The Oral Of The Story
From The Best Of Craig's List, a hilarious ad, entitled "Why I gave you that excellent blow job last year." Two choice excerpts:
That autistic-like repetition that drove you to pick one 6 inch part of my skin and rub it like you were cleaning the windows, then never deviate again? Did you not notice that it didnít even elicit an appreciative murmur? Did you not notice that I froze? Pay attention, man! And is there a reason that you picked a spot on my back to apply this movement to, as opposed to, say, a documented and socially recognized erogenous zone?I was having a difficult enough time dealing with the Wax-on, Wax-off routine with your hand, but good grief, did you need to add that ìsexyî interrogation? ìDo you want me to talk dirty to you?î Well, no, bonehead, not if you have to ask. The idea is to try a tiny bit of it andÖhelloÖNOTICE the reaction! ìDo your titties like me?î What the fuck kind of a question is that? Do my titties like you?...I donít know, ask them!
If you're interested in the whole, sorry, blow-by-blow, and the semi-happy ending, click here.
The woman who wrote that little piece thinks she's so cool, but there is absolutely nothing cool about suffering in silence. She just hasn't discovered that it's possible, with determination and practice, to learn how to give someone head AND ATTITUDE at the same time. Yes, even with your mouth full, you can still shoot (so to speak) a scornful, upward glance at him that says it, loud and clear: "You can't be fucking serious."
Lena Cuisina at September 29, 2003 5:40 PM