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The Incredible Sulk

I'm not the biggest horse in the barn, but my wife of 35 years has always said I'm perfect, she's satisfied with me, and my size doesn't matter. Recently, a commercial for "male enhancement" pills came on and I said, "Maybe I should try some." She said, "Bigger is nice, but I like being with you." This really hurt as I viewed it as a comparison to men she'd dated before me. I'm so angry because I'd never compare her to anyone and feel I've been lied to for 35 years. I didn't speak to her for two days, and when she asked why, I told her. First, she didn't remember saying anything, then said she didn't compare me, and apologized. I'm still hurt and have no desire to be intimate. I need advice though, because I don't want this to come between us.

--Still Stunned

So, in a perfect world, the first time you had sex, your wife would've announced, "As man-tools go, yours is one of those little eyeglass screwdrivers." Instead, she pronounced you "perfect" -- a cruel lie. Worse yet, she claims she's satisfied with you, and says your size doesn't matter. Actually, it seems pretty clear it does, except it isn't your small penis that's the problem, but the fact that you're acting like a really big pinhead.

Your wife tried to be sweet, reassuring you, "Bigger is nice, but I like being with you," and you're acting like she's erected an altar in her head to The Big One, The Really Big One, and Whoa, Don't Hurt Me With That Thing. How dare she compare you to any other man?! Uh...are you for real? Sorry, to bust up your fairytale idea of human nature, but people assess what works for them, in part, by comparison: Bigger, smaller, better, good enough, hasn't behaved this idiotically in years.

Hey, Doofus! With all those Big Biffys out there, she married you. So, if you're not exactly big, apparently you're big enough. And, a little something else to consider: While most of the sex problems I get are from couples in flannel pajamas and separate beds at the 3.5-year mark, you and your wife are still doing it at year 35. Or, rather, were. Good move, sailor!

Adding to the ridiculousness, Mr. Dinky's little strike started with a commercial for something that doesn't even work. Well, that's not entirely fair. "Male enhancement" pills do increase size -- of the bank accounts, number of resort homes, and fleets of yachts of the people selling them. But, as urologist Dr. Irwin Goldstein told Nutrition Action Healthletter, "There's no pill, prescription or otherwise, that will make a penis longer." The good news comes from Dr. Eugene Fine, another urologist I interviewed a while back: "Most of the anatomy in a woman that's responsive to sexual pleasure is right at the front door. Just get in there and ring the bell."

Probably the most effective "male enhancement" is confidence: thinking of yourself as a MINI Cooper among men -- small, but surprisingly powerful, and great on the curves. And then, of course, there's not acting like a vengeful, passive-aggressive weenie when your wife's doing her best to let you know you're loved and wanted. Now, be a big man in the way that counts, and apologize. Be grateful that she knows you don't measure how much of a man a guy is by sticking a ruler down his tighty-whities, and see if you can't distract her from what a nitwit you've been with a little game of "Hide the salam--" uh, sorry...Slim Jim.

Posted by aalkon at November 27, 2007 1:14 AM

Comments

How can you be married for 35 years and be this dumb about your relationship? I'd say "get over it already" but what's to get over? You have manufactured an issue out of nothing. It's entirely in your power - and no-one else's - to decide to move on.

Posted by: Norman at November 28, 2007 6:03 AM

What a flaming asshole. I mean really, what a shrimp-dicked, ego-stroking, narcissistic asshole! This man should be on his knees thanking the sex gods that his wife is still interested in fucking him after 35 years! Does he have any idea how many women decide that once the honeymoon's over and the ring is on, they're excused from any sort of sexual contact with their husbands?! It's not his small dick that's coming between them (okay, make the puns), it's his glass-fragile pweshous widdle ego.
I dated a guy who would constantly make disparaging remarks about his size, to the point of telling me that I'd eventually dump him for someone better-endowed, leaving me in the ridiculous position of defending myself against something I hadn't even done. Well, I did dump him, but not because of any trouser issues-I got fed up with his constant whining and manipulation to get his ego stroked.
If this guy would be such a shithead to his wife over something so incredibly stupid, he deserves to lose her to someone named Randy Steele. Frankly, he's acting like a whiny little girl. Something tells me this isn't the first time he's brought up the size issue, putting his wife in a no-win position-say she's satisfied with the size he is, *gasp!* she's comparing him to all her ginormous ex lovers! Say yeah, honey, order the pills, and he'll spend the next month curled up in a ball of tears. What an ass.

