Here, hold my Warmbier.

Tragically awful. (North Korea, for anyone who doesn't remember.) Alleged schoolboy prank ultimately led to death of Warmbler.

I cannot begin to fathom how anyone who has the slightest experience or knowledge of a world outside their own bedroom could ever travel to one of these totalitarian countries for pleasure/vacation.

Beyond comprehension especially as to why a woman would engage in this lunacy.

This is why there are very few women at the top of oil companies. To get to the top you have to work in the core business which is out in the field in rural 3rd world areas. Areas that are very unfriendly to women. They aren't that friendly for anyone but it is indisputably worse for women.

They go on these trips because they're not expecting to be monitored by the state security service(s).

If you go to Cuba, and venture out of the touristy areas, your cab driver is either an informant, or an actual agent. They watch were you go, whom you meet, whom you speak with. Within the touristy areas, they're watchful but at a distance. Don't want to make the tourists too nervous before parting with those sweet, sweet yankee dollars.

North Korea is worse. I would expect that anyone who you are allowed to meet, or speak with, is an agent with state security. Unless you're a wannabee spook, how does that get fun?

Alleged schoolboy prank ultimately led to death of Warmbler.

Show me the man, and I'll show you the crime.

Schoolboys are 9 or 10. Warmbier was a 22-year-old man who went on a drinking/adventure holiday to the sun-n-fun spot of North Korea.

I've got a great idea: let's travel to Godless North Korea and bring salvation to the ignorant heathen communists!

WCGW?

This is why there are very few women at the top of oil companies. To get to the top you have to work in the core business which is out in the field in rural 3rd world areas. Areas that are very unfriendly to women. They aren't that friendly for anyone but it is indisputably worse for women. ~ Ben at March 6, 2019 6:32 AM

I knew two people who worked for oil companies and travelled extensively to Colombia in the '80s, one a man and the other a woman. They told very similar stories, but from different perspectives.

He worked as a mechanic on an oil rig deep in the jungle. She travelled to offices in Cartegena and Bogata. Both described being warned of the dangers of wandering out of the secured area, especially at night. He was wary of guerrillas and she was wary of kidnappers. Despite working in the US with several people from Colombia who told me it was a beautiful place, I harbor no desire to go there.

I like civilization and wonder about the long-term effects of leaving our heritage sites under the control of the kind of primitivist people who'd blow up Palmyra or the Buddha statues for imagined slights form centuries ago.

I have a lot of upper-middle class acquaintances who love to travel the world. They seem to think I'm a rube if I raise concerns about them traveling to Morocco, Jordan, Turkey (to name a few specific spots they visited). Maybe they're right. All I know is that reading the books "Never Pass This Way Again" and "Not Without My Daughter" put me off such adventures. The first is about a middle-aged woman who went on an afternoon excursion in Turkey from a cruise ship and accidentally bought what was apparently a genuine antique from a street vendor. Years in Turkish prison resulted. The second concerns an American woman who married fellow student from Iran. He was totally normal until they went back to visit his family along with their young daughter. He then refused to let her leave and she had no legal recourse because as a married woman she had zero rights.

I'd like to visit Istanbul at some point (my younger sister, her husband and their two kids went there about fifteen years ago and loved it), and I suspect the risk of an "average Joe" (or Jane) ending up being arrested on some fabricated charge is extremely slight, like about the same as dying in an airplane crash. That being said, there are many places in Europe I want to see so I'm not in any Bosphorush to marvel at the Hagia Sophia or watch the ice cream vendors play tricks with ice cream.

As a side note, when I was in New York two springs ago, the first Saturday I was there was rainy so I decided to see a movie I had missed in Seattle: Kedi, about stray cats in Istanbul and the people who look after them. Very charming film.

I saw it at a cool historic theater on Houston St, the Sunshine Cinema (just a few blocks from the famous Yonah Shimmel Knish Bakery) and I'm glad I went there when I did because the theater was sold later that year to developers who are going to erect yet another office building.

@RigelDog,

Head to Costa Rica, it's a great place if you're doing the Ecotourism thing, and the worst that could happen to you is bot fly maggots under your skin, but that's a bonus if you take a video of it and share it with your town's local news team.

Another place to visit would be the Bay Islands in Honduras; thanks to the fact that the sea separates it from the Murderland, it's safe enough for large cruise ships to park there. Plus, Christoper Lambert lives there.

Then there's Belize. Because it was colonized by the British instead of the Spaniards, it's not a crumbling shithole like the nations surrounding it. It's next to the second biggest coral in the world and unlike the Australian reef, the place is not loaded with creatures whose only purpose in life is to kill humans. John MacAfee -founder of the MacAfee Associates software company- had one hell of a coke-infused party that lasted for years there. Just remember to pretent that those speedboats carrying corn starch don't exist mmkay?

"... extremely slight, like about the same as dying in an airplane crash."

If you are on a third world airline then the risks of that crash aren't that slight.

But yes, if you stay in touristy areas and mind your manners then the risks are pretty low. The consequences are still catastrophic if you win those statistical sweepstakes. But the likelihood of winning is low. That said don't wander off the beaten path. Governments want that foreign money. They don't want to scare off that source of income. But if you aren't in the areas set aside for that your risks go way up.

