You were at a restaurant or at an airport or someplace and somebody was rude to you, or you saw someone being rude. Now's your chance to vent...and maybe have your comment become part of my next book.
Find topics below that you have comments on, suggest a topic, or post miscellaneous comments at the bottom (see “Miscellaneous”). Feel free to also post suggestions of what good behavior would be.
Feel free to remain anonymous or come up with one of those goofy Internet comment names.
Please do leave me your real e-mail address (it won’t be published) in case I need to contact you to find out more.
My Pinterest Page With Sharable Quotes On Manners And Rudeness
Enjoy 'em! Share 'em! Many of these quotes are selections from my new book, "Good Manners For Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck," which isn't even out yet, as I'm posting this -- but will be, June 3.
I'll be continuing to post these, so there will be more very soon!
Please consider pre-ordering my book, "Good Manners For Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck" (June 3, 2014, St. Martin's Press).
Talk to me about rude pedestrians.
You know, like those people walking three or four abreast, blockading the entire sidewalk so nobody can get by...what are rude things people do on the sidewalk (and thereabouts)?
Feel free to include neighborhood encounters, dog-walking rudeness, and anything that happens in or around or relatively related to being a person out walking. (Grocery store aisle blockaders will be covered in another section.)
Rudeness in parking lots, street parking, blocked driveways...what are your experiences? Vent away!
Here's how I dealt with a rude parker in my neighborhood.
Talk to me about rudeness behind the wheel.
Remember the guy in the pharmacy line with his cell phone on speaker? Tell me your pet peeves about cell phone rudeness.
Talk to me about restaurant rudeness!
Waiters and waitresses, what do really rude customers do?
If you're a customer, tell me your stories -- nasty servers, flagrantly rude customers...lay it on me.
Rudeness at the airport, in the TSA line, on the plane, at baggage claim, when making or changing reservations...there are so many places so many people act out. Talk to me about what you've seen and suffered through!
Please send flight attendants and other airline personnel here to vent. It isn't just the customers who have something to complain about -- by any means.
Flight attendants, please post your pet peeves and suggestions for what passengers need to do to make flying less rude and horrible for all of us. (And any horror stories.)
The Underparented Child
I don't blame the children, but their "parents." Tell me your experiences with people's devilspawn.
Bathrooms, public and private. As I blogged the other day, after I walked into a bathroom with no toiletpaper:
Is it really that hard to figure out what the outcome's going to be for the next person?"
What is it that keeps people from walking up to the counterperson at a cafe and saying, "Hey, man, you're out of toiletpaper?"
That's just one of my experiences. I'm sure you have plenty more. Lay 'em on me -- and please wipe the seat when you're done.
Rudeness at the grocery store, the mall, the hardware store, the Costco, the Walmart, the Trader Joe's, the Farmers' Market. What fresh (perhaps organic!) hell is this? Tell me about yours!
I mean romantically speaking, not carbon. What are rudenesses you've experienced on the dating and relationships front?
Waiting In Lines
Surely you've waited behind or with some real jerks. Tell me about it, and about what really bugs you about how people behave in line.
For your amusement, here's that classic Marshall McLuhan movie line scene from Woody Allen's "Annie Hall."
Had some rudesters at one you've given or gone to? Tell the tales!
Bad behavior at the ATM. Surely, you've experienced some of the fun, like trying to do your business privately -- with some stranger standing so close they're practically wearing you. Vent away!
There are the jerks who whip out their BlackBerry, and I want to know why people drop their food wrappers and cups on the floor instead of enduring that terrible struggle to drop them in a trash can four feet from the exit. And I want to know what bugs the hell out of you, too, in the movie theater.
Love those men on the New York City subway who spread their knees way out and squeeze people on either side...like it's just SOOO BIGGGG they can't keep 'em together. Right. I saw Ron Jeremy at a Hustler party and he didn't sit that way.
What are your public transportation pet peeves?
(Oh, and photo NSFW unless you work for me.)
Blood relatives can be the source of some bloody battles, or at least some very miserable Thanksgiving dinners. Let lose about your relatives or others' who come up short in the manners department, and tell me your family get-together horror stories.
There's a section for rudeness that's airport specific just above. Here, please tell your tales of the rudenesses you encountered while vacationing or on business travel.
Rude boss? Rude co-workers? Rude customers? Do tell!
P.S. There will be a separate section for coffeehouse patrons and employees, so if you work or visit one, please look for it below.
The Coffee House
Welcome to caffeinated hell. You're either a barrista or somebody who patronizes Starbucks or other coffeehouses, and I want to hear about all the jerks you've encountered while coffeeing up.
Here's my most recent:
They're so nice at the Starbucks I go to on Sundays, taking super care of my friend Tom, who's in a motorized wheelchair, and being really friendly and kind to all the customers.
If they aren't busy, and you order some kind of heated sandwich, they'll pop over and give it to you. But, a couple days ago, this man snarled, "Where's my bagel?!" to one of the employees (not the one who took his order, apparently, either).
She told him it was probably on the counter by the oven, and then went and got it for him. He barely looked up when he took it from her.
"I was under the impression you don't have table service here," I said, wink-wink.
"We don't," she said.
You've got to love a guy who buys a $2.95 breakfast sandwich and expects snap-snap table service, too, like he's at Alain Ducasse.
