Highly Enjoyable Review Of A Highly Unenjoyable Movie
James Verniere writes in the Boston Herald, ìI can't be the only person wishing Affleck and Lopez would just skip the wedding and go straight to the divorce, thereby sparing the lives of thousands of innocent trees.î He continues with a helpful sidebar:
The five most appalling things about "Gigli."*Ben Affleck (Larry Gigli) says, "In every relationship, there is a bull and a cow," while attempting to "convert" Jennifer Lopez (Ricki) from a lesbian to a heterosexual.
*Affleck says, "I love my penis," while debating the virtues of male and female genitals with Lopez.
*Lopez entices Affleck to have sex with her by saying, "Gobble, gobble. It's turkey time."
*Lopez's hysterical dejected lesbian lover slashes her wrists, which, of course, is how all hysterical lesbians would behave.
*Kidnapped mentally retarded teenager Brian (Justin Bartha) does a spastic dance of joy.