That photo reminds me of a thread I started, years ago: "Which books did your parents criticize?" (As in: which books did your parents think were a waste of time, even for little kids?)

It turned into a pretty long thread.

One poster said: "I had one of those humor paperback books published by mad magazine. My father yelled at me about it and ripped it up."

"If you wait long enough, it will come..."

In this case, I mean one's topic of interest - in Miss Manners' column.

"Three Different Cases of 'I Can't Eat That' "

https://www.uexpress.com/miss-manners/2021/2/18/three-different-cases-of-i-cant

To my knowledge (from reading prior columns), the ONLY time she seems to think that people should have to choke down food they hate (not counting religious or medical reasons) is when the cook is your parent and you are still a minor who probably hates everything other than McDonald's food.

After all, religious and medical exemptions have always existed, right? So, if it's now considered common sense for a host to make inquiries in advance so as to avoid THOSE embarrassing and expensive mistakes,**** shouldn't they also ask beforehand "is there any food you hate" - and if they fail to do so, the least they can do is provide alternatives, right?

****Just because a few American hosts may still be unaware that most people from India don't eat beef, that's hardly an excuse for such hosts to serve it when all the hosts had to do was ask "is there anything you don't eat?"

What I'm getting at is that some OTHER people (namely, John Rosemond), still seem to think that guests who are children, at least, are not entitled to the same level of consideration from adult hosts that adult guests would be entitled to. As Miss Manners once said: "Rudeness toward children counts as rudeness."

(Trouble is, it apparently DID used to be the rule that even adult guests, to be polite, had to choke down food they hated - one example was in the memoirs of veterinarian James Herriot, maybe in the 1930s. Why, I'm not quite sure - but then, nutrition as a science was still in its infancy back then, and religious diversity barely existed either, so hosts probably didn't see the need to make inquiries at all.)

A few of the responses:

Suzn2: "Actually when i host a meal I ask if there are any allergies, and if there's something in particular that a guest strongly dislike when it's a small group. I rather have guests enjoy themselves than have them sick or choking down something they don't like just to be polite."

Moderatelymoderate: "So you encourage people to be snowflakes by only wanting to eat things they like."

NotSoBlah: "When I am entertaining guests, my intention is that they will enjoy themselves. I don't invite people to my home to teach them an unpleasant lesson!"

South side: "...No one with any good manners has a dinner party with the idea of encouraging anything except good conversation. A good host will make an effort to accommodate their guests the best they can."

Stormy Peak: "I think that one should have been signed 'Miffed Manners'. She's probably getting tired of the snowflake generation for the most part. But was aware enough to see that even the older generations can do better."

Too much work for the host, catering to every person who may be coming. Especially since it would require host to know what the many flavors of vegan mean.
Much simpler to say, having a party we are having X Y and Z. and leave it up to the guests to decide to attend or not or to eat before hand.

Serving something a guest cannot eat just creates more awkwardness when they have to pick something out or not eat their entire meal. And it's so easy to just check with people.

I do not eat mushrooms. I am happy to pick them out of things, but it's still awkward for a host to see me do it.

For large groups, we usually prepare a bunch of sides, one veggie entree and one chicken entree (avoids the pork/beef issue) and serve it all buffet style. We might also offer a pork/beef entree in addition to chicken. Easy. Folks can mix-and-match.

If someone's got a severe allergy, they generally know how to navigate big group gatherings and life in general with that allergy.

For small groups, when we're making just one entree and we are all sitting down to eat together, I'll check with everyone first about food allergies/strong dislikes/things they cannot eat.

Joe, the trouble there is that hosts usually need to know in advance how many people are coming, and it's often awkward for people to say "no thanks," even when no explanation is required. Especially when the host is a friend and the only reason to stay away is the food. So that guest often stays away without giving any advance warning of that.

Seems to me that if most of the guests ARE friends, as opposed to co-workers or acquaintances, the host would want to be as accommodating as possible.

Of course, if the guests are not really friends, the host could still provide at least one vegetarian dish - and a non-sugary dessert or snack. With a few other dishes.

