My friend internet dated a guy once, who on their second date, told her her boots looked slutty.

They were regular brown, chunky heel, under the knee boots. Worn with a skirt of normal, above the knee length. She never dressed in anything like spikes & a mini.

Posted by: MeganNJ at August 31, 2010 3:32 PM

Wow!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 31, 2010 3:36 PM

I don't know that you'd call it rude, but I went out with a guy once (AND ONLY ONCE) who insisted "The Feds" and "The DEA" were tailing him and spent the entire evening bitching about his ex.

Crazy AND crass. Yeah, I really want a long term relationship with that guy.

Posted by: Ann at August 31, 2010 7:20 PM

I had a guy once tell me that I would look much better if I had a boob job.

Posted by: Maria at August 31, 2010 9:56 PM

I went out with an "octopus" twice. We did the initial "meet and greet" one Saturday evening - wine and dessert. Had a great time, the conversation was good and he followed up with a phone call asking me out for later in the week. We went to dinner, I was still in a suit from work - skirt, blouse and jacket. I spent the next hour trying to keep his hands from going up my skirt and ripping my panties off. I asked him several times to stop and slapped his hand away, I finally reached my boiling point and left. The best part was the next morning he sent me an email. Since I archive emails I'm copying and pasting a direct quote...

"WE are like a prefect match , but just one tooth off in our gear set.....a
little friction.... and a lack of time."

Posted by: sara at September 1, 2010 12:59 AM

I had a first date that couldn't stop talking about either a) himself or b) poop, fart, burp, booger jokes. (He was also horrible to the waiter). My food went almost completely untouched.

When he took me home and got to my apartment complex I could see he was trying to find a parking spot to park and walk me to my door. When he stopped to wait for someone backing out... I literally opened the car door, jumped out and ran like hell to my front door.

Worst. Date. Ever.

Posted by: Feebie at September 1, 2010 7:44 AM

Near the end of college, I went on a few dates with a guy on the fringes of my social circle. He seemed a little flaky, but nice enough, so I went on two or three dates with him.

The last date we ever had was on a Saturday afternoon. He invited me to a matinee movie and dinner after. I put on a cute sundress, strappy heels and waited for him to pick me up. He arrived and I got in the car, excited for movie and dinner. We chatted as he drove and it wasn't until half an hour later that I realized we were nowhere near the theater. I asked him about it and he said, "Oh, yeah, sorry, change of plans. I decided we should do a bit of hiking instead. It'll be more fun."

I told him that I loved hiking and would really like to go with him another day, but I just wasn't dressed for it. He just shrugged it off and said I'd be fine.

We drive another half hour and arrive at the mountain. I tell him that maybe we can just walk around a little near the base, he says, no, let's see the sunset from the top of the mountain.

I didn't want to look like a priss, so I went along, looking instead like a complete moron.

It takes two hours to get to the top, and I ruin my new shoes in the process. When we get to the top, the sun is setting and it's freezing. We sit down on a ledge, watching the sun set and we're both shivering. I worm my way into a rocky shelter so I can get out of the wind. He's also cold, so he looks at me in my little nook and says he wants to sit there. I say, sorry, only room for one.

This is the best part...not taking no for an answer he picks me up, sets me down into an unprotected spot and tells me in a light-hearted way that it's better if I sit in the cold since "girls have more body fat than men" so I'll be just fine.

At this point I insist on going back. But the sun has already set, and he didn't bring a flashlight. So we have to hike all the way down the mountain in the cold and dark, nearly getting lost.

Seeing his car in the dark lot was the happiest moment of my life. I made him take me home right away and told him I didn't think we were a good match and wished him all the best. Never saw him again. Hurray!

Posted by: Rachel at September 1, 2010 11:43 AM

Second date, guy offers to drive me home. First and second dates went well, so I agreed. He "got lost," which seemed odd, considering he knew all the best places in the area to get blow jobs, including blow jobs right out on the open.

There was no third date.

