Not going to make a habit of commenting on this topic, but buy bitcoin.

Musk in a deepfake.

More deepfakes.

This will work out really well.

A few questions, however:

First, how is the city going to determine who's qualified to be a professional not-killer? Do you have to have killed someone beforehand? Can you just say you're qualified to be a professional not-killer, or do you have to present references from the people you haven't killed?

Second, how many people who are amateur not-killers will qualify to go pro? Will there be a draft or some sort of minor league? A scouting combine?

Third, how many out-of-town not-killers will move to Baltimore just to take advantage of the city's new employment opportunities for not-killers.

Fourth, how will the performance of these professional not-killers be assessed? Will there be regular performance reviews? How about bonuses? What about promotions and career advancement opportunities?

I'm more curious about,what do you do if you get a statement from the "employee" like.

Sorry, tomorrow starts my 3 week vacation.
What do you mean I don't get weekends and Holidays off?

Oops, my bad, don't need to pay me this month, start up again next month right?

I want a raise or I quit.

Oakland neighborhood has stood up a night watch.

'Oakland looks like a trash can': Neighbors form vigilante patrols to curb crime

https://www.ktvu.com/news/oakland-looks-like-a-trash-can-neighbors-upset-over-increasing-crime-and-homelessness

A beefy thread:

https://twitter.com/realJohn_Taylor/status/1361931074553569283

"Did you kill this week?".

*No.*

"Did you TRY to kill?"

*YES!*

"Listen, you're going to have to kill someone this week or lose your benefits. Sign here."

"Did you kill this week?".

Got to love Mel.

We almost moved to Baltimore. To think I could have been earning money by not killing anyone.

If these idiots read any history they would have seen the warning about paying the danegeld. (Hint: they want it forever).
Conan had some great questions. Here is another:
If you end up killing do you have to refund the money you got?
If you just think about killing do you not get your money that month? How about if you shoot and miss?
It is crazy all the way down. Don't let these people near heavy machinery.

I want a raise or I quit. ~ Joe J at February 19, 2021 8:43 AM

Do you quit by resignation letter, or do you just stab your social worker?

Cannibalism… Ya hate to see it…

SIKE!!! It's entertaining.

> I want a raise or I quit.

Calls to mind an Onion classic.

This would be perfect for Disney.

https://twitter.com/TheBabylonBee/status/1362174994801852419

Crid: serious question:

Why is Bitcoin valuable? Many cultures express disdain for arbitrary representations of wealth.

People say so.

"Do you quit by resignation letter, or do you just stab your social worker?" Conan

Well they say the pen is mightier than the sword, I beg to differ.

This is nasty. Like, who the hell puts raw bell peppers and raw pineapple on top a freshly baked pizza?

https://mobile.twitter.com/DudespostingWs/status/1362811494988214275

I think it is pineapple and hot peppers... sounds good to me!

Once you put pineapple on it, it is no longer a pizza!

I once heard a fictional character snap: "Greek pizza is NEITHER!"

But I like it anyway. I also wish someone would sell frozen thin crust Hawaiian pizza in supermarkets. Why does anyone want to eat a pizza that's mostly bread?

The pizza on the foreground has raw red bell peppers, and the ones in the background have jalapeno slices and pineapple.

These seem to have been added just to make the pizza look pretty.

@Lenona,

Maybe it's because all that mass is filler.

Turn wheat flour tortillas into thin-crust pizzas. Much tastier than the frozen stuff.

Crid, I couldn't open that Twitter link - that happens a lot.

But I was surprised, very recently, to read about a kidnapper/cannibal who, one could argue, was a good deal worse than Jeffrey Dahmer - and was arrested BEFORE Dahmer. So why isn't he just as notorious?

https://web.archive.org/web/20060320122618/http://metropolis.japantoday.com/tokyo/416/feature.asp

(He was hanged in 2008. There's a longish Wikipedia entry for him - but you have to search on his name.)

You have to scroll 2/5 down, almost to the end of the article itself - but the whole article, which covers other criminals in Japan as well, is very much worth reading and is not as long as one might guess, at first.

“Crid, I couldn't open that Twitter link - that happens a lot.

But I was surprised, very recently, to read about a kidnapper/cannibal who, one could argue, was a good deal worse than Jeffrey Dahmer - and was arrested BEFORE Dahmer. So why isn't he just as notorious?”

Because, as I have explained before, Japan is in the business of protecting their international reputation as a civilized genteel country, unlike the journalists in the US who believe their job is to make the United States seem like the racist hell hole they believe it to be.

Executions in Japan take place regularly, but they are neither publicized after the fact or announced ahead of time. Occasionally you will read about them. Almost always after the fact.

A few years ago, they executed the last of the terrorists who got the death penalty for the Sarin gas attack on the Tokyo subway.

> Why does anyone want to
> eat a pizza that's
> mostly bread?

Exactly! Lenona sings like a sister!

Lenona, It's only metaphorical cannibalism… Which is actually the best kind. Try this —

https://twitter.com/WKBW/status/1362842568883585024

Isab, 2008 was a very long time ago.

Besides, since when did ethics stop any American tabloid from digging up a highly lurid story from ANY country in the world? Assuming the story didn't get completely hushed up at the time?

(Also, check out Yahoo Odd News sometime. Even though the stories, IIRC, are seldom about anything serious. For some reason, a LOT of the wackier stories used to come from Germany. Odd News was where I first saw the 2002 story from Italy about Giuseppe Andreoli, who was ordered by the Italian court to continue supporting his 30-year-old son Marco - who had a law degree! - until the son found a job he liked. Btw, The Guardian wrote: "Currently almost one in three Italians in their early 30s lives with their parents.")

Reminds me of when an employer decided to pay people to stop smoking.

While it made sense on paper - paying people to quit would be cheaper than paying their more costly health care expenses.

But, they didn't realize how that would backfire. The non-smokers were in an uproar: "How about you pay me more for never having smoked in the first place!"

I joked about taking up smoking just so I could quit and get the extra money.