Not to bore anyone with it yet again, but I've long admired this column from Big Mac, and have shared it with people who needed & benefited from its clear reasoning.

...but I've long admired this column from Big Mac.... ~ Crid at January 29, 2020 10:40 PM

I need to send that to my mother-in-law who is considering cosigning a car loan for her deadbeat grandson whose car was just repossessed.

"But he needs a car to get to work." Um, you can have a job and still be a deadbeat, still be a bad credit risk.

I really don't get my in-laws. There were eight children and half of them are smart, industrious, and stable. The other half is composed of deadbeats, dropouts, and spendthrifts. Needless to say, one side of the family won't talk to the other side, much to my mother-in-law's distress. She wants them all to be one big, happy family. They never will be; the divide has grown too large. MIL's trying to fix too many problems with financial and emotional band-aids.

I have been asked: "if you're a libertarian, what is your moral foundation?" Well, first of all, a libertarian is not a libertine -- in many ways, they are opposites. However, as I like to tell people here, most of our Western morals have a logical reason behind them, because they are the result of lessons learned by our ancestors. So I hold to the concept of enlightened self-interest -- what is good for the people around me will usually be good for me too. It behooves me to assist others, when said assistance is reasonable and rational.

(The "reasonable and rational" bit goes to what Conan was discussing above. There is no point in giving aid to people who won't use said aid for its intended purpose. In fact, I can argue that said aid is immoral, because aid given to the irresponsible is aid that isn't given to the responsible, where it would do more good.)

I need to send that to my mother-in-law who is considering cosigning a car loan for her deadbeat grandson whose car was just repossessed.

If it is that important to her, buy him the car straight up. If she needs to take out a loan, take it out in her name only. Also, put her name on the title. Make him pay the insurance. If he doesn't, take it back. Also: buy him a beater. It might not be great, but it's better than riding a bike or the bus.

The other half is composed of deadbeats, dropouts, and spendthrifts. Needless to say, one side of the family won't talk to the other side

That's a division because some of those people believe it is their right to be able to leach off the first half. Charlie Daniels might be instructive:

'Cause I ain't asking nobody for nothin'
If I cant get it on my own
If you don't like the way I'm livin'
Just leave this long haired country boy alone

I have done my best helping by finding jobs for people, hiring them as contractors, or giving them consulting work. We take food to sick friends and go the the hospital for people.
Direct giving cash? no.

Even giving work can turn out poorly. A lesson my father has failed to learn over and over again.

There was a guy who was a general contractor who lived down the street from us when I was growing up. Construction is cyclical. So one down year my dad decided to help him out and have him build a shed in our back yard. It clearly moved my dad from the 'friendly neighbor' bucked into the 'sucker with cash' bucket after that.

Thankfully even dad had limits. I have a cousin who at the time was living with his mother. The house had a hole in the roof. So dad offered to buy some shingles and plywood and my cousin could go fix the roof. My cousin's response was 'What are you paying me?' and instantly killed the deal. In the end the city condemned the house and kicked everyone out before leveling it.

Can't find it, but in the Amy Dickinson column, a reader said that when people ASK you for a loan, the best thing to do is often this (not verbatim). Hand them $10 and say: "When you pay this back, it will be a loan. Until then, it's a gift. But this is the biggest - and only - GIFT I will give you."