Posted by: amh18057 at November 28, 2007 6:29 AM

What's going to happen when when he takes those male enhancement pills, and his tongue gets so big it won't fit inside his mouth anymore?

Posted by: Pirate Jo [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2007 6:43 AM

OK, it's easy to ridicule and scorn this guy. I mean, it seems incredible to me that a guy who is likely around 60 years old is still this insecure. But I actually feel more sorry for him, because that behavior is so pathetic. I wouldn't say he's like a widdle girl, though I would say that I'm more familiar with women making arguments like this, in the form of complaining about how their man isn't constantly reassuring them that they're the most beautiful, pwecious, thinnest woman in the world. Such behavior is even kind of celebrated on sit coms and such, and I always want to scream because instead of calling the woman on her bullshit insecurities that have been projected onto her partner, the partner runs around jumping through hoops to get back on her good side. SO manipulative. But anyway, in this guy's case, it's hard to believe this issue hasn't come up a lot of times before, and his wife well-trained to deal with it already.

Posted by: quizzical1 at November 28, 2007 7:21 AM

Do I look fat in these jeans? If I weren't here, which one of my friends would you sleep with? Do you think she fills in that sweater better than me? Should I try male enhancement pills? Notice any similarities?

She could have snuck out of this one with another "No, you're perfect honey." But when put into a situation of answering a no-win question like this, you need an answer RIGHT NOW. Any delay to come up with the perfect answer rarely goes over well. If she didn't even remember the “incident”, that tells me how little importance the matter of his size is with her. Also, after 35 years, she probably figured it was safe to acknowledge what they both know -- he's not going to be cast as a porn stud anytime soon -- and remind him that it doesn't matter one little bit.

Based on my experience, my husband is on the smaller size of average. The first time I saw, I must admit a twinge of regret but that was quickly shattered by his ability to use what he’s got! Maybe it’s just the ones I’ve known, but the “big” guys figure that’s all they need. And there are definite benefits on the oral side when your man isn’t sporting a “choker”.

Get over it. And get back into the sack. IMHO, nothing kills a couple's libido like a long break in sex – the more I get, the more I want! Allow me to forget how good it is and get distracted with the rest of life, and I might keep forgetting….

Posted by: moreta [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2007 7:46 AM

Shit most men even those with King Kong Dongs have moments of this. I got a buddy who has to limit his fun basically to women that have had at least one kid and/or go through KY like water. He still has moments when he worries about it.

However shitting your pants like this over an Enzite commercial is sad. He's insecure and this maybe coming up more due to him putting on a few pounds then his dong size. He maybe projecting other insecurities he can fix but doesn't want to (shit I like chetoos and beer but leave it alone) into something he can't fix and like to wine about it.

I do understand the fretting over ex-lovers but I'm not sure what comparison she made. Had the wife said "Well (add name here) was hung like a horse and that was fun but I like being with you." Then yes he'd have a right to be pissed, partly at himself cause he drove her to say it.

amh18057: Next time you go out and ask your boyfriend how's my butt look and he says "Like a turkey stuffed into a zip lock bag" We'll see about winning and crying.

Posted by: vlad [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2007 7:55 AM

"IMHO, nothing kills a couple's libido like a long break in sex – the more I get, the more I want!" Beautifully put.

Posted by: vlad [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2007 7:58 AM

Actually, I've been told it looks more like two bobcats in a burlap sack. A hilarious visual. Yes, everyone has moments of insecurity, and yes, it's great to have a partner willing to reassure that they're happy with you the way you are. But I think we can all agree that this guy's reaction was waaay over the top, especially given that it's clear that his wife is happy with what he's got. I don't bother asking anyone how my ass looks, I know it's fine, and I'd prefer not to foist my insecurities off on anyone else. Someone who is comfortable in their own skin (or willing to fake it till they make it) is much more attractive than someone, guy or girl, who needs constant reassurance to keep them happy.

Posted by: amh18057 at November 28, 2007 8:04 AM

Just drawing a comparison, your reaction to him was so venom fueled.

Posted by: vlad [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2007 8:28 AM

Someone who is comfortable in their own skin (or willing to fake it till they make it) is much more attractive than someone, guy or girl, who needs constant reassurance to keep them happy.

Amen to that! o_O

Posted by: Flynne [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2007 8:32 AM

"What's going to happen when when he takes those male enhancement pills, and his tongue gets so big it won't fit inside his mouth anymore?"

PJ, Thabth the thunniesth thin I'b hearb all day!

