Cooter Conversations
You don't see men running around shouting about their penises. Why do certain feminists feel this relatively recent compulsion to express their feelings of "vaginal empowerment" via the spoken (or rather, screeched) word?
Lisa De Pasquale,Ýprogram director of the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute, casts a critical eye on The Vagina Monologues and the ticky-tacky "V-Day" (intended to be a -- cough, choke, where's my Dramamine? -- vagina-positive version of Valentine's Day). "The V-Day Web site proudly states that 'the 'V' stands for Victory, Valentine and Vagina,'" reports Pasquale, wryly adding, "Perhaps "Vulgar" should also be added to the list":
Some of their ideas for high school students include having a "Vagina Friendly" bake sale, designating a "Rape Free Zone" in one's high school, and organizing an "Envisioning Group" that brainstorms what the world would be like without violence.What high school has a designated rape area? What baked good are unfriendly to the vagina? One has to wonder if these activities are more successful in inciting snickers and embarrassment than ending violence against women and girls.
Not surprisingly, Gloria Steinem, oft-quoted disseminating crap like "The most dangerous situation for a woman is not an unknown man in the street, or even the enemy in wartime, but a husband or lover in the isolation of their own home," was compelled to weigh in with her own special brand of inanity:
The shape we call a heart resembles the vulva far more than the organ that shares its name. ...It was reduced from power to romance by centuries of male dominance.
Oh, please. Every time you speak, Gloria, I try to figure out what you have reduced yourself to since the last time I saw you quoted. Unfortunately, I'm never sure what, technically, would be the next step down from horse's ass -- the form you reduced yourself to decades ago, thanks to your myriad insipid, ridiculous, and blatantly false pronouncements. (Steinem's propaganda, along with that of numerous others from the feminist industrial complex, is neatly debunked in Who Stole Feminism? by Christina Hoff Sommers, a book I highly recommend to all women whose identities weren't extruded, fully-formed, from the man-hating, robo-victim sisterhood that feminism has become.)
Eek. Even after losing myself in paragraphs of Gloria-bashing above -- always invigorating! -- I'm still picturing bake sales piled high with little strawberry-frosted vagina cookies. Truly embarrassing. It's probably only a matter of time before these V-Girls are running around whining about how oppressed they are via home-made pussy hand puppets. Oops. Let's not give them any bad ideas they haven't already had all by themselves.
The Goddess writes: You don't see men running around shouting about their penises.
On the contrary, a lot of men actually give their penises first names. (And before anyone asks, I don't happen to have one for mine. I guess I'm just not as virile. Hey, that's a V word!)
I tend to take everything the Washington Times reports with a grain of salt, given their conservative bias (you only have to see the ad for compulsive liar Sean Hannity in the upper right corner to realize that). But this seems relatively objective -- like Gloria Steinem needs the help in making herself look like a megaweirdo -- and I find myself in agreement.
A "rape-free" zone? Silly me, I thought the whole country was that. Kind of like "free speech" zones that Dubya has whenever he appears in public.
What I find so unsettling really is this recurring theme that women who enjoy heterosexual sex are somehow "wrong," to "need to rely on a man."
Patrick at February 16, 2004 4:50 AM
I appreciate the comment about The Washington Times, but I think this piece is on the level. I despise all commentators -- from A (Anne Coulter) to M (Michael Moore) -- and beyond -- who use lies and distortions to prove their points.
Amy Alkon at February 16, 2004 8:02 AM
Gloria's now a widow, so I wonder what empowering action will result from her husband's death. She makes me want to smack her.
Someone in my office was exhorting us all do do something "wonderful for your vagina on V-Day". (I don't make this stuff up!) I told her I planned to entertain a penis in mine. She left my office.
kateCoe at February 16, 2004 12:04 PM
Dear Kate,
Thank you -- what a relief to know the entire female world hasn't got its head up Gloria's horse's ass!
-Amy (a big fan of penises as vaginal entertainment devices)
Amy Alkon at February 16, 2004 12:46 PM
It's worth noting that the single remaining adherent to GS's fashion trend for huge-framed aviator glasses is Hugh Hefner. All the better to leer at you with, my Dear....
I was maybe ten or twelve the first time someone sprung the "fish without a bicycle" line on me. Like much of the bloodless feminism Alkon deplores, it disregards actual human hearts: Many women like men, and are deeply enriched by holding their masculinity close in their lives. Elsewhere in the 1970's lefty enviros were whining that "people are removed from their natural environment..." And here was a perfect example, in the office next door.
Crid at February 16, 2004 12:57 PM
Soon enough, gay men will ask that their rectums stand up and be counted in the Broadway production of The R. Monologues.
Lena at February 16, 2004 1:28 PM
Lena is so witty.
And Crid: If, heh heh, if, according to the tenderheaded, "a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle," allow me to introduce myself as America's entry in the salmon category of the Tour de France.
Amy Alkon at February 16, 2004 1:35 PM
Crid writes: I was maybe ten or twelve the first time someone sprung the "fish without a bicycle" line on me. Like much of the bloodless feminism Alkon deplores, it disregards actual human hearts: Many women like men, and are deeply enriched by holding their masculinity close in their lives. Elsewhere in the 1970's lefty enviros were whining that "people are removed from their natural environment..." And here was a perfect example, in the office next door.
Wow. Crid and I actually agree on something. Call Ripley's! Or better, call 911! ::: clutching chest, staggering, Redd Foxx impression ::: "Oh, this is the big one! 'Lizabeth, I'm comin' to join you, honey!'
The Goddess writes: And Crid: If, heh heh, if, according to the tenderheaded, "a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle," allow me to introduce myself as America's entry in the salmon category of the Tour de France.
Always fishing for something to carp about, aren't you?
Regarding my comment about the Times, I agree that the article is on the level, despite where it comes from. Steinem just happens to be one of those rare topics that is sufficiently unbelievable so that it doesn't need the Times' embellishment.
Patrick at February 17, 2004 3:37 AM
Katecoe: Gloria's now a widow, so I wonder what empowering action will result from her husband's death. She makes me want to smack her.
Someone in my office was exhorting us all do do something "wonderful for your vagina on V-Day". (I don't make this stuff up!) I told her I planned to entertain a penis in mine. She left my office.
Good comeback, Kate. Your coworker should find a more tasteful topic to discuss in the office, however, or HR might have a few words with her.
Patrick at February 17, 2004 3:41 AM
About the "Vagina Friendly" bake sale...
Vagina friendly cookies wouldn't have sugar in them. Inserting something with sugar into the vagina increases the chance of a yeast infection.
Ron at February 17, 2004 7:46 AM
But yeast makes things, you know, rise.
Vagina-less Lena at February 17, 2004 12:06 PM
Guys run around shouting about their penises all the time. They just don't get published in magazines about it, because they tend to use, shall we say, less-than-sophisticated terminology.
LYT at February 17, 2004 1:06 PM
Yeah, but at least with guys, nobody's gone and formalized it. And I'm fine with informal pussy talk. It's just embarrassing when it's a big movement, like The Girl Scouts -- and involves a lot of people who should live out their lives with electrical tape firmly stuck across their mouths.
Amy Alkon at February 17, 2004 1:27 PM
I like hypothetical pussy talk. I'm a gay guy, and Amy and I chat about pussies all the time. This is truly an instance of me not knowing what the hell I'm talking about.
Lenapussy at February 18, 2004 4:48 AM
"You don't see men running around shouting about their penises."
You obviously don't follow hip-hop!
Jim Treacher at February 19, 2004 9:02 AM