Live Long And Kill Yourself
Katha Pollit, not exactly one of my favorite thinkers, takes a dim view of Carolyn Heibrun's rational take on ending it all:
"Quit while you're ahead' was, and is, my motto," wrote Carolyn Heilbrun, explaining why she had long intended to kill herself at 70....She was 77 when she finally took the pills she had somehow collected, having chosen a time when her husband would be in the country with the dog. ''The journey is over,'' read the note she left behind. ''Love to all.''
Seems a rather civilized way to go.
I agree completely! I think this issue was wonderfully addressed in Harold and Maude. At some point a person can become tired, and feel as though he (or she)has seen as much of the show as he wanted. What a great comfort to be able to plan your goodbyes, and not worry about ending up in a cold and uncaring facility somewhere. Also, a time limit may encourage a person to take that trip to Machu Pichu or wherever.
As Maude said- "that's wonderful Harold- now go out and love some more."
eric at December 28, 2003 11:19 AM
Pollitt's just disappointed to have lost her friend, and she's expressed that tactfully. However, I don't agree with everything she said, and I think she left of couple of things unexamined.
It isn't just suicide that "tears the web of human connnection;" natural death rarely comes when we're ready either. Very few people get to have all the important conversations and exchanges of "I love you" before they go. Pollitt seem to think that Weilbrun would've done this if she'd hadn't killed herself. At the same time, Pollitt valorizes "the little things": going to the grocery store, getting dressed up, mowing the lawn, etc. While these everyday activities are frequently sources of happiness, we can also use them to avoid important issues in our relationships with others -- right until the very end.
Perhaps it's naive to think that we'll ever grow up and get over all of the extreme fear, sadness, and anger that death causes.
Lena at December 28, 2003 11:45 AM
"....these everyday activities are frequently sources of happiness..."
And for those less healthy and capable, they're sources of terror.
Crid at December 28, 2003 1:14 PM
Crid! You're back from el mas alla! (the great beyond). Where the hell have you been?
Lena at December 28, 2003 1:37 PM
"And for those less healthy and capable, they're sources of terror."
That's what Pollitt was suggesting when she brought up untreated depression, I think (ie, if Weilbrun had gotten treatment, she's have joyfully stuck around for a couple more decades of little trips to the grocery store).
Lena at December 28, 2003 2:07 PM
"Katha Pollit, not exactly one of my favorite thinkers"
You were being quite generous there, Amy. Katha doesn't think. She faintly throbs, farts, and exudes patches of cheesy white residue at the corners of her mouth. Miraculously, she gets paid for this once in a while.
Lena will never marry at December 28, 2003 3:06 PM
Of course, it isn't the politest thing in the world to do to her husband... He, blissfully aware, waits to return to home and is greeted by the smell of decomposing wife.
I had a landlord whose daughter chose to kill herself by hanging herself in his garage. Egads, how she hated her dad.
Patrick at December 29, 2003 7:48 PM
I knew a guy who found his suicidal dad hanging from a noose. And this guy was one classic case of pent-up male anger.
Perhaps the alternative is to take everyone with you too. Sort of a Dog Day Afternoon approach to suicide.
But really, I can't relate to the suicidal thing, at least not at this point in my life. I like food and sex way too much to do myself in.
Cuntaleen at December 29, 2003 10:29 PM
By the way, Crid, so nice to see you again! We missed you! We figured you were taking some time off from online activities to go marry your gay lover.
Patrick at December 30, 2003 10:06 AM