Advice Goddess Blog
« Previous | Home | Next »

Highly Enjoyable Review Of A Highly Unenjoyable Movie
James Verniere writes in the Boston Herald, I can't be the only person wishing Affleck and Lopez would just skip the wedding and go straight to the divorce, thereby sparing the lives of thousands of innocent trees. He continues with a helpful sidebar:

The five most appalling things about "Gigli."

*Ben Affleck (Larry Gigli) says, "In every relationship, there is a bull and a cow," while attempting to "convert" Jennifer Lopez (Ricki) from a lesbian to a heterosexual.

*Affleck says, "I love my penis," while debating the virtues of male and female genitals with Lopez.

*Lopez entices Affleck to have sex with her by saying, "Gobble, gobble. It's turkey time."

*Lopez's hysterical dejected lesbian lover slashes her wrists, which, of course, is how all hysterical lesbians would behave.

*Kidnapped mentally retarded teenager Brian (Justin Bartha) does a spastic dance of joy.

Posted by aalkon at August 3, 2003 1:29 AM