There's much that stinks at the gym, and much of it's the behavior of gym patrons, and sometimes the people running the place. Tell me about the boors at yours.
The doctor's office, the dentist's, the psychiatric waiting room, the car dealership fixit department, the DMV...places you wait and the rude, rude people in them. Tell me about them!
Customer Service: Utility Companies
One of my least favorite things to do is call the cable company or the company that provides my Internet service.
I try not to get short with the person on the line (they're just trying to feed their children). All too often, this takes a good bit of effort -- when you're disconnected three times, meaning you're forced to wade through their electronic gatekeeping three times, and then you get somebody on the line whose command of English rivals my command of Portuguese.
Your experience may vary. But, probably not a hell of a lot.
This isn't a section about cell phone rudeness. You'll find that above. Talk to me about telephone-inflicted rudeness, by people -- and people who work for telemarketing companies -- calling you on your cell or at home.
Sometimes your friends really act like "friends." They're always late, they walk all over you in other ways. Talk to me about those times.
The hairdresser, the masseuse, the nail salon. Are you a customer? An employee? An owner? Tell me about the ugly behavior you've experienced!
Gotta love those anono-weenie commenters who wouldn't say "Where's the asparagus?" to you in the supermarket, but say the rudest things to or about you on the Internet. For example, this recent tweet I got from a guy who didn't like a post I wrote about bikers taking up all lanes of the street:
@Deprogrammer9 @amyalkon eat a dick hag. 8:15 AM Aug 29th via web
Tell me your experiences with rudeness on the Internet.
Boorish behavior at the bar. What's your experience? As a server, a bartender, a customer?
Talk to me about ways people are rude with money -- with stinginess and asking how much you make and more.
Do you tip the maid in a hotel? The attendant in a fancy restaurant or nightclub restroom? Have you observed (or been on the other side of) tipping rudeness? What are your ideas and standards about tipping? Do tell!
Talk to me about neighbors who don't act all that neighborly. Got any stories about great neighbors? Tell me those, too.
One way to be a good neighbor: You know those young parents without a lot of money who never get out? Offer to babysit their kids for an evening so they can. Of course, this is easier and a lot less saintly if they're also good parents. (I just made this offer to my neighbors, who are.)
My dog is trained not to bark (although she will bark at intruders -- good!). My thinking: Your reading/sleep/your life should not be disturbed because I have a pet. Unfortunately, it seems, with that thinking, I'm in the minority.
Talk to me about pet owners, good and bad, and really damn ugly.
Public nail-clipping is a huge pet peeve of mine. And while there are people who sometimes accidentally pass gas, there are also those who lift a cheek off the chair and just let a big loud one rip, Napalm-bombing everyone in a square-mile radius. Talk to me about your experiences with those whose bodies are minor but very yucky weapons use against the rest of us.
Unsolicited Advice Givers
I give advice for a living, and I generally think it's rude to just pop off, unsolicited, with advice for a person. Your thoughts and experiences?
Feminism left people really confused. When a guy opens a door for a women, does she tell him to go screw himself or does she just say "Thank you"? (Let's hope the answer is obvious.) Who pays on dates is a trickier question. What's your experience with manners and rudeness gender to gender?
On a low-carb diet? Gluten intolerant? Just intolerant?
Sometimes people with special needs have special requests for friends, employers, strangers or dinner hosts. Is it possible to make them politely? And have you experienced any rude ones?
Kindly wash. If you're going to the movies, don't spray yourself with perfume, and especially not at forcefield volume. And kindly don't brush your hair or trim your cuticles in a place that serves food. In a word, EEEUW!
And then, how about if you, um, leave a stain of a personal nature on a friend's furniture? Has that ever happened to you?
Talk to me about your experiences in this arena!
The tipping the maid question is covered in tipping above. But, talk to me about other rudenesses in hotel and motel stays, and your favorite remedies, if any!
What are the rudenesses you've experienced around gift-giving? And do you have any pleasant surprises you can talk about or advice for good conduct in this area?
Give me the dope: When celebrations of love turn into flagrant displays of the worst possible manners.
And if you have any clever ideas on polite things to do or ways to be polite, please throw 'em in.
Religion (And Unbelief)
When you sneeze and somebody says "God bless you" do you inform them there's no evidence for the existence of any such being...or do you just say thank you? Talk to me about rudeness related to believing and non.
What's your experience with rudeness and apologies? What makes a sincere one? Any outrageous or inspiring stories?
I haven't had a roommate (other than my dog) for a lot of years, so I really need your help. Lay your roommate rudenesses on me, and talk to me about what it takes to live well amongst others.
There are other categories here just above for airport and hotel rudenesses.
What I want to know about just below are the general travel rudenesses you've experienced. For example, travel columnist Christopher Elliott writes in the Chicago Tribune of "5 ways travelers have lost their manners," summed up in this Consumerist post by Chris Morran:
*Travelers treat their destinations with a sense of "I'm on vacation so I can do what I want" entitlement; *They either smell bad or like a walking perfume/cologne sample; *They dress like a depressed George Costanza when they travel; *They're ill-prepared and ill-informed and "act as if they're still at home"; *They let their offspring run wild like the world is their playground.
What are your experiences with these or other forms of boors on the road?