Have You Been To Breakup Hell?
In a recent Sex In The City, Berger broke up with Carrie via Post-It note. Have you experienced breakup via Fedex or discovered you were no longer seeing somebody after they blocked your email and phone calls? I'm collecting horrible, humiliating breakup stories, and I'd appreciate if you'd post yours or others' you've heard about in the comments section just below:
I heard of one guy who sent his girlfriend a dozen roses for Valentine's Day. He cut the heads off, so when she opened the box, they all gracelessly fell out.
In my department store, I was working with the floral department to help out during Valentine's Day, so I've seen it all. One guy ordered a dozen roses for his girlfriend, and asked me to write the card since his penmanship was illegible:
"Roses are red,
"Balls are blue,
"What I really want now
"Is to stick it in you!"
By all accounts, his girlfriend got her tee-hees over that. The airhead was just degraded into a sex object, and she giggles about it. Gotta love those that are too dumb to know when they've just been insulted.
Patrick at August 22, 2003 5:19 PM
I haven't been the same since Berger left. He was the cutest.
Lena Cuisina at August 22, 2003 8:23 PM
I broke up with someone via email. I inquired in my email if this was bad form?
She wrote back that if anyone else had done it via email, she would've been offended but with me, she understood.
I wonder what that means?
Luke Ford at August 25, 2003 1:38 PM
Not too long ago, a personals ad man and I courted each other for a couple of weeks via emails and phone calls. We eventually got together and had a fun afternoon of sex and conversation. A couple of days later, however, he sent an email saying that he didn't want to pursue it any further.
Getting this news via email wasn't so bad. The interaction was neatly informative and non-emotional. Maybe if he'd been as cute and fabulous as Berger, I'd have been devastated. I was out and about peddling my jiggly white ass again in no time.
Lena Cuisina at August 25, 2003 4:59 PM
MY EX FIANCE WERE ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED AND HAD BOUGHT ALL OUR FURNITURE, RINGS, YOU NAME IT. WELL THINGS WEREN'T GOING SO WELL FOR A FEW WEEKS, BUT I FIGURED WE'D WORK IT OUT SOMEHOW. HE ENDED UP BREAKING OFF EVERYTHING ON CHRISTMAS DAY CLAIMING HE DIDN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE. I HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME SINCE, AND MAYBE NEVER WILL.
CHRISTINE REVELES at November 22, 2003 11:36 AM
I would have to say my misery all started 4 years
ago at my class reunion when I ran into a old school
mate from 20 years ago.We had both changed so much
that I didn't even recognize him at first . After we
talked a short while at the reunion we started
chatting quite often by phone and e-mails.
I will have to say he was a real sweet talker
who had just finalized his own divorce 2 years prior.
He always promised me the moon,stars and practically
the whole universe.Flowers,cards and letters came to
my front door step and my work place all the time.He
claimed he loved me and of course being in a troubled
marriage ,he tossed out the bait and stupid me
swallowed it .I moved out on my husband,kids and ended
up being served with a fresh set of divorce papers. At
this time I didn't care simply because I was heading
down a brighter path . Once a packed up all my
personal things and rented a moving van I moved to
Florida with this clown .I took my little one with me
only to discover this was indeed one of the biggest
mistakes any mother or wife could have possibly done.
I was miserable down there !I was missing my children
and my family something fierce and I was given a quick
reality check you might say . This old classmate was
self employed and I soon started working for him
.Well after a brief time I was expected to work and
turn all proceeds over to him to pay the current bills
and the previous bills both him and his ex had
acquired.Also keep in mind he had only one child and
at this time she was handed everything to her on a
silver platter.This includes a cell phone and
automobile.Good old Daddy paid the whole bill with my
help of course. I believe all he wanted me for was
cash flow.While I spent the 9 months down there with
him he through a fit when my older kids wanted to come
down and I needed to help pay the airfare.He also
fought me on the issue of calling my family and kids
long distance .he claimed it was running the bill up .
He failed to think about who was paying for the long
distance. It was me !!!!!
Well let me tell you something else.he
was still remaining in contact with his EX.He claimed
it was on the count of his 18 year old daughter. Sorry
but the girl was doing just fine this was just an
excuse in my eyes. Not only was he remaining in
contact with her but he was also messing around with a
local dance instructor who he had known for years. It
was none stop for him. Ok there was 2 women already
but while I was down there he had pulled the same
lines on a old high school sweetheart who ended up
divorcing her husband and relocating in Florida also
.I would have to say she lived a whole 5 minutes away
from us . What a convenience huh? Everytime I would
ask him something about any of these women he would
get so defensive.I should have really opened my eyes
back then . He was not only a user but he was a
control freak.
Two years ago when he layed his
normal line on me about the way we were living I
responded by saying "I'll rent a truck and I'll be out
of here by the end of the week"This is exactly what I
did too .I packed my little one up and moved back
north where I belong. This was the best move I could
have done.I'm much happier and so his my family.
To make a long story short,he sold
everything business wise and moved North a year ago
.He moved here with the pretenses that we could have
something good going. Considering the user ,compulsive
liar and control freak that he is I said "Noway!".Well
my suspicions were right along .After he was turned
down again he called up his EX in Florida and said he
wanted to make it work with her after four years of
being divorced. Of course she was so desperate she
said "YES" Two week later he flew her up from Florida
and they were married. I do believe he acted upon
loneliness,desperation and ego simply because a month
after they were remarried he was knocking on my
apartment door saying that he should have listened to
me .He said he was miserable and the love for her did
not come back like he thought . Once again I told him
that I was sorry to hear that . Been there and done
that !When someone wants you to put them before your
own kids then there is a problem I think .
As of this day ,I'm happily reunited with
my family again.In family I'm talking about my kids,my
husband whom I never divorced.In a week we will be
married 22 years.(This was a major issue with my
friend from Florida.Even though he was with his EX
still insisted on me doing this) Whats his main
malfunction????? I hope that there are a few readers
out there and stop to think before they fall for these
phony 's .I have made some major mistakes here but at
the same token I have learned many valuable lessons
.One lesson I have learned is that no matter what I
had done there is always one person that continued to
love me . My husband!!!! With this man I don't have to
worry about the lying,cheating and taking me for a
fool.The battle and the games are over and I feel much
better.
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MissBrnEyes at January 21, 2004 8:11 AM