Posted by: MonicaP at September 1, 2010 3:40 PM

There's a general air that guys seem to give off these days that I call the rude-used-car-salesman vibe. It's the guy that actually berates you for "wasting" his time because you didn't sleep with him on the first date. I'm so glad I'm married now, and don't have to deal with this anymore. I had more than one guy act like this with me, after one freaking date. And they weren't low class or "white trash" either. Well... I should say you wouldn't think they were low class by looking at them, or knowing their families. But they sure as hell turned out to be pretty low class, obviously.

Posted by: Gina at September 1, 2010 8:26 PM

I agreed to a date with a guy I met once. He seemed really nice, funny, good vibes.

He came over to pick me up, and went "Whew!" as we left. It was a whew of relief, he said, because it turns out he had been drunk when we met, and didn't remember anything about me, but he had written down my name, number and address. So he decided to check me out.

I don't know what he would have done it he hadn't liked what he saw, but for me it all sorta went downhill from there. Didn't see him again after that. I don't even remember anything else about the date, so I guess we were pretty forgettable to each other.

Posted by: Pricklypear at September 1, 2010 10:09 PM

One of the rudest things you can do to a date is not show up. When I was a young man, I was The King of Being Stood Up. To this day, I'm still amazed at the number of women who will accept a date that they have no intention of keeping.

Posted by: Cousin Dave at September 2, 2010 2:04 AM

Dave, that is just completely mean. There should be a database of girls who do this.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at September 2, 2010 2:56 AM

The rudest thing that ever happened to me on a date was at Pennsic, a sort of "Burning Man" for the medieval re-enactor set.

I invited a young lady to a concert. About midway through the concert, someone leaned out of the darkness and whispered in her ear. She look over at me and told me she was leaving.

And left.

No "I'll be back in a few minutes," or "excuse me, I need to talk to someone," just "I'm leaving now."

Bill

Posted by: Bill McNutt at September 2, 2010 2:39 PM

There is actually a website entirely devoted to bad first dates. http://awfulfirstdates.com/ My story is on there from March, but to recap, I went on a date with a guy from match.com. At first, we had a nice conversation, but he drank too much and started to act like a drunken idiot, farting and insisting on smoking a cigar in my car. The kicker though was a few weeks later, when he texted me out of the blue saying he was getting back together with a long term ex, but could he contact me again in the future if things didn't work out between them?

Posted by: Jaelynn at September 3, 2010 8:50 PM

At the end of a pleasant first date after exchanging a few messages on match.com, I walked her to her car where she turned and said "I just don't like short guys, so I'm not going to see you again."

Alrighty then! But she knew exactly how tall I am, as I had my height on my profile, so this detail should not have gone unnoticed!

Crazy. I'm cure there were better ways to express disinterest.

Posted by: jason at September 6, 2010 4:40 PM

Yeah...how about with a vague, "You're great, but I don't think this is going to go anywhere."

Posted by: Amy Alkon at September 6, 2010 4:44 PM

"Dave, that is just completely mean. There should be a database of girls who do this.
....
There is actually a website entirely devoted to bad first dates. http://awfulfirstdates.com/ "

Sorry, but it just popped into my head: I think Facebitch has a better ring to it. :P

Someone else can come up with the guy's site name.

Posted by: Miguelito at September 8, 2010 1:14 AM

I guess this next one could fit in the tipping section too...