Posted by: martin [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2007 9:17 AM

Oy, this guy needs to turn in his testicles, "Does this penis make me look needy and riven with self-doubt?"

No woman has ever left me because I have a small putz (they've left me for lots of other reasons they were kind enough to etch into my car doors etc.)
There was one relationship that didn't work out because my entirely average equipment was more than she could handle (she was "petite".) It did stroke my ego to get strangely appreciative looks from her girlfriends but it was miserable getting one lousy futon ride every two weeks or so.

If this guy is still getting downtown after 35 years, he ought to shut up.

Posted by: martin [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2007 9:47 AM

Frankly, too big hurts.

If women you were with keyed your car after being with you, I suggest you might need to make more informed choices.

A book for you -- The Art Of Living Consciously, by Branden.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0684838494?ie=UTF8&tag==advicegoddess-20&linkCode==as2&camp==1789&creative==9325&creativeASIN==0684838494

He once told me, "People will tell you what they're about, if only you're willing to listen."

Posted by: Amy Alkon [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2007 9:50 AM

The car-keying thing was an exageration to convey the idea that there was a range of non-penis issues that ended various relationships. (But it's funny how my car getting hypothetically keyed suggests that I need to examine my choices moreso than the one doing the keying, hmmm.)

Every relationship is a lesson and I've been getting good marks from my current "teacher" for 17 years with little to no vandalism involved.

Thanks for the book suggestion.

Posted by: martin [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2007 10:13 AM

You know what pisses me off about this guy? The same thing that pisses me off about all the dick pill commercials.

Old fucks that are complaining they can't get it on any more. I don't wanna hear it, fuck face. I don't get ANY, EVER, and I'm supposed to be happy that someone invented a pill so you can get your freak on again?

Fuck you.

Posted by: brian at November 28, 2007 10:16 AM

How does this woman even remember other penises after 35 years? Could there be more here that LW hesitates to include?

Posted by: snakeman99 at November 28, 2007 10:34 AM

I really like the perspectives I get from reading this column... The knee-jerk reaction was, of course, "WHAT A WUSS!!" but the pointing out the female equivalent: "Yeah a firm ass is nice, but I like yours.." is what keeps me reading.

The guy's still a wuss though... but at least he's getting some.

Posted by: Morbideus [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2007 10:57 AM

you know, I agree with the assessment, that this guy is acting a bit overly insecure.... but the anger, people. What is it about this guy that fills you all with such rage?

Posted by: Scott [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2007 11:50 AM

Scott - it's simple jealousy. Most men would give various parts of their anatomy for a woman who truly wants them.

And this guy lets a fucking TELEVISION COMMERCIAL fuck that shit up.

That's just pathetic. And makes us wonder what he did to deserve any attention at all.

Posted by: brian at November 28, 2007 11:58 AM

"What is it about this guy that fills you all with such rage?" Apparently he's getting laid more often then some of us here.

Posted by: vlad [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2007 12:01 PM

(But it's funny how my car getting hypothetically keyed suggests that I need to examine my choices moreso than the one doing the keying, hmmm.)

There are vindictive people out there -- those who get their cars keyed by them, as they're on the way out of relationships, are those who ignore the signs.

I do not wish ill on any man I've been involved with. In fact, I often give one of my old boyfriends love advice. I'd like to see him find somebody he's happy with.

Posted by: Amy Alkon [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2007 12:19 PM

In case I didn't make that clear, I'll say it a little more clearly: You have to actually choose people, look at who you let into your life. If you get your car keyed by an ex, it's not because all exes key cars, but because you chose a woman who has that sort of behavior as part of her character.

Posted by: Amy Alkon [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2007 12:21 PM

Since we're already off-topic.

"In fact, I often give one of my old boyfriends love advice."

I still say this guy is just biding his time.

Posted by: snakeman99 at November 28, 2007 1:25 PM

{I really like the perspectives I get from reading this column... The knee-jerk reaction was, of course, "WHAT A WUSS!!" but the pointing out the female equivalent: "Yeah a firm ass is nice, but I like yours.." is what keeps me reading.}

Morbideus, I really think a closer parallel would be large and small breasts - a firm ass is more of a fitness issue.

Posted by: Kelly at November 28, 2007 2:37 PM

While this guy is acting like an enormous drama queen, his wife needs to learn the best response to passive-aggressive manipulation games: (AA) agree and amplify to the point of absurdity.

My wife used to play these kind of games all the time. After a few rounds of AA, she hasn't done it in years.

Where I used to dread the old: "Does this dress make me look fat?" I no longer give it a second thought.

