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Put On Your Red Wig
Yes, it's that time again, time to tell me what you think about what I think. Here's Connect The Spots:

Just because a playerís found love doesnít mean heís going to stop looking for it. Perhaps thatís why thereís an aspiring Annette Bening in every woman. Bening is more than a movie star -- sheís the woman who turned Warren Beatty into Ward Cleaver. Itís the ultimate female ego-polisher, to be the one who had what it took to tame the beast. The truth is, thereís no woman fabulous enough. Only the beast can tame the beast...moreªª

Comment on this week's column posting. Just below and to the right.

Posted by aalkon at September 10, 2003 12:31 AM


I empathize with Play it Again's situation and was happy to see some hard realism dispensed. But the "secret dating" smells bad to me. Love is not ashamed -- not that I don't appreciate her prudence in staying off the radar of Company rumor. I'd encourage PIA to think about whether the secrecy comes from reasonable corporate restraint (heh) or because she fears the judgement of her coworkers (not all of whom, I imagine, are complete idiots).

My point is that something made her write you, right? My sense is that she smells something rotten -- and she should start by debriefing the driver. People should trust their poop-detectors: if it smells like poop, it's almost certainly poop.

Plus this is totally an aside but I dont think "time will tell" qualifies as advice so much as one of those fundamental universal truths about the universe, like Boltzmann's constant or the speed of light. Time will tell -- it always does.


Posted by: Sicilicide at September 10, 2003 1:04 AM

Can she tame the "playa?" Not likely. Not unless she has the credentials necessary to help him overcome his lack of confidence. That's right. His "lack of confidence." Playas are often described as "over-confident" when in fact, just the opposite is true (and there is no such thing as "over-confidence").

Promiscuity happens for one reason: a burning desire for intimacy is opposed by a fear of intimacy. The playa fears the yawning abyss of intimate involvement, so he is compensating for it by plunging into the plastic wading pool version many times over. Apparently, he's finding this stratagem inadequate (as they tend to do eventually) else he would not crave something deeper.

Is he ready? Probably not. Not based on the testimony of those "in the know." He's still a womanizer. He's just as fearful of intimacy as ever, only the desire for intimacy is not satified with the numbers and is becoming more insistent. Something has to give in this man's life. Let's hope it's his insecurity first.

Posted by: Patrick at September 10, 2003 9:28 AM

By the way, I had to think about that "Putting on the red wig..." Stupid of me to miss the point, since I once called you "the wittiest redhead since Lucille Ball." I was ready to start singing, "The sun'll come out... tomorrow... betcher bottom dollar that tomorrow... there'll be sun. Just thinkin' about... tomorrow... clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow... till there's none..."

Posted by: Patrick at September 10, 2003 6:25 PM

Patrick, have you been snorting crack with Lena?

Posted by: (Amy Alkon) at September 11, 2003 2:15 AM

Be nice to Patrick and me! We love that song! I probably wouldn't have finished my dissertation without it.

Posted by: Lena Cuisina at September 11, 2003 7:31 AM

The goddess writes: Patrick, have you been snorting crack with Lena?

Well, since crack is a pea-sized chunk and is intended to be smoked, I should think snorting it would be a very unpleasant thing to do. The rock would get stuck up our noses, or worse, our sinuses. And I don't even want to guess what would happen if it got into our windpipes or lungs. So, I think it's safe to assume that Lena and I have not been "snorting crack."

Have you been smoking cocaine, Amy?

Posted by: Patrick at September 11, 2003 11:08 AM

You only hurt the ones you love. I am woefully uninformed about crack, and I have not been smoking cocaine -- I'm just naturally whacked!

Posted by: (Amy Alkon) at September 11, 2003 12:09 PM