When I was single and dating in NYC, I went out with this guy who took tipping for service to a whole 'nother extreme. We went to a nice, but not super fancy resturant in mid town NYC. The evening started out with a drink at the bar while waiting for our table. In retrospect, I should have seen the signs at the bar but honestly, I had first date nerves myself and was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Then, when we got to our table, my date put a pile of cash, singles specifically, on the table. I made a joke about "where'd you get all those one's?" and he laughed. Once the server came over and took our orders, my date said, "You see that pile of money there? That, for now, is your tip. If your service stays good, you can have it all. If your service is bad though, I will take away money from the pile. So I suggest you give us really good service if you want that pile." I let it go at first because, I thought he was joking. We both admitted to having pretty twisted senses of humor so when our server came back, I fully expected him to say "I was just kiddin man..." then we all have a good laugh and go on with our night. Nope. As the night progressed, I realized he was totally serious. When our drink order came and my date decided that his drink wasn't made to his standards, and removed $2 from the pile. With the waiter standing right there. The server looked humilated. I felt disgusted but I was just too shocked to say anything. The server walked away, I assume to spit in his next drink, and my date looked at me and said "And THAT'S how you get good service." I was sure that any minute he was going say "JUST KIDDING". But he didn't. Our appetizers came next and again, money was taken from the pile. This time, my date made a production out of it by saying, "That's just not satisfactory. I am afraid I have to remove some more money from the pile," while dramatically taking $3 out of pile. The waiter walked away, this time without even trying to hide his displeasure with having this douchebag as a customer. My date sat there beaming, seemingly super proud of his douchiness. I was at a loss and I just sat there for a few seconds, mouth agape and surely looking like a tool for even being associated with this guy. I finally regained my composure enough to think of a way to get the hell out of there. I pulled the ol' look at my phone and fein an "emergency" trick. I said "I'm sorry. Something just came up and I have to leave. Thank you for the drink." He said "Oh. that's too bad. Can I call you?"

Me: Uuummm... No. I don't think so.
Him: No? Well... why not?
Me: I just don't think this is gonna work out. But thanks for the drink earlier.
Him: But why?
Me: Because, um... uuuummm...(*trying really hard to come up with a legitimate and trying to avoid being rude myself*)...uumm well... (giving up and just letting him have it)...you're an asshole.
HIM: WHAT!? I am NOT an ASSHOLE!
ME: Oh. Yes. You are. But I don't expect you to actually aknowledge that you are an asshole because most assholes don't actually think that they are assholes. They just go around being assholes to everyone. And you? You're an asshole acting like an asshole so that makes you an asshole. So no. Don't call me.

I went over the waiter and apologized for my dates behaviour, gave him whatever money I had in my wallet, and ran out of there as fast as I could. What I want to know is where he came up with that tipping 'strategy' and has it actually worked in the past? That seems like some shit that would be on tv. A character like Ross on Friends would be expected to pull that shit. People aren't suppossed to do that in real life! And was he really expecting to impress me with that?! I mean, was I suppossed to swoon at his financial "prowess" and tipping power? Hands down, biggest asshole date evah!

Posted by: Sabrina at September 20, 2010 6:47 PM

Umm, Ross from Friends was NOT an asshole!! Ross would never do that to anyone. He is the sweetest guy ever, except for that "we were on a break" thing :)

Posted by: sgrplm at October 23, 2010 5:40 AM

first date. met for coffee. at the mall. both of us in our 40s, so that seemed a bit juvenile but i figured he thought it was centrally located, or some such thing. didn't have any money on him, just a credit card. the kiosk he stopped in front of didn't take plastic. so i bought. chatted, get-to-know you questions, etc. end of date. head out to our cars. he goes in for a kiss... and pulls it out. yes, shades of a seinfeld episode - he pulls it out. and looks at me expectantly. in a parking lot. first date. so i smiled. reached out - pulled his shirt over it, gave it a pat, and advised he put it away before it gets hurt. he seemed very confused... YIKES!

Posted by: zelda at November 4, 2010 3:46 AM

This happened as I was on my 4th date with a girl I've known casually for years. As she was putting on her clothes to leave, she told me about how she spent the previous night drinking and that she had sex with a guy "just kidding." she added, and then she got made that I took her seriously.

I dumped her but took her back after she got mad at me for taking her seriously because after all, she did say "just kidding." True or not, I can't help but be in lust with my nympho, she's the best I've ever had in bed.

Posted by: Dave at November 30, 2010 2:30 PM

On a second date I had a guy interrogate me about my sexual history, including how many times I'd orgasmed and with how many of my sexual partners I'd had an orgasm with.