"Oh honey...that dress makes you look HHHUUUUUGGGGEEEEE! Better not take you to the beach, you might get mistaken for a whale and end up harpooned!"

I don't know how this tactic works...but it does.

BTW - notice this is the tactic Amy uses quite frequently with her advice.

Using over-the-top absurdity to illustrate the absurdity of the absurd. :)

Posted by: Dave at November 28, 2007 4:32 PM

By the way, "Incredible Sulk" = early front-runner for Amy's annual entry in the LA Press Club headline award (or whatever its called).

Posted by: snakeman99 at November 28, 2007 5:49 PM

An old magician's axiom: "It's not the length of the stick, but the magic in the wand that puts the rabbit in the hat."

Posted by: truman at November 29, 2007 6:52 AM

Of course, there are contraceptives and surgeries that can help keep unwanted rabbits out of the hat.

Posted by: lily [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 29, 2007 11:32 AM

"Morbideus, I really think a closer parallel would be large and small breasts - a firm ass is more of a fitness issue."

Point taken, although I've had more experience with females concerned about the size of their butts than their breasts, so I didn't even think of that one...

Posted by: Morbideus [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 29, 2007 11:40 AM

Yeah, I've never heard of a woman asking "Does this blouse make my boobs look big?"

Posted by: brian at November 29, 2007 2:38 PM

Actually, if you have big boobs, it's something you think about all the time. Girls with big boobs and flat stomachs know to wear tight shirts, lest they look like they're expecting - more than a date, that is.

Posted by: Amy Alkon [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 29, 2007 8:07 PM

If Mr. Stunned continues to pout and sleep in the other bedroom his wife should give him a pair of felt-tipped tweezers and a magnifying glass and tell him she loves him and just doesn't want his sex life to suffer.

Posted by: Flash Gordon at November 30, 2007 7:39 AM

Funny. By the way, in the "Americans have no fucking sense of humor" department, a bunch of men wrote in to tell me how horrible I was for making small penis jokes in that column.

Posted by: Amy Alkon [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 30, 2007 7:42 AM

To be fair, most of them are constantly being drilled on how horrible it is to make fun of any part of a woman's anatomy, particularly any part that links strongly to her sense of her own attractiveness. You can't really blame them for wanting equal treatment in that regard.

(No, I'm not saying you've ever played that message, but they do get it from many quarters.)

Posted by: lily [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 30, 2007 9:26 AM

"By the way, in the "Americans have no fucking sense of humor" department, a bunch of men wrote in to tell me how horrible I was for making small penis jokes in that column."

Those guys must have been part of the "Little Dick Clique." Don't take them too seriously...

Posted by: Morbideus [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 30, 2007 6:48 PM

It sounds like you are watching too many ads on TV. Get a DVR from your cable company or tivo or start using your DVR to remove ads. The 30 seconds skip button that they removed at the request of the advertisers can be reinstalled by using these instructions

you will never go back to fast forward again.

there are 18 minutes of ads every hour of commercial TV--it is faster and less breaks in continuity.

want to watch something live, start on the hour and then watch something else recorded for 18 minutes or more (a half hour show is 22 minutes)

you will not believe how fast you can watch sports with this method.

then return to ad free pleasure

for tivo

1. Turn on your unit and start any recorded program from your “Now Playing” list.
2. From the TiVo remote, as the program is rolling, click the following buttons: Select – Play – Select – 30 – Select
3. When you are done, your TiVo should make the “bong” sound (perhaps as many as three times), indicating your unit is activated for the feature.

for motorola, comcast time warner rcn DVR

procedure to program 30 second skip to the remote.

1) Press the “Cable” button at the top of the remote to put it into Cable Box control mode.
2) Press and hold the “Setup” button until the “Cable” button blinks twice.
3) Type in the code 994. The “Cable” button will blink twice
4) Press (do not hold) the “Setup” button
5) Type in the code 00173 (for 30 second Skip)
6) Press whatever button you want to map the skip

PS and stop worrying about your dick and go down on the lady once in a while

love ya

Posted by: iceman at December 1, 2007 1:59 AM

Well, I AM the biggest horse in the barn.

As one of my former lovers used to say "It looks like a baby's arm with an apple in its fist!".

Sadly, she took her life after she was unable to find satisfaction with other men.

In her suicide note she mentioned being tormented by dreams of trains too large to fit into tunnels, foot-long hot dogs dripping with mustard that were too big to eat, and torpedos that were too large to stuff into the launch tubes.

