Therapy's Lenny Bruce
There's an article in yesterday's New York Times about Albert Ellis, the wise and hilarious 90-year-old psychologist and author of 55 books, whose thinking on solving psychological problems is part of the foundation of mine. Dan Hurley writes:
On a recent Friday evening, nearly 200 people came to the Albert Ellis Institute in Manhattan to watch a master performance ó call it stand-up psychotherapy ó by a legend.As he has on nearly every Friday night for more than 30 years, Dr. Albert Ellis, the 90-year-old psychologist who invented rational emotive behavioral therapy and wrenched psychotherapy out of the age of Freud and into the age of Dr. Phil, was demonstrating his no-nonsense, confrontational, obscenity-laden technique before a packed house on East 65th Street.
"Do you know why your family is trying to control you?" he asked a volunteer who joined him at the front of the room. "Because they're out of their minds," he said, adding an unprintable adjective between "their" and "minds."
Another volunteer, Kristin Bell, spoke of her sister who had been killed by a drug dealer eight years before. "Why can't you understand that some people are crazy and violent and do all kinds of terrible things?" Dr. Ellis asked. "Until you accept it, you're going to be angry, angry, angry."
It is Dr. Ellis's conviction that people can always rationally choose to change and that a psychotherapist's job is to nudge them, gently or otherwise, in the right direction. That view has defined his career and has helped usher in an emphasis on quick results over profound insights.
Ellis' thinking is based, in part, on the ideas of the Stoic philosopher Epictetus; that it's not things or events that disturb us but the views we take of them. Identify your irrational thoughts, change the way you think (to be more rational), and you can change the way you feel. I think his therapy is the fastest, most efficient kind out there.
If ever you're in New York, make sure you go to one of Ellis' Friday night therapy sessions before an audience, described in the article. $5 admission, 212-535-0822 is the number of Ellis' non-profit institute on East 65th in Manhattan (between Madison and Park). You can also get a great shot of Ellis from his books. A few I like are: A Guide To Rational Living, How To Stubbornly Refuse To Make Yourself Miserable About Anything, Yes Anything!, How To Control Your Anger Before It Controls You, his most recent book, Ask Albert Ellis, and The Albert Ellis Reader: A Guide to Well-Being Using Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, which is a compilation of Ellis' articles and talks.
PS The words Hurley "bleeped" for the article, if I know Ellis, are "fuck," "fucking," and "shit." If somebody says "fuck you," Ellis will turn around and say, "No, unfuck you -- fucking's a good thing!" I'm with him there!
This guy sounds interesting, so I got on Ebay to see what was available. I just typed in Albert Ellis. Anywho, the first three (of five) items were girly magazines he contributed articles to in the 50's and 60's. It reminded me of Kurt Vonneguts alter ego Kilgore Trout. Now I am really interested!
Glad you are back up Amy!!!!!!
eric at May 5, 2004 9:09 AM
Ellis is quite the ladies man! I think he's absolutely darling, even at 90, and he's a huge flirt.
Amy Alkon at May 5, 2004 9:12 AM
I just ordered "How to live with a nuerotic" and "How to stubbornly refuse to make yourself miserable", so I'll give you an update on when I finish them. Both seem timely.
As an aside, Lennys book "How to talk dirty and influence people" is one of my five all time favorites, and I highly reccomend it. It is a great picture of life in the swinging 40's-60's. I actually picked up a fine first edition a few years back in a Berkely used book store for a couple bucks.
eric at May 5, 2004 9:35 AM
Great -- looking forward to your review. And I have to post the story of my little run-in with the FCC. Very funny, in an absurd and absurdly horrible sort of way.
Amy Alkon at May 5, 2004 10:18 AM
Ok, gotta order some of these books right away. The ex, may his soul rot in some self created hell, boyfriend just charged a bunch of stuff on my account at the feed store.
Sheryl at May 6, 2004 7:45 PM
Don't know the details, Sheryl, but this sounds like fraud. Police report time? (Certainly if he didn't have permission to use your account, and maybe even if he did in the past.) I'm no lawyer, but...check it out! And do check out those books! Another good one for you -- Nathaniel Branden's "The Art Of Living Consciously." Branden's "The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem" is great, too. He and Al had a famous debate. Ayn Rand was there. Both Al and Nathaniel have claimed to me that they were the one who won that debate!
Amy Alkon at May 6, 2004 9:12 PM