A guy on Twitter said something brilliant on Wednesday:

"Social distancing" is the greatest failure of public rhetoric since "homeland security"… Similarly wrought in a time of crisis, and a similarly oblivious and destructive corruption of the values and connections we hold most dear."

• "The World Health Organization spends twice as much on travel as it does on medical supplies, according to its most recent financial report."

• Wuhan baptism.

Humanity is totally the problem.

The truck driver's dog is named Moochie. Moochie survived unscathed.

John Wayne in The Train Robbers.

If anyone tries to cross that river before we're out of sight - baptize 'em.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070825/quotes/qt0518211

Speaking of robbers, what good does the WHO do?

We are up to 6.6 million people who've lost their jobs in the last two weeks. That is 5.1%.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/another-3-1-million-americans-likely-sought-unemployment-benefits-last-week-11585819800?mod=hp_lead_pos1

The MyPillow guy is getting the Milkshake Duck treatment.

https://twitter.com/KlasfeldReports/status/1245436192876892162

Meanwhile, in Cincy, the Po-po has released a list of crimes they won't respond. Ihave a question: if one spits on someone, is that considered assault with or without injury?

https://twitter.com/NicoleArbour/status/1243362543118077952

Sometimes, the ads just write themselves.

“This is a tremendous opportunity to restructure things to fit our vision,” Majority Whip James Clyburn (D-S.C.) told lawmakers, according to a source on the call.

https://twitter.com/jimgeraghty/status/1242141302059343874

Glen Greenwald calls out Morning Joe

Look what a pathological liar @JoeNBC is. Today he said about the coronavirus pandemic in the US:

"Everybody saw this coming in early January."

Number of
@JoeNBC
tweets in January by topic:

Impeachment - 29
Election - 11
Sports - 7
Coronavirus - 0

https://twitter.com/ggreenwald/status/1245333565929328644

If you continue down the replies, you'll see other instances of things said at the time by "experts" and "journalists" that haven't aged well, and would be scheduled for the Memory Hole treatment.

"Dang!"

More 'hysterics' for Ben and Momof4.

Via @robkhenderson, we may need to be brushing up on some particular skills—

"My advice is to make very slow and careful decisions about whom you include in your life, and very fast decisions about whom you exclude."

• Assuming a couple weeks for post-production, this was almost precisely the hour that the virus made the jump to humans.

• A baby swordfish.

Real classy Crid. You keep rubbing yourself with the corpses of strangers. That and posting evidence that I'm right about masks seems to be what keeps you going.

• Sorry - A baby swordfish.

• I've already harshed M4 pretty deeply this morning, but Bloomberg News really scratches— "NY has the most confirmed cases in the US but strikingly, 1 in 5 hospitalizations are occurring in people under age 44."

Bensyboy, you're not the authority from whom I'd seek guidance about masks, let alone 'class.'

If you think things are bad now, in a few decades this country will be run by people who were homeschooled by day drinkers.

~ Argus Hamilton

1 in 5 hospitalizations are occurring in people under age 44

That linkie is giving a "404 not found" error. Oh. A stupid period got tagged on for some reason.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-04-01/coronavirus-in-young-people-ny-patients-skew-younger-some-die

If life has you down, here's a sea otter cam.

https://www.montereybayaquarium.org/animals/live-cams/sea-otter-cam

Yak it up, fuzzball!

First is a short vid of a yak doing a handstand followed by a flip. The second is a grizzly bear deciding that a traffic cone was offending his sense of aesthetics.

https://twitter.com/NaturelsLit/status/1198901209207148544

https://twitter.com/NaturelsLit/status/1245185176855908352

1 in 5 hospitalizations are occurring in people under age 44

I wonder how many of this is related to underlying conditions? sure, you feel great and nothing aches, and your physical recovery time is small and you feel immortal. I doubt very many know who Len Bias was...unless they happened to catch that 30 for 30 ESPN episode.

> stupid period got tagged on

Thanks!

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-04-01/coronavirus-in-young-people-ny-patients-skew-younger-some-die

• The yak almost appears to have been doing an "In-your-face, vanquished adversary!" maneuver, aka 'I *meant* to do that.

> your physical recovery time
> is small and you feel immortal.

The videos last month from the tawny and toned butt-luge beer drinkers were offensive, but we don't want to be too fanatic about thinking we know how someone got it, or whether or not they bear some responsibility.

(The City of L.A. just sent me a text asking me to sign up for the test online. Will do it after lunch.)

Growing your own food is not essential

https://twitter.com/SophNar0747/status/1245759366541783040

I can't figure out that white thing on the yak - it doesn't look right, somehow.

And, re the toilet paper...

I don't get why people didn't ALREADY have plenty of toilet paper, before March. Who wants to risk having to make a run to the store for TP when it's about to close, just because you couldn't be bothered to notice there were no more rolls in the closet?