Please add Mexico to the list of countries that no sane American would vacation in.

You may be safe-ish in the tourist areas but but bad things have happened to people who don’t watch their drinks. Robbery is the least of it.

My husband has a bunch of family in Dubai and we have made a day-long stop there on our way to India the past couple times. All the “public indecency” laws concern me, but it’s not like I do much when there besides hit the giant mall and hang out with the family in their suburban home.

For the record, all of my husband’s relatives in the UAE are apprehensive about visiting the US for various reasons (violent crime, mostly, and concern that “everyone has guns”). Visa requirments aside.

@Isab I’ve had a great time in Mexico and just got back last week.

There are defiantly areas that are no-go for me in the country (no border cities, and any states in the state department no-travel list). But I do like Mexico City (been three times), Oaxaca and various resort cities. The fear many US travelers have keeps it cheap. And flights from TX are short.

That said, the “Mexico and Brazil, etc. are perfectly safe and maaaaaaagical” travelers drive me nuts. Specific and targeted travel advice is smart, whenever you go. Anyone who is not willing to do a city-specific risk analysis (make that neighborhood-specific in Mexico City) should probably not go to Mexico (or many countries or major cities, really).

I always pass on drinking at the resorts in Mexico (due to the proven risk of being poisoned by bootlegged alcohol).

Sofar, People think the same about Japan, mostly because Japan works hard to maintain that image. Pretty safe for Americans and there are no guns, except for the police, and organized crime,

That said, if I was not an American under the protection of the Status of Forces agreement, there are places I would not go, expecially Yakuza controlled bars, and areas of the major cities that are controlled by organized crime.

Japan is death on criminals that prey on Americans because they are extremely sensitive to bad press internationally.

When you can read newspapers in Japanese, you find out that crime is a bigger problem than most think it is.

Feeling *safe* and being safe are often two totally different things. But of course in the hyper triggered American left, someone saying something that hurts your feeling is on par with being mugged in an alley.

"...evangelicals in the U.S. have been good at mobilizing to support Brunson's case."

That's true. There were 20 American citizens arrested around the same time on charges related to the attempted coup. Brunson is the only one I've heard anything about, and that mostly through Facebook.

If someone who matters to you ends up in some foreign prison I guess the thing to do is generate as much publicity and sympathy as you can and then appeal to politicians to come to the rescue.

Pastor Brunson had been living in Turkey for 23 years when he was arrested.

Agreed Sofar. If you are willing to do your due diligence there are lots of places you can go safely. But most people aren't willing to do that, and they should stay in the tourist areas with lots of foreigners.

And sometimes you just have bad luck. A friend of my father was flying into Turkey on business a year ago. Unfortunately the army was 'working' in the area that day. After they got off the plane the area got sprayed with bullets. She didn't get hit but a few people near her died. Not a common thing for that area of Turkey. But hey, sometimes you just get unlucky.

The best time to visit the Caribbean is in January. The weather is not a chokin hazard like the rest of the year.

Just remember to check the weather in New York City. If there's a Winter storm battering it, that means there's going to be a torrential downpour at the very early a week later down in this region.

The worst time to visit here is during the Easter Holiday. It's crowded as fuck, there's plenty of thieves who have no problem at all popping you like a zit because the cops are in for it too.

It's also a very bad idea to go to the beach during the Easter Holiday because that's also Jellyfish spawning season. You're going to look like a dalmatian with ginger dots all over your body thanks to all those baby jellyfishes caressing your entire body with their stingers.

Some of this naive traveling I put down to press and academics giving a complete opposite picture of reality to people. Didn't wide groups declare the US one of the top unsafest countries for women a few months ago. College campuses are pushed as hotbeds of rape culture, and Islam is declared a religion of peace. If any of that is believed than Turkey must be safer than any US college, except they aren't.

I love Sixclaws’s advice because it’s such a good example of what kind of travel advice is useful. “Avoid this specific area at this time, but travel here at this time instead. Follow these tips and you’ll have a better experience and minimize risk.” There are very few places where it’s accurate to say, “Avoid every square inch of this country.”

@Ben yes, unluckiness sometimes just happens. Patterns of crime or violence (targeting tourists) are one thing, tragic unluckiness is another, even if you stay home.

Ben, speaking of airline crashes...

I realize the risk of an airplane (non third-world airline) crash is extremely low, so I've never been too afraid to get on a plane (nor do I think I ever would be.) However, since (1) I knew someone who died in a crash and (2) also had a "temporal close call" with another crash, I'm very aware that the risk is very real.

(1) Back in the late '90s, I met a woman at a party here in Seattle who was going to a local naturopathic school. She was originally from New York (City) and when she graduated, she moved back to the East Coast (to Connecticut) to help bring the naturopathic "gospel" back there. A few years later, I ended up meeting another woman who was going to the same naturopathic school. In the fall of 1998, she told me that she read in the school newsletter that a former graduate living on the East Coast had died in the Swissair Flight 111 crash. I had a sinking feel it was the same woman I dated. I asked my girlfriend who the woman's name was and, sure enough, I was right. What makes it even more sad is that this woman was flying to Geneva where her boyfriend was going to propose to her.