Yes, it's true, most men are endowed like horses, or fire hoses, or those great big Italian salamis hanging up at the deli, or Louisville Sluggers, or gigantic zucchinis.

How shameful that LW is not.

Posted by: Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers [TypeKey Profile Page] at December 1, 2007 10:31 AM

WooHoo, Amy. You come up with some winners. Personally, I figure you invent all of these LWs, but that doesn't detract from the entertainment factor for me. Keep 'em coming.

This one's fun, just a basic role reversal scenario. How many times have I heard similar drivel from dozens of women in my 50 years? Couldn't begin to count. I always told them, "If you love your body, I promise I will," but it didn't matter to some of them.

If you ever get writer's block, drop me a line - I got some story lines for you. How about this one: guy's girlfriend likes having sex in public, etc. where there's a chance of being caught. Problem is guy figures out he likes it too - too much. He pops too fast, gf is frustrated. What's boy to do?

no charge

Posted by: ron lewis at December 1, 2007 3:02 PM

I usually I only lurk here as I write and talk too much as it is. I "stop by" to take a break here.I was intoduced to the Goddess' Column by a coworker when she wrote a piece pertaining to an issue I'm very passionate about.

Amy's brutal honesty threaded with those who post with the same artistic ability leaves me splitting my stomach as I read. This column is quite addicting.

I don't mean to rub it in guys, but my second wife is flawless and perfect, PERIOD. Too much is never enough, "honey I'd like to get laid" is a perfectly acceptable request at ANY hour and she could teach the bimbos in porn a thing or two.

Given that she's a non-drinker and met me at the lowest point in my life as I sipped 1 3/4 litres of Wild Turkey 101 every three days, I'm not screwing this up. I don't know what in the hell she saw in me, but my desire to stop drinking (she NEVER ONCE ragged on me for it) disappeared real quick as I knew it wasn't going to be tolerated forever. Cigarettes and alcohol were dropped like the bad habits they were because I wanted to "clean up" for her.

I'm Italian and fairly proud of the salami, but still feel jaded. I feel that as I Whop, by birthright I was entitled to a couple of more inches. When I was flying the Turkey and sending cute pictures via email, the response of a hot college tennis player was, "DAMN!! I WANT SOME ITALIAN IN ME!"

In fishing for a penis trophy one night, I told my wife, "I saw a commercial where a male can gain 2-3" by having a tendon cut. The downside is you'll lose some hardness as a result. "NO!" I won my trophy (unbeknownst to her) and have said nothing since.

Regarding those penis pills advertised by "Bob" whose ass I'd like to kick from here to hell, it's a crock. I live less than 40 minutes from that company's headquaters and they're getting sued for bukoo dollars for their fraud. I have to ask the shortstroke who needs to apologize to his wife, "why in the hell would you buy "Bob's" pills when he acts like such a candy-assed moron in those adds?" His face just begs to be recontoured with someones fists.

I'm thinking he bought the damn pills, took them, and reduced his intelligence to "Bob's" level when he set his wife up with the question then complained when she was honest.

Obviously his wife is able to orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation, or he sure as hell wouldn't be whining about penis size. He'd be complaining about a sore tongue after doing his ABC's forwards, backwards, up, down, in circles and sideways on his wife's clit for 30 - 40 minutes. "Of course I'm sure my neck and tongue don't hurt honey, just relax, enjoy it, and remember dear, it takes the average woman up to 45 minutes to orgasm..."Thank God only he and I know that I'm crying inside form the pain in my neck and tongue and praying for her to orgasm before my jaw permantly seizes up.I'll take lockjaw over that pain any day, anyone have a few rusty nails I can step on? "Awe babe, I'm sorry, I can't give you oral since I developed TMJ.

My current wife is only the second woman I've been with who didn't orgasm after 10 - 15 minutes of vaginal or oral sex. The time it takes her to orgasm leaves me wishing someone would have cut my tongue out on one of those numerous occasions when I was running my mouth like the idiot I was.

Don't get me wrong, nothing turns me on more than giving the wife oral, but when it feels like I've got a blow torch for a tongue and my neck hurts for 3 days post oral, I'd trade a couple inches of penis for a Gene Simmons tongue.

Friend, with all due respect, if you've got enough to get her off with the sausage, count your freaking blessings!The next time you wish to whine about your own perception of insufficient equipment, then make up for it by giving your wife 45 minutes of oral and consider tossing the salad while you're at it.

I found three gems at the book store today, titled as follows:

"Mars and Venus in Touch Enhancing the Passion with Great Communication."

"Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"

"Mars And Venus In The Bedroom A Guide to Lasting Romance and Passion"

Oh yea, I almost forgot, tell "Bob" I said he'd better hope he never meets me or I'll slap that irritating smile off his face and knock his teeth out.

Tony

Posted by: Tony F at December 2, 2007 7:17 PM

PSS I wouldn't be questioning if I was the biggest horse in the barn, I'd be wondering if I was the biggest ass in the barn.

Signed,

Desperately Wishing I Had a Gene Simmons Tongue

Posted by: Tony F at December 2, 2007 7:22 PM

"I feel that as I Whop, by birthright I was entitled to a couple of more inches."

I assume you mean as a "WOP". It means "With Out Papers" as many of immigrants from Italy were unregistered back in the early 20th century. Like my grandparents...

So Gog-Magog, can you do push-ups with that thing?

As for me personally, noone's ever complained, so neither do I...

Posted by: Morbideus [TypeKey Profile Page] at December 3, 2007 11:06 AM

I can't believe this guy. After 35 years of marriage he's acting like a five year old having a temper tantrum.

Some advice to you, Dude. If your marriage is still good after 35 years, you must be doing it right and need to apologize to your wife and acknowlege how much of an ass munch you are.

PS- Diamonds wouldn't hurt, either.

Posted by: Rich [TypeKey Profile Page] at December 3, 2007 12:08 PM

My wife told me a story about a hookup she had when she was younger. The guy took of his pants and her jaw hit the floor, I guess at the same time as his member.

"You aren't going near me with THAT thing!!"

She promptly left. It all depends on preference I've been told. Some like 'em big, others do not.

Posted by: Amax [TypeKey Profile Page] at December 4, 2007 8:02 AM

This reminds me of the worst series of dates in my life. I met the guy on the net, he said he was 5'8 in man talk that usually means 5'6 but this guy must have been 5'4 tops. Do they think you wont notice? Anyhow, trying not to be a shallow 5'8 high heel lover I went on a couple dates. All this guy talked about were his two ex-wives...oh, both Fashion Models and trying to name drop. Ok, after a year I was desperate and slept with him. OMG I think a tampon could have been better. It is not so terrible if a willy is a little on the small side but come on guys, make up for it a little. You need to work at other things. Face it a Selfish lover with a 3 inch willy aint getting far. Plus whats with the "I only date fashion models"? To make me feel as insecure as he was. After the horrible sex he whips out some crystal Meth. Man was I outta there. It makes for a funny story though. Every word outta that guys mouth was a lie. As if I wont notice he is 4 inches shorter than me, but we are both 5'8, His teeny weeny is the size of my pinky and barely moved while he tries to see porn in the mirror. Those lies about the models, It's dam near hysterical. I should have slammed the door in his short little face. Everything was a lie. This guy needs to thank his lucky stars and get over it.

Posted by: susan [TypeKey Profile Page] at December 6, 2007 2:57 PM

"I assume you mean as a "WOP". It means "With Out Papers" as many of immigrants from Italy were unregistered back in the early 20th century. Like my grandparents... "

Morbideus - Yes, without papers. Don't forget that Tony means To NY!

Posted by: Tony F at December 6, 2007 3:59 PM

There is definitely a maximum size, before it gets uncomfortable and painful. There's also a minimum size, beyond which you can't feel it, but that can be fixed with one of those augmenters they sell in sex shops.

Posted by: Chrissy at December 11, 2007 3:32 PM

"...that can be fixed with one of those augmenters they sell in sex shops." - Chrissy

Hey thanks, Chrissy. That comment wasn't creepy at all. Really.

sheesh.

Posted by: Snoop-Diggity-DANG-Dawg at December 12, 2007 6:58 AM

this reminds of some women I've dated that would ask "does this make me look fat"....of course they really don't want to hear an honest answer. They want you to tell them no. Maybe this guy is a woman....or maybe he's gay and just refers to his male wife as "her" and "she". dunno.

Posted by: David at January 7, 2008 10:32 PM

Size does matter, if there isn't enough to work with. BUT, too much is just a waste. Years ago I had a lover who had a whopper, but there was as much outside me as inside me! Probably that didn't do much for him either, although he never said so. Anyway, the sex was very good but would have been just as good if he had been normal-sized. I've found that it isn't the length that matters, it's the girth. In my opinion, anyway, there's nothing like that nice full feeling!

Posted by: Jazzkitty at January 21, 2008 10:25 PM

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