A Vast, Left-Wing Conspiracy
Luke Y. Thompson points out how wrong people are to claim that Kerry is as far to the left as George Bush is to the right. If he actually were, notes Luke, he would have done the following things (below are a few of my favorites):
-Given federal funding to the Nation of Islam, Church of Scientology, PETA, and the Madalyn Murray O'Hair foundation. Denied it to any organization that allowed open expression of Christianity. As a consolation prize, made a public speech declaring that Christianity is a religion of peace.-Introduced the following acts: The "Meat is Tasty" act, to promote a vegan lifestyle; The "More Profits for Businessmen" act that would in fact cut CEO salaries in half; The "I Love Jesus" act, making it legal to bulldoze churches; and the "No Gun Left Behind" act, which would confiscate the guns from all Americans except Arabs who could show that they need guns because of their religion.
-Made Jerry Springer the Attorney General, because he knows how to break up fights.
-Given one press conference a year, and insisted in talking in Ebonics at each.
More here!
Retroactive abortions for everyone!
eric at May 10, 2004 12:05 PM