I bought a package that was more than a year's supply back in September, and I didn't even have to open it until early February. So why did I buy it so long ago? Because it was on sale. I now have enough to last till maybe Easter of 2021.

Interesting (truly) perspective on toilet paper.

I don't think the TP thing ever made sense Lenona. But the grocery stuff in general seems to be calming down here in Houston.

On New York, it is too bad that story was heavy on pathos and light on details.

Good article on the toilet paper, Crid.

I wondered about the fish cleaner eaters.

More on the woman who "gave" her husband poisonous fish cleaner

March 23: She blames Trump for making her think it was safe.

February 19: She calls Trump "psycho prez"

She's lying and played the press. This needs to be investigated @mesapd

https://twitter.com/Techno_Fog/status/12454752271

Yes, very good article.

There are only a few comments so far, but check them out too - they're just as thoughtful.

I can't figure out that white thing on the yak

White-face yak? here are some pictures.

http://www.springbrook.com/Tibetan-yak/Tibetan-yak-colors.html

And yes, I thought s/he was doing a totally "in YO FACE" before taking the tumble and the resulting "I meant to do that!" recovery.

Based on the rapid transformation of Annoying Facebook Moms into an eager Suburban Stasi, this is the least surprising development of this whole shitshow.

https://twitter.com/Noonz/status/1245693376764182528

From responses to the Darth tweetlink: A Gladys Kravitz GIF!! Fantastic. Saving to disk. It will come in handy, and soon....

I have seen that in five and a half decades, but characterization comes rushing back. The intrusive busybody is an eternal ghost in the human heart, which is why that character seemed to easy to comprehend for a five-year-old.

IIRC, there were two GK's as well as two Darrens. The second Darren was to be preferred, of course, because he was casual and savvy instead of tense and smarm-smiley. I recall no preference for the two Gladys's.

Looked it up: There were two actresses for Darren's boss's wife, too!. Man, they really rode that pony into the ground, didn't they? I gave it up at age 8, when I turned away from all childish things.

Eat moar chiken (wings)!

With March Madness canceled and restaurants across the country closed, the meat industry is overloaded with chicken wings it can't sell.

"The wing business is totally in the gutter," said Stan Neva, the owner of the Northwest Meat Co. in Chicago, which supplies meat to restaurants, hotels and clubs.

https://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2020/04/02/With-March-Madness-canceled-food-industry-is-overloaded-with-chicken-wings/2891585778137/

Get yer Suburban Stasi here!

The woman told Greeley police that she was driving around 4:50 a.m. when she was stopped near 10th Street and Promontory Circle by a man in a dark uniform who was wearing a gas mask.

The man directed her into an area marked with traffic cones where three or four silver cars were parked, some with red and blue lights flashing in their dashboards, Cmdr. Rafael Gutierrez said Sunday. At least one car had a spotlight.

The woman said she saw multiple people wearing yellow traffic vests. In the roadblock, a man wearing a baton and pepper spray questioned the driver about why she was out, Gutierrez said.

“The individual asked to see her license, insurance and registration, and demanded explanation as to why she was violating COVID-19 law,” Gutierrez said. “He told the woman she could get charged with a violation for being out. And apparently he showed her something she thought looked like a ticket but it was never given to her.”

After about 10 minutes, the man let the woman leave, Gutierrez said.

https://www.denverpost.com/2020/03/29/colorado-fake-police-cornavirus-stay-at-home-order/

That's all sorts of felonies.

Seems legit.

To correct their fake report I’m sending CBS News an actual picture of the overworked doctors in a New York City hospital

https://twitter.com/000Dillon000/status/1244673603628646402

There interesting thing about Crid's toilet paper article is that, due to supply chain issues, restaurants selling their excess food and other items do not make up a long-term threat to grocery stores. Restaurant sales of bananas and toilet paper sales will not replace grocery store sales once the pandemic is over.

@Conan,

It's a bit of Karma because food joints are the reason you can't feed the homeless for free.

Corona virus daily thread #35

I've already harshed M4 pretty deeply this morning, but Bloomberg News really scratches— "NY has the most confirmed cases in the US but strikingly, 1 in 5 hospitalizations are occurring in people under age 44."

Looks like it's unavailable now. I wonder who Bloomberg's paymasters are.

I enjoy this from a humor perspective. But if you aren't comparing per capita numbers and haven't taken urbanization into account then this means nothing. Same as the cell phone data.

https://twitter.com/PuzzlerCryptic/status/1245715087903600640

Pet, it's here:

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-04-01/coronavirus-in-young-people-ny-patients-skew-younger-some-die

Courtesy Darth

Dildos are not important

https://twitter.com/Breaking911/status/1245880011455967235

"Dang!"

"Dang!"

@Crid: thank you, Sir.