He-ma'am

https://mobile.twitter.com/Moneymirweather/status/1362110923985461248

House Dems have introduced a bill to ban “twice impeached presidents” from burial at Arlington National Cemetery and federal funds from going to buildings displaying their names or acknowledging their achievements

https://mobile.twitter.com/Breaking911/status/1362454217152200714

Women's college basketball is women running around for things. There's a lot of activity, a lot of effort.

> a bill to ban “twice impeached
> presidents”

Hey ever'body!! Tell us about your city! Anybody have an airport coming online soon? Any idea what they're going to call it?






Hmmm?

Oh, no reason, really…

Just curious.

That one girl just made a layup!

Gee, I wonder at whom this could be aimed.

Anyone else remember something in the Constitution about Bills of Attainder? I'm pretty sure the Constitution was against them.

Dadbod?

https://twitter.com/HerculeanStren1/status/1362231027561885698

Reality bites:

https://twitter.com/MsMelChen/status/1362088376602558464

Ridley Scott's next Alien sequel will be inspired by this:

https://twitter.com/vagina_museum/status/1362039244571750409

Lenona the host would know how many would come the same way, by asking.

"Reality bites:"
Of course the question then becomes what kind of cop will work for a locality that hates them?
Ones shuffled out of other locations, Ones with a political agenda. Fresh recruits with no real experience.

When someone who doesn't know me well asks me to dinner, I say, "I'm a lacto-vegetarian, I hope that won't be a problem?" and then they sometimes ask me if I eat fish or dairy or whatever and I answer appropriately.

Then I show up with a nice hostess gift, and make nice covnversation and do the guest stuff.

It's not a kindness to your host(ess) if you don't tell them ahead of time and just don't eat the food.

It's fun to remember visiting people. Socially, in homes.

I'll eat anything. Corked 'foods' are a favorite.

Corked 'foods' are a favorite. ~ Crid at February 19, 2021 7:36 AM

Having one now; a pretty nice Cab.

==========

It's not a kindness to your host(ess) if you don't tell them ahead of time and just don't eat the food. ~ NicoleK at February 18, 2021 10:43 PM

I have a group of friends that get together once a month for themed dinner parties; well, we used to. One of us is vegetarian. So, she always brings a vegetarian dish and we all sample it. Every year, one month's theme is vegetarian to give us all an idea of what can be cooked if we eschew meat - and to make sure she knows we value her company.

A while back, in San Francisco, I worked with an Indian guy who was vegan, so all department lunches had to have a vegan option. One time, we were walking back from lunch and he mentioned that he tasted fish in the restaurant's "vegan" option. At lunch, he didn't make a big deal about it and, had he not mentioned it later, we'd never have known. We all simply crossed that restaurant off our accepted list and went on with our lives. Generally, in any department candy dish, we saved the dark chocolates for him.

It's not a big deal if people are wiling to work together, both the vegetarian/vegan and the carnivores of the group. Like you said, let people know ahead of time and something can be worked out.

I have a group of friends that get together.... ~ Conan the Grammarian at February 20, 2021 5:10 PM

Lest I be hoisted by my own petard: Since that involved people, the sentence should have started, "I have a group of friend who get together...."

Found the Herriot reference - it's from chapter 39 of All Things Bright and Beautiful. (That was the second book in the series. Pity he didn't anticipate that there would BE a series - then, he could have titled the books in the right order!)

http://reader.epubee.com/books/mobile/a7/a7c683404c73bae4bd60eef60f04aee4/text00120.html

It's amusing.

And, let's face it - most people today, even uneducated ones, would not have enjoyed that breakfast!

Btw, I did think of another case where yes, chances are you really DO have to eat what you're served. Namely (according to the popular travel writer Roger Axtell) when you are a foreigner on a business trip. There is no substitute for it, when you clearly need to send the message "I'm so glad to be in this country and doing business with you."

Even when the delicacies you have to eat are sheep's eyeballs (Saudi Arabia), bear's paw soup (China), or rodent, snake, chocolate-covered grasshoppers, or roasted scorpions.

(Axtell also said that many visitors to the U.S. find the following foods disgusting: roast turkey, gravy, peanut butter, root beer, ketchup, grits, pecan pie, corn on the cob, pumpkin pie, rare steaks, popcorn, many fast foods, and hot dogs.)