When Professional Mommies Get Fired
Women who might think they're taking the cushy way out -- leaving professional jobs to stay home with their kids -- are liable find themselves in the same position as pre-women's movement divorcees: poor and careerless when their husbands leave them. Oh, and please, if you're a fulltime mom, don't bother complaining how hard you have it. Come on, it's 2003. It's not like you have to catch the goat, shear the goat, dye the wool, spin the wool, and knit the socks. You need socks for Junior #3? You simply go to Target, pull a pair off the rack, and plunk down plastic. Whew, how exhausting! Modern mommyhood, as a sole profession, isn't exactly breaking rocks on a chain gang.
Have you ANY idea of the enormous resposnsibility and constant demands on a divorced mother of 2 small kids? Apparently not. Caring for children is more than shopping at Target and charging it. I hope to God you remain child less forever.. you would be in for a big shock, and you surley would not be able to handle it.
Beth at December 27, 2003 1:05 PM
Hey, I'm a divorced single mom and while it wasn't easy when my daughter was small, it wasn't exactly highly skilled labor either. All Amy's saying is it's smart to keep one foot in the workplace so you won't be left high and dry if your husband leaves. I can say from experience she's got a point. Also, if she weren't secretly a sap for children she wouldn't like "In America."
Cathy Seipp at December 27, 2003 1:31 PM
Cathy is right. On all counts. I don't dislike children; I just dislike a lot of children -- all the the uninteresting, underparented ones. Of course, it's their parents' fault they're brats. The uninteresting part is probably mostly genetic, according to data I've read on the role of the environment vs. the role of the genes in how kids turn out.
Beth: I don't have any children -- that I know of. I intend to keep it that way. And, perhaps you need to elevate the reading comprehension, because I was suggesting that being a fulltime (nonworking mom) isn't exactly a killer of a job -- certainly not compared to what goes on in a serious corporate workplace. Of course, I recognize that being a divorced mom with no means of support AND raising two kids is quite difficult. Perhaps I don't have to tell you that. I do hope you told yourself to keep a foot in the job market so you're not financially helpless now. Moreover, I think it's essential, in order for women to maintain their self-esteem, and their husbands' interest in them, that they be more than just mothers. Your opinion probably varies. I'm restraining myself from the stigmata crack on my mind, and I hope you'll all give me credit for that.
PS There are five kids I think the world of -- one of whom happens to be three at the moment. The rest -- and Cathy's daughter Cecile is among them -- are actually PEOPLE I would be quick to spend time with -- not out of obligation, either, but because they're intellectually exciting and fun. One of these kids -- Oliver, 9 -- I actually took on a movie date when I was in New York. Voluntarily! My idea! Of course, being totally unconnected to the rigors of raising a profanity-free child, I saw nothing wrong with taking him to Bad Santa. His mother, however, vetoed it in favor of Big Fish -- which he and I both loved, despite its shortage of dirty words.
Amy Alkon at December 27, 2003 7:18 PM
Beth writes: "Have you ANY idea of the enormous resposnsibility and constant demands on a divorced mother of 2 small kids? Apparently not. Caring for children is more than shopping at Target and charging it. I hope to God you remain child less forever.. you would be in for a big shock, and you surley would not be able to handle it."
Well, aren't we just the sanctimonious holier-than-thou? Take a chill pill, toots. Amy was not degrading single mothers or the demands placed on them. She was simply pointing out that having a career as a single mom is workable. Modern times allow us to buy what mothers in days of yore had to make. Hence there's fewer skills involved. And she's right, too. How do I know this? I'm the youngest of nine children and my mother became a single parent three years after I was born, and she did have a career. (What choice did she have?) So, yes, it can be done. It was a full plate with seconds for my mother, to be sure, but she did it.
Personally, I think Amy would make a great mom, actually. Based upon what I read, I believe that she wouldn't raise unruly brats like most parents do these days.
I think another huge mistake parents make is letting computers and Nintendo take the place of outdoor activities and recreation. And people wonder why more kids are obese and coming down with type II diabetes.
Patrick at December 30, 2003 10:03 AM
I like it when people slap around divorced single mothers who whine. We should encourage women to marry well, selecting for excellence in parenting.
Nonetheless, the company of children is, in all contexts, deplorable.
Crid at December 30, 2003 2:09 PM