Hate crimes? See a pattern here?
Conan the Grammarian at July 25, 2018 6:15 AM
How long before we scour old Facebook and Instagram posts for shots of people drinking from plastic straws, and then drive them out of sociey?
dee nile at July 25, 2018 6:58 AM
From the otherwise miserable Star Wars: A Phantom Menace
Bad guy to Palpatine: My lord...is it legal?
Palpatine: I will make it legal.
https://youtu.be/nz20lu2AM2k
Or in this case, illegal. A local eatery has sort of jumped on the bandwagon. Oh, they still have plastic straws. What they're offering to customers is the opportunity to buy a hand blown glass straw for $5. Knowing the ownership, I'd guess they're making a profit from each sale.
As PT Barnum is alleged to have said, it's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money. But as I told a bartender who kept insisting on sticking a straw in my whiskey & coke, straws are for imbeciles and children.
I R A Darth Aggie at July 25, 2018 7:37 AM
I usually use invalids instead of imbeciles IRA.
Ben at July 25, 2018 9:00 AM
then: jail for snorting coke through a straw
now: jail time for drinking coke through a straw
smurfy at July 25, 2018 9:14 AM
I am taking a drink to the car to drink --a straw helps a whole lot. Tough for me. Women often like to drink from straws to preserve their lipstick. Tough for them.
I thought mindless virtue signalling had reached a limit, but apparently not. Reminds me of a few years ago when Seattle decided it would no longer salt the streets because the salt was polluting....the ocean. Sure, too much salt is bad for lakes, but the ocean? Of course putting sand out didn't work and clogged the storm drains and sometimes police could not even respond to emergencies, but we must sacrifice to make the world a virtuous place.
cc at July 25, 2018 10:48 AM
Some people on Facebook asked "why do you need a straw?" Well, I don't NEED a straw, but I have found that when I'm driving, it's safer to take a drink that way. I don't have to take my eyes off the road. I also have some mobility issues due to arthritis, so it makes it easier for me. But I guess saving the planet from another make-believe problem outweighs my difficulties. I'm sure next week, they'll ban pencils to prevent lead poisoning. Pretty close to the same logic.
Jim Armstrong at July 25, 2018 1:27 PM
As someone else pointed out, California has reduced knowingly giving someone HIV from a felony to a misdemeanor. With this law, Santa Barbara has decided you're just as bad if you knowingly give someone a straw!
Criticas at July 25, 2018 3:49 PM
But as I told a bartender who kept insisting on sticking a straw in my whiskey & coke, straws are for imbeciles and children.
_________________________________
The real imbeciles are those who PAY for straws at supermarkets because little kids cry for them. I.e., parents. (Hint: Kids will cry Every Night over, say, having to go to bed on time. If they're allowed to.)
lenona at July 25, 2018 4:54 PM
Hmm, I have to ask - what is the punishment, if any, for handing out needles for drug abuse; and that eventually get left lying around for others to step on?
Or does the local/state government use tax payers' money to give those out?
charles at July 25, 2018 5:02 PM
I always thought that straws were created mainly so that a woman could drink a beverage without ruining her lipstick.
Cousin Dave at July 27, 2018 8:41 AM
Psst. Wanna buy some straws, man? I got the bendy ones.
Conan the Grammarian at July 27, 2018 2:14 PM
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