(2) That same second naturopathic school girlfriend & I flew to Puerto Vallarta for Christmas 1999, flying back to Seattle a day before New Year's Eve. We flew on Alaska Airlines both ways. Just about a month later, on January 31, 2000, an Alaskan Airlines flight (#261) flying the same PV-to-Seattle route crashed into the Pacific near Los Angeles.

Wrote Joe J:

Some of this naive traveling I put down to press and academics giving a complete opposite picture of reality to people.

Ah, those darn press and academics ...

The State Department had an advisory in place against traveling to North Korea, where he'd be beyond the American government's power to directly help him. Otto's parents weren't thrilled by the trip, but as his mother later explained, “Why would you say no to a kid like this?”

I could do Dubai for a few weeks. I just couldn't say Allah, bad! in public, and I'd have to watch out for knife-weilding, black bag-wearing madwomen.

sofar: tragic unluckiness is another, even if you stay home.

Indeed, and I can speak to that.

During my nearly 40 years here in Seattle (after moving from Minnesota), I've been the victim of numerous property crimes but never any violent crime.

That streak ended two weeks ago, on the evening of February 19th.

I came back from the grocery store, via the bus, to discover my car -- parked in front of my house (I don't have any off-street parking) -- had been broken into. Just as I was finished cleaning things up, a car abruptly pulled up and two guys jumped out. The passenger, a smaller guy, immediately went to my driver's side door and tried opening it. The driver, a very big guy wearing a black ski mask, immediately ran over to where I was, yelling "Where's my phone? Where's my fucking phone? This is my car...where's my fucking phone??!!" It happened so fast, and he kind of boxed me in between my car and fence, that I had nowhere to run.

I said to him, "Dude, this is my car and I don't know anything about your phone." and had barely finished saying that when -- WHAM!!! -- he slammed me in the left side of my face with his big fist. I have three facial fractures and had surgery last Friday, with my teeth wired shut for a month, to (hopefully) correct my bite which one of the fractures knocked out of alignment. Plus, I've got numbness on the upper left part of my face which the surgeon said may not go away if the nerve damage is too great and, even if it does go away, may take 6-12 months to do so.

They may eventually catch these assholes committing some other crime but, even if they do, they wouldn't be able to tie them to the assault on me and, even if they could, I wouldn't be able to ID the thug because of his ski mask.

"do Dubai"

Said the little boy as he watched it get flushed down the toilet.

Yes, we on the Advice Goddess blog do not use the term "do" in such a fashion, rather. Go home, you proletarian deplorable!

@JD holy HELL. That is insane and terrifying. I can’t imagine how horrifying that was to live through and it’s so frustrating that these assholes may never have to pay for what they did. I wish you all the recovery possible. This world is full of awful people.

Sorry that happened to you JD.

JD: I'm really really sorry that happened to you. Those guys sound like they are pretty practiced at what they do. In real life, people who get punched hard in the face get facial fractures and lots of other damage. Prayers for your complete healing!

Thank you, sofar/Ben/RigelDog.

Yes, RigelDog, we all know that fight scenes in movies and TV shows are staged but, having had this happen in real life, I'll never look at them quite the same way again. Fascinating how the characters can punch each other multiple times in the face and then, the next day, they might have just a small cut.

I'm trying to keep my focus on it-could-have-been-much-worse, because it certainly could have been. I could have had my jaw broken and/or eye damaged and/or teeth knocked out. Or the asshole in the ski mask could've had a knife or gun.

Or, how about this for a strange coincidence? The friend who brought me home from surgery on Friday evening took me to his house for the weekend where he and his lovely wife took care of me. I returned the favor by building a small patio for them next to an L-shaped part of their deck (my mouth hurt like hell, but I wasn't disabled.) On Saturday my friend & I drove to a Lowe's to get pavers for the patio. A guy in his late '60s asked me what I was looking for. I told him and apologized for not speaking very clearly since my mouth was wired shut. He said "That's OK. I understand. My son has had jaw cancer, with a recent reoccurence, and wears a mask all the time because his mouth is disfigured." It's hard to complain when you know some poor guy has had something like that happen to him.

As for these two thugs, I'm guessing they were on meth or some other drug. That's the only reason I can think of why he yelled "This is my car" when it clearly wasn't. I figure they had broken into other cars in the neighborhood the same evening, realized they had dropped a phone somewhere and were retracing their path to try and find it. I was hoping the police would find it in my car when they came but, alas, no such luck.

In light of what happened, something that made me furious was a news report a week ago on Monday, about how 100 repeat offenders in King County were responsible for around 3,600 offenses. One guy in particular had been convicted 72 times, including 14 times for assault, yet the Seattle city attorney agreed to release him back on the street with probation and credit for the 50 days he had spent in jail. Fortunately, a judge rejected the plea deal but this guy still got sentenced to only 364 days in jail. He'll be released and will undoubtedly assault more people and probably won't face any severe punishment until he actually kills someone.