Unprivate Ryan
My girlfriend's wonderful. Unfortunately, whenever we have a disagreement, she shares it on social media. She feels she has a right to do that because it's part of her life. Am I not entitled to a private life while I'm with her?
--News Object
Some favor the social media approach to the "examined life," Instagramming their medical records and crowdsourcing their flatulence problem. Others take a more guarded tack -- encrypting everything...including their cat videos.
The longing for privacy -- keeping certain info about yourself from public consumption -- is a very human thing, a desire that probably evolved out of our need to protect our reputation. In ancestral times, having a bad reputation could lead to a person being booted from their band and made to go it alone -- back when "fast food" would've been all the zippy small animals they couldn't catch while they were starving to death.
Contrary to your girlfriend's notion that "relationship" is just another way of saying "two-person surveillance state," you have a right to privacy. This is a fundamental human right, explained Louis Brandeis and Samuel Warren in the Harvard Law Review in 1890, and it comes out of our right to be left alone. So, yes, you are entitled to pick the "privacy settings" on your own life, because the information about your thoughts, emotions, and romantic interactions belongs to you. Nobody gets to dispense that info publicly without your permission -- even if this means they have to keep part of their life (the part with you) under wraps.
To stop your girlfriend from turning your relationship into a giant data breach, trigger her sympathy -- explaining how awful it feels to become infotainment for a bunch of strangers (and, worse, people you know). Better yet, help her feel it: "Honey...just imagine going on Twitter and finding your therapist's new account: 'Heard In Session.'"
Odds are you are just a prop in the story of her life
People who care about you dont repeatedly violate your trust and trash you to their friends
I'm guessing you think she is wonderful because you haven't been together long enough for the dopamine high to fade
lujlp at November 28, 2017 10:50 PM
Right, lujlp. The first time she does it, okay - she deals with things differently than you do. You tell her how it makes you feel and ask that she not share those things again. The second time, though, is a deal breaker. Obviously you're not on the same page.
cp_deb at November 29, 2017 8:30 AM
Your girlfriend is immature.
Also: People who post about their fights with significant others/document their break-ups in detail on social media are people you want to avoid (for romantic relationships AND friendships). It is known.
sofar at November 29, 2017 8:34 AM
Prop is a good word.
I would use the word 'foil'. He is the contrast to show how awful/bad he is, while she shows how goody/wonderful she is, a) compared to him and b) by being a martyr by staying with awful/bad.
Just so she can hear from her friends 'he doesn't deserve you'.
Now, there ARE other interpretations to her actions, but let's not discount this one since she seems incredibly superficial.
FIDO at November 30, 2017 1:12 AM
"My girlfriend's wonderful"
I disagree.
"whenever we have a disagreement, she shares it on social media"
And there's the proof.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at November 30, 2017 9:15 AM
Prop, foil? Sure. But how about "extra".
phunctor at December 1, 2017 6:58 AM
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