And he "tested" me with little questions. For example, he asked me if I liked to talk or let silence fill the air. I said it depended on my mood and the circumstance. He said that his question was testing my neediness.

Posted by: Meloni at September 16, 2011 1:49 AM

CREEPY!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at September 16, 2011 3:16 AM

A little late to the game here, but this was my worst dating experience, sorry it's a long one:

I was set up on a blind date with a guy through one of my good friends (I later found out she had set up several of our girlfriends with this same guy), I was maybe 18 or 19. Our first date went well, we met for coffee, since I was early I ordered and paid for mine before he got there, and grabbed a table. He was on time and our conversation was pleasant. He asked me out again, saying he had seasons tickets (baseball- I had never been to a game), I said sure, gave him my number and told him to call me with the details.

Date 2: He showed up wearing ripped shorts, a shirt covered in paint stains and sandals revealing his hideous, gnarled, hairy feet (I can't stand feet- yuck)! I thought I could ignore it, but the seats we had were at a balcony, so he put his feet up on the rail, directly in my line of sight of the game. I smoked at the time, so the combination of being uncomfortable and bored had me going to the smoking room quite often. After returning from my third ciggy of the event, he said he was hungry and asked if I wanted anything, I said "no, thank you". He said he was going to get nachos and beer and "a 20 should cover it", hand extended. I laughed, I thought he was joking...he wasn't.

me: Sorry, I am not hungry, if you want something though go ahead.
him: I paid for the tickets, you should pay for food...
me: uh, first of all you already had the tickets, second, YOU asked ME out...

He proceeded to tell me the tickets cost 3x as much as the price listed on the ticket and that I should be at the very least reimbursing him for that cost. I don't normally mind paying my fair share, and if I asked a guy out I would foot the WHOLE bill because I asked YOU out ,but this was over the top. If you want to go dutch tell me in advance don't surprise me with it during the date.

He then ended up telling me that he had a family emergency and had to go, I was so relieved I didn't have to make up some story to get out of this horror show. Immediately after we parted ways, I called my friend to report the disaster and while I was talking with her I watched him come back out of the train station and go home, I have never laughed so hard in my life.

Posted by: geeh at January 4, 2012 5:02 PM

I don't know maybe this isn't as bad as it sounds in my head but this guy at work starts to court me - I think he's kind of cute and hey, he smells really nice and then he tells me he has his kids coming out [I'm new at the company] to visit for a month [its the summer] and though we try to get a date in before they arrive, we don't quite work it out.

Then the kids arrive - and they come to work with him every day - and though everyone else in the very small company we work with and in seems to have been introduced to these kids this guy actively avoids doing as much. I mean one time, I was walking out as he was walking in with them and he ignored me. Should have been the ultimate warning sign but hey, we had just met and I kind of get the whole good thing behind not introducing every chick you like to your kids.... even if they are teenagers.

Well then we start dating - and his son comes out for a special father's day visit... and he still doesn't introduce me to the kid. We've known each other for a year, have been sleeping together for a while by this point and even have plans to see a movie together but he decides without discussing it that he's going to introduce me on the way to the 30-minute dinner we have to rush through before going to the double feature. When I ask him if its possible to meet him before that and even suggest that they maybe should go alone [even though I'd already bought the tickets] - he accuses me of 'going crazy'... and we are no longer dating.

Deliver me....

Posted by: Christine at June 26, 2012 7:26 PM

Idea: “Now that you’ve had some time to think, tell me about a time when YOU were a terrible date and why that happened”

Many, many people are pretty bad at dating even though they are not “bad” people (as a habit or character flaw). The situation leading into the date or life circumstances surrounding the date or even mistaken idea about the best way to conduct oneself (corrected later?) may all contribute to BEING a bad date.
When were you a bad date or did something that made a date bad? When did you realize this and what did you learn from it?

By the bye, a big fan of your work!
Be well,
Tom

Posted by: Tom at August 26, 2019 2:40 PM