I've posted this elsewhere, but my biggest peeve about the apology is this: when someone says to you, after they totally disrespected you and know that that's exactly what they did, "I'm sorry you feel that way", because, NO, they're NOT. They're not sorry in the least about what they did to you or how you feel about it, they are just abdicating ANY personal responsibility whatsoever.
It makes me ill.

Posted by: Flynne at May 17, 2012 5:05 PM

Flynne, I wonder how you define "after they totally disrespected you and you know that's exactly what they did."

I worked for five years at a job that required a great deal of phone contact with often unhappy people. After I explained our few, simple policies, and they continued to try to evade them, it would sometimes get to an endless cycle.

I would then quietly say, "I'm sorry you feel that way," end the call, and hang up.

"I'm sorry you feel that way" is, I agree, the wrong response in some situations.

In others, though, it's a useful way to diffuse tension and to de-escalate a conversation.

Posted by: beth at January 8, 2